Judge — January 11, 1896 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

W. J. Ameen. Brewuaro Giitam. 1. M. Garcons Editor. PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERM SUBSCRIBER: ONTTRD STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. ove vear. or s2 numbers = x months, of 26 RuMberS - 2.5 copy. for thirteen weeks == 1.25 < Inclading the Cumisras Jooce. WOK RIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To alt foreign countries im the postal union, $0.00 a year. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (JuncE BuiLntNa), Corner Fifth Avenue and Sixteenth Street, New York. OW puarantee advertivers a larger circulation tham any other American satire cal paper published. any and Junk 18, Leipsic, Germans Cable addres— 8 NOTICE TO PURLISHERS.—The contents of June are protected by copy- ght in both he United States and Great Hritain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted, BE PATRIOTIC, but don’t shoot until you get your gun loaded, WHILE THE PRESIDENT shot only ducks, he was apparently loaded for Bull. ME CARLISLE, regardless of tax and tariff, has the utmost faith in a fiat governmental income. UR CIVIL WAR has ended, but a fight for the Monroe doctrine would end it a good deal more. T°? HUMBERT of Italy—We suspect, your majesty, that the unforgivable criminality lies in the original Abyssinia. THE MAN TOOTS who was recently hanged in Texas is perhaps happy. but he must let Gabriel's instrument alone. THE SHORT CUT is not as safe as the long way ‘round. There are those who think that the best way to help Vene- zuela is to capture Canada. THAT PRUDENCE which provides for its own safety and continuance can- not be called jingoism. The man who shoots a burglar is no jingo. Times, speaking of England, “that has its roots in every quarter of the globe.” Exactly. ‘That is the identi- cal trouble, GLAND in coming here to fight would not burn her bridges behind E her. That would be done for her by Russia and perhaps some of the other powers, WONEN are advised by Mrs. M. Louise Thomas to raise bees. Some- thing new, is it? Why! they have been putting bees in every man’s bonnet since the beginning of the world. eee HERE ARE POWERS other than England that might join that country in South American piracy; but, then, there are still others that wouldn't allow them to do it with any kind of safety [TWILL be remembered that Maximilian was shot, and that the empire which sent him with an army into Mexico has been a republic for a quarter of a century. That ambition which o’erleaps itself is liable to break its neck. BELIEVE in the hypnotism theory regarding the great new: woma liar of this town, Barbara Aub. The trouble did not begin recently, however. She got it at birth. We can prove it by our deceased friends Ananias and Sapphira. NOTHING WONDERFUL, eee “This here book wot [ found tells erbout a sleepin’ beauty vot slep’ a hundred y De t b lieve it?” N EMPIRE,” says the London “” “Course, I kin do it meselt “Course. 1 kin do it meself.” RESUMPTION NEEDED. N THE STOMACH of acow killed at Gardiner, Maine, were found a gold dollar, two lead bullets, and twelve tenpenny nails. When the baser metals take the place of silver in this way the dignity of gold has got to a low level and it is time for Richard Bland and several senators to insist upon a resumption of the craze. DISMEMBERMENT. URKEY will apparently not be dismembered. Its various parts are held together by the blood of hundreds of thousands of butchered Christians. The powers are as guilty of the butchery as if it had been done by their orders. Their peace is crime. The question now up relates to the dismemberment of the triple alliance. A DRESS QUESTION, Gowns FOR JUDGES own greatness sul ? Do not judges worship the law and their ciently already? Why should they wear the livery of Englishmen any more than anybody else? ‘Their positions cre- ate the necessary awe. If, however, they must have a particular dress, let there be a compromise. Why not let them wear the bloomer? THE AMAZING PERSON. HERE WAS ONCE a woman who bought tickets at the various kinds of box-office and paid for them without a tive minutes’ delay, She seemed to think that other persons had a few rights, Men worshiped her, and she might have married a dozen times if she had not already had a husband. But she died. ‘The angels have her. and she will never have a successor in this world. THE MONROE-BLAINE IDEA. HIS CONGRESS will give the Monroe doctrine a local habitation in addition to its name. Thus far it has been an un- illuminated vagueness of the upper atmos- phere, without purpose, largely without meaning, and with the limited voice indi- cating a bad cold. It needs health and must become palpable to the touch. And undoubtedly it will be a leading issue in the national politics of this blessed year. THE JINGO AT HOME. THE FEROCIOUS JINGO of this town is not consistent. Why should he talk of giving liberty to Cuba and an- nexing Canada and flogging England in Veneznela, when he cannot buy a paper of pins or drink a glass of beer on Sun- day without violating the law, and when his wife or his daughter cannot go out-of- doors after sundown without danger of arrest and a period on Blackwell's island? WITHOUT PAIN. A NEW KIND of healer claims that he can pull teeth by suggestion, You send him the price and, though he’be miles’ away, the ailing tooth comes out through his suggestion to that effect But there is a better way. Your absent-minded friend hit upon it after the pulling of one tooth. Say!" he remarked to the dentist, “I've got to go down town right away. You pull the others while I'm gone.” GOOD OUT OF KENTUCKY. THE POSSIBILITIES in connection with Governor Bradley of Ken- tucky are numerous and large. Geographically he would go well on the national ticket with Maine, Indiana, New York, Ohio, or Iowa. His success is typical of the breaking up of the solids, north and south, and of the growth of Republican sentiment where it formerly had not the space necessary to lay its head. Watch that man Bradley. We are coming into new issues and new times. ‘ UNION FOR PROTECTION. WE SHALL HEAR presently of the united republics of South Amer- ica, and they will stand as one man with this government against any effort of England or any other foreign power to get a governmental foothold within their borders. That was the plan of Mr. Blaine, and the wonder is that it did not become a fact years ago. The Monroe doctrine is right and wise, and if there is going to be a fight about it the sooner it comes the less the expense and the loss of life. comicbooks.com {