Judge — November 16, 1895 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

USING THE REVIVER. y, major, there's some blame good points about this foot-ball game, after all.” HE WAS THINKING OF THEM. J. Ca&SAR MORAUDANT (decisively) — ** I leave the profession to-morrow, to accept a position in a hardware-store.” J. Bruvus Macuire — ** What! fellow, think of the many ties "—— J] Cassar MORAUDANT (grim/r) — "1 am thinking of them. just walked here from Syracuse.” Leave the stage? Never! My dear I have MISS MARY ELLEN EASTSIDE AND THE ENTERTAINMENT. GEORGE got a chance t’ sing at a liter'y entertainment the other night, an’ nobody ’s been able to do anything with him before nor since. Now George can't sing. Thinks he can, but he can't. Jest bellers like a bull o’ Bashan, that's all. But the only way you can make him mad. ist’ tell him ‘t he can’t sing LITERARY He goes inter a surplus choir every oncet in a while, when he’s got a mind ter give up his Sundays: but there the other fellers turn to an’ drownd him out. An’ he can play the mouth-harmoniky an’ the accordion, an’ says he's goin’ ter take on a banjo The way he come ter sing fer this entertainment was ‘t he was passin’ a house on the avenue one evenin’ an’ happened ter see t the lace winder- curtins had blowed inter the gas an’ was afire; so George rushes in an’ pulls ‘em down an’ stamps the fire out. The man of the house gives him the glad hand, an’ cf course George tells him ‘t he’s a singer ‘fore he'd know'd the man five minutes; an’ the man ast George ter sing fer a sciety 't he was president of. George hired a dress-suit t was too long- waisted in the back, an’ bought a pair of patent-leather tooth-pick shoes two sizes too small fer him an’ a pair of white- o' them big flowers with the tom-fool name in hi his hair in the middle an’ ‘t wouldn't stay “tthe director railroaded him out He stuck to it ‘t he got an ongcore an of it, out of jealousy. I said ‘t he didn’t. An’ I, says, “That giel ‘t all you duffers seemed ter think so much of, an’ ‘t had on a dress trimmed ith feather trimmin’ ‘t was moulin’, an’ thet snorted an’ pawed gravel roun’ that stage, spoutin’ some Japanese slush about a pagody, or a belfry, an’ a korfu, had better have wore a high-neck dress; fer her neck looked gridiron, an’ her arms like the wings of a picked chicken.” George says, “ Mary Ellen, ye're jealous ag appresheation of anything ‘t 's artistic !” “No,” I says, “an’ they didn’t appresheate you, neither, up in that college town where you went with a bum Pinafore comp’ny, an’ where the students shut off the gas on ye an’ fired benches onter the stage! * “There ye go inter ancient hist’ry ag’in!" he says.“ Any one of us was better ‘n that comic singer ‘t you admired so much t'-night, an’ thet had ter be choked off ter keep him from givin’ the whole show alone! Here we are at your corner, Time we begun t' make up. Time!" An with that he give me a smack; an’ 1 boxed his ears an’ run in the house, , an’ y" haven't got no ADELINE ORVIS RIGHT IN CANNInAL CHIFP—"'T say, secretary. just drop a line to the editor of the Bugle and state that the Reverend Mr. Missionary is now in our midst.” comicbooks.com