Judge, 1895-12-07 · page 28 of 48
Judge — December 7, 1895 — page 28: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple brief satirical pieces on Christmas themes, typical of Judge's style: **"The Brute"** mocks a stingy husband who, asked by his wife what she wants for Christmas, gives her "nothing" because she said she wanted nothing—playing on masculine literalism and cheapness. **"Weary Raggles on Christmas"** features a vagrant character reflecting that island poorhouses beat homelessness, and that he'd impersonate Santa if his dyed whiskers hadn't worked out—satirizing urban poverty and the disconnect between holiday cheer and actual hardship. **"He Knew"** shows a child catching Santa in a moral inconsistency: if Santa only rewards good boys, why did he bring presents to obviously bad ones? **"His Business"** depicts a wandering tramp claiming to "advocate better roads" as his occupation—satirizing vagrants' excuses and, likely, actual 1890s-era road-improvement activism. The bottom photograph appears unrelated editorial content showing manual laborers.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE BRUTE! HE ASKED bis wife what she would like to get. * Oh, nothing,” answered she. He never yet with such good fortune met— He gave it willingly. WEARY RAGGLES ON CHRISTMAS. F SANTA CLAUS put ennything in my stockin’ it wud drop out o' de heel. When yer swipe a turkey in town yer don't hev de job o' pickin’ off de feathers. De pious blokes whut supplies de boys wid readin’= matter patronize de wrong book-store. De white Chris'mus is immense when yer kin set ‘longside a warm stove an* watch it throo a winder. Ef I hedn’t used dat dye- stuff on me whiskers when dey wuz gittin’ gray I might hev hed a fine job imperson- atin’ Santa Claus. De island may be a poor place ter spend Chris’mus, but it's better dan hevin’ HE KNEW, : Wir, (af the close of Christmas day)—"* Maw, didn't you say that Santa Claus only brought presents to good boys ?” Mote: ves, dear.” Witiie—"* Well, if Santa Claus thinks all of the fellers he brought presents for are good boys somebody has give him an awful steer.” HIS BUSINESS. Farmer Grexne —" Hain't yer got no business?” WANDERING WILLIE —"* Wy, yes ; jes’ at present I'm advocatin’ better roads.” de farmer's wife experimint on yer wid mince-pie. A man can’t be expected ter be good all de time. By comin’ ter town an’ joinin’ de salvation army in de winter 1 manage ter strike de golden mean. = city folks wud only go away an’ shut up deir houses in de winter instead o' de summer de town wud be a better place ter spend Chris'mus in. VERY NEW. Clerk —* Here's a cus- tomer asking if there’s any- thing new in Christmas liter- ature.” Book-seller—* Don't come to me with your stupid questions. Don’t you know that our stock left from last Christmas is as new as the day it came from the pub- lishers’?" DESIRE, IF Thad all I wanted, Of which I feel bereft, I must confess undaunted ‘There wouldn't be much left. comicbooks.com