Judge, 1895-12-28 · page 7 of 17
Judge — December 28, 1895 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects multiple satirical pieces typical of Judge's humor circa early 1900s: **"Christmas Morning"** mocks the popular gift of toy drums—the joke being a parent's regret after hearing the noise. **"The Great Lever"** satirizes materialism: a woman with a "past" (scandalous reputation) becomes marriageable if a man has money/gifts to offer. **"One Satisfaction"** ridicules new homeowners who grow vegetables to avoid food adulteration, though the practice is economically wasteful. **"No Closet Room"** jokes that apartment dwellers lack space for hidden "skeletons" (secrets)—everyone supposedly has one. **"She Is Old Enough"** mocks wealthy Boston society's absurd materialism: suggesting gold-rimmed glasses as a Christmas gift for a five-year-old. **"A False Alarm"** shows urban street characters reacting to commotion, reflecting working-class life. The ads and illustrations satirize immigrant dialects, advertising excess in remote areas, and commercial quackery—typical Judge targets of social pretension and hypocrisy.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
45 3 \ ©, F088 PREPARE TO MEET THY DEA € Tos Rep Leary (the general-advertisement painter) —"'There's thot chrank ava painther an me route i ‘im, Jack, whoile Oi sees phwat hilp he's A few master-touches, CHRISTMAS MORNING. E WOKE, his sleep with trouble fraught, And heard an awful sound, He thought The day of judgment come ; Then he remembered he had bought His little boy a drum ONE SATISFACTION. Mrs. Newlywed —" We raise all our own vegetables.” Mrs, Oldun—* Thi ;. ant, but not economic: Mrs. Newlywed—"1 know that; but then we know they are not adulterated.” THE GREAT LEVER. Merritt-—* What do you think of the woman with a past 2” Cora —" At Christmas she is likely to be won by the man with a present.” is pleas PRIDE. counthry kin throw as shtraight.” iw A FALSE ALARM. STREET-GAMIN (up fo his old tricks)—* Say, gen Cuorus (druggist, monument fiend, undertaker, florist)—"*Any one killed?” ADVERTISING IN THE ADIRONDACKS. FEDICINES § SURGICAL Gow J PREPARE THY ‘ON! SING- Tra JONES’ Fi * | OQ foR A THous AND TONGU | To mect DEATH — 3cE. SOAP \y Rep Learv—"* Now ¢hot's bizniz-loike.” PatT—“' Wud yez look at thot? i'll bet there isn’t another woman in th’ | NO CLOSET ROOM. ¢* EVERY one has a skeleton,” they ~ say, ‘+ In his closet ;” we don’t believe that. In fact for you it cannot be true, Because you live in a flat, SHE IS OLD ENOUGH. SOYVHAT shall. we get for little Emersonia’s Christmas- gift?” said Mrs. Backbay of Boston to-her husband. “‘Letus consider. What is her age?” She will soon be six.” ‘Is she that,old? *-Don't you think she caght to .have a pair of gold-rimmed 2ye-glasses ?” METHOD. HE WHO robs Peter to pay Paul, Cool calculator, Will strike Paul for a larger loan A little later. lere’s a deuce of a riot down on de nex’ street "—— comicbooks.com