Judge — January 25, 1896 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

"Copyright by Dupont. JUDGE'S FAVORITES. PMMA CALVE, A beaker full of the warm south thou art!— ‘Of song and sunshine filled to overflowing. ‘The artist With the Thrills in thy And hangs a h: isp on thy midnight hase. THERE'S a gleam of red on the And a clamor of flying wheels, As U give old" Flyaway Bess” her head And, swift as a shot from a rifle sped, She sweeps o'er the singing steels. Like a star at n And the f: Where to see shines a faint, far light, far light draws near, S pass she waits, dear lass, The love of the engineer. his way to the cider-mill — ad's rough bed, JUDGMENTS FROM MR. MCGARVEY. NIVER say doie tll yez be did. Hov no shtrangers on yer lisht 0° frinds. Av all th’ loiers Oi hates th’ wan thot tills th’ thruth wursht, Consumption was redhedi- tary in our-fam'ly till Mary Ann got it, an’ thot kilt it did. Oi hov a new-fangled shtove g-r-ranteed t’ save holf th’ fuel. If Oi hod two av thim Oi sup- phose no fuel at all at all wud be requoired. We wint to a moind-radin’ show wanst—me woman an’ me —an’ whin th’ felly did rade a newshpaper t'rough two thick- nesses o' harse-blanket Oi sez t’ me woman, sez Oi, it’s us thot'll be afther goin’ home ‘t wanst, fur this is no place fur yez wid only thot t’in calico driss on; an’ we wint. DAVID. TALMADGE, CHURCH fair is a place where we spend more than we can afford for things we do not want, in order to please peo- ple whom we do not like and to help heathen who are happier than we are. THE LOVE OF THE With a rattle and din along we spin, And the house runs blithely bj And, shadowed against the light within, Is the girl it has been my luck to win And the girl for whom I'd die! For a sight of the train, at the window pane She watches, my Nell, my dear, And rollicking past my heart beats fast— She's the love of the engineer ! WHAT IT SHOWED. Scuoot-visrror — "* What did George Washington say when his father asked him who cut down the cherry-tree 2” Boy—"' He said, ‘I done it, ole man—that's right ScHoot-visttor —" Hum—that's near enough—and wirat did that prove about young George Washington's character?” Boy—"'Tt proved be was dead on to his ole man an’ knew his ole man was dead on to him.” ENGINEER. ._ Thold your lives, oh, husbands and wives, In the palm of my grimy hand ! But you need not fear, whatever arrives, While the stanch old engine onward drives, For here at my post I stand ; And well I know she would have me go To my death unknowing fear. Asleep or awake, you are safe for the sake Of the love of the engineer ! GUY WETMORE CAMRYL, MENTAL ARITHMETIC, If a farmer was passing a country school-house with a load of apples, on —and the school-house contained eight pupils — —which had just been let out for recess — —how many gallons of cider could the farmer squeeze out of the remaining apples? comicbooks.com