Judge — December 14, 1895 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

W. J. Amen TM. PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. ONTTRD STATES AND CAN) AI ADVANCE, ‘One copy, one vear. or sz numbers - $5.00 ‘ One copy, six months. or 26 numbers - 2.50 4 One copy, for thirteen weeks - —e Tnclading the Cuxtsraas Juoce, FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS~ To alt foreign countries im the postal nian, $0.00 year. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (JuvcE BuILDIN Corner Fifth Avenue and Sixteenth Street, New York. 435 87 We gus cal paper published Tae Jove, Juvce’s Lienany and Jvoce’s Quarrenty Iz Avense delOpera, Parts; Smith, Ainsize & Co The International Breams Building. Chai 18, Leipuic, Germa: Cable dire © NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Juvcx are protected by copy- ght in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. WARCRY of Lord s lisbury—" Shtop a leedle.”* A PORTION of our navy has certainly gone to Texas, TO OLGA of Russia— Dear child, the nibilists “Il catch y' ef y' don't watch out. F BULK is safety the next political tickets ought to be printed on thick posters in very loud colors. [8 REMARKING that_pro- tection generates monopolies Mr Bayard doesn’t refer to those British syndicates, does he? R. HILL'S METHOD of soothing his chagrin is stolen from Mr. Ingalls, who ought to have got a patent on it, M®: WHITNEY will be* out” to Grandmother Democ- racy hereafter; but not half as much so as if he were to accept her coy advances. POUBTLESS there is a feel- ing of relief in several in’ dishes?” quarters be cof Mr. Platt’s declaration that he will never write Aus naughty biography. ORD SHOLTO DOUGLASS proposes to breed fine cattle and horses. His father tried the same experiment with his own family and made a failure of it. 7 COLONEL. WATTERSON advises “the rock-ribbed Democrats” of Kentucky to trust in God and try it again. Trust in—h'm! What's the matter, colonel ? MAX O'RELL says he likes to “strew' flowers at the feet of the Ameri- can women.” A very sensible man; and the more so as he hasn't a title to provoke suspicion of his sincerity. THE WIFE of a New Haven clergyman says she would rather send her son to hell than to Yale college. The lady is too hasty. What does she know about the curriculum of the former establishment ? JOHN SHERMAN having renounced his desire to be president, a num- ber of newspapers have made him their candidate for the position. The way to win is to pass a resolution to come in last or to shoot the track. BEATEN AT SEA, Dunraven is now taking many stripes, from the press of the universe, over the bare back. But he has this conso- lation. Along with the other unhappy children, he can go around exhib- iting his sores. INWARD APPREHE! TUR BLACKVILLE NEW WOMAN (refurning from a nocturnal visit)}—" | wondah ef dat husban’ o° marn hez had sense ‘nuff toe look aftah de fiah while he's bin wash- THE GREATEST MURDERER. HE CASES of Durrant and Holmes afford hope that that vastly larger murderer, the sultan, may some day meet with retribution, Of course, however, he can’t be executed. He is too big a murderer for that; for, as the reader doubtless has observed. the greater the criminal the greater the immunity. HER BLAWSTED DIGNITY. NE OF THE, BARNES BROTHERS of Albany, as we learn from the Buffalo Express, cabled the queen, when Thurlow Weed died, “Grandpa is dead”; but the more pathetic part of the incident is that the proud, haughty woman never shed a return message or a tear. And yet people talk of a fusion between Britannia and the United States. NO MONARCHY THERE. REFUGEE MONARCHISTS in Europe are trying to restore the mon- archy to Brazil. It would be as easy to lift the peak of the late Mr. Pike with a tooth-pick. The republicans of Brazil will eat each other up with ghoulish glee before they permit a resumption of that kind. They want it understood that Brazil is their funeral and no potentate’s. THE LITTLE KNOWLEDGE. COLLEGE GIRL laments that while the woman of the period wants to look up to her husband, there is no husband worthy of the honor, There are some kinds of limited education that develop nothing but a foolish egotism and a sublime complacency. These results disappear, however, if the victim can manage somehow to learn a little more, BLOOD! W MUST remind Sackville. West that our Don M, Dickinson calls him an ass. Not only that, but Mr. Dickinson says he is an infernal ass, the very worst possible animal of that kind. Possibly the charge is cor- rect. If it is not correct we feel sure that Sackville- West will call Mr. Dickinson out and do a It- tle jingo business of his own. A GRAVE NECESSITY. THE IMPRESSION is gain- ng that Mr, Cleveland can have it if he wants it. Prob- ably, indeed, he can't get rid of it if he doesn’t want it. His party is in the condition of the man who swapped thirty of his sixty acres of bad land fora calf, ~The owner of the calf couldn't read,” suid the real-estate person in-an account of the transaction, “and in making out the deed | put the whole sixty acres on him.” DAVID. MB: BILL has concluded not to go back to the senate. ‘The times are not favorable to that part of his ambition. But he has a fine supply of the presidential article and he knows how to use it. For it really must not be supposed that Mr. Hill is buried again, If, indeed, he were buried he is so used to it that he could easily dig himself up. No; it must not be supposed that we have heard the last of Mr. Hill, He is young and he is a good deal of a man IT DOESN’T EXPLAIN. MBS. LIVERMORE explains the small vote for suffrage in Massachu- setts by the assumption that the women were afraid of their hus- bands. Tut, tut! That is palpably weak and almost wholly untrue. It is just worth mentioning that there are many more women than men in the Bay state, and most of them think. Is it true that the Massachusetts woman is a coward? And must it be said, “Who would be free must get somebody else to strike the blow WATER AND BARBARISM, A LECTURER shows a picture of a man with a keg, and says, * Were this in Paris there would be wine in the keg; in Berlin, beer; in London, ale; in America, whisky; but in Constantinople the keg con- tains ulways water;” and he adds that among one hundred and eighty million Mohammedans in the world there is not a drunkard. Very well Water and sobriety must go. That is an attack upon them which must have an awful influence throughout the civilized world. comicbooks.com