Judge — October 5, 1895 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

W. J. Anicett. mano GILLAM. 1M. dit Grecon PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE, One copy, one year. or s2 numbers - $5.00 One copy, six months, or 26 numbers - 2.50 J One copy, for thirteen weeks ~ 135 Tnclid.ng the Cwxistatas Jui FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS To all foreign countries in the postal umion, $0.00 year. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (Jupce BurLprNc), Corner Fifth Avenue and Sixteenth Street, New York. a. (27- NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Jvoce are protected by copy- right in bath the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be Promptly and vigorously prosecuted. WE ARE NOT “ BLUFFING.” the great International Game, is treated Po g C humorously in the October JUDGE'S LI- y BRARY. Funniest book on earth, TEN CENTS A COPY, Sent by mall If not at your news-deates §@™ NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Juocm are protected by copy: mgt in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. HE NEW WOMAN has com- menced to jump the big bridge. It had to come. HE CZAR to the nihilists— Don’t shoot! I'd come down right away if they'd let me.” It MUST be admitted, too, that the American winds always blow in the anti-British direction. WE WILL now have the song by Lord Dunraven, “You shall not play in my dock-yard.”” WHY SHOULD Dr. Fraker, . who has had some insurance experience, carry that superfluous r? | TRUST there is one for the man who hooked my pocket-book, and I hope it's hot—R. G. Inger- soll. ce THE GREAT LENGTH of Sen- ator Hill's Horseheads speech shows that he believes in jawbreak- ing too. LL THE DEMOCRATS are getting their heads together for harmony, and such is their haste that a number of the heads are badly fractured. HE LAW-BREAKER is a great believer in Hill. “Here, you!” he says fiercely to the man who arrests him liberty alone.” you jest let my personal SENATOR GRAY of Delaware uses many words in behalf of a third term, and seems proud to believe that there is only one man in the United States. MAYOR STRONG says the government of this town knows no party. We trust the time is not going to come when the several parties will know no existing city government. UDYARD KIPLING lived three weeks under an assumed name in a New York boarding-house, and then got away to Europe; and yet they say that our police-force is the finest in the world. [N ONE DAY the queen of Belgium was thrown from her horse and the king of Italy was thrown from his. Without stopping to inquire whether that was the purpose of his creation, it must be insisted that the horse must go. ar A WANDERER'S LAMENT. honor” said die colons TR Mr Easy Riper—‘* Me only regret is dat de bizzy freight-agent wot give “honor.” said the culprit. ere! me de job re-canin’ dis easy-chair didn’t pay me fer it in advance.” A DOUBTFUL VIRTUE. EIR HARDIE was permitted in Chicago to briefly praise the anarch- ists who were hanged in that town. That he was not mobbed is proof of the tolerance of the decent citizens he hates; and that he was allowed to resume after a rebuke may possibly show that there is such a thing as too much patience. RELIGIOUS PROGRESS. ‘THE CATHOLIC UNIVERSITY at Washington has opened its doors to women. This is the more significant in view of the unwillingness of the larger portion of the Protestant church to give women any privileges except those of silence and the paying of tithes. When the new religious rebellion begins, under the flag “No taxation without representation,” the progressive woman may seek the church that treats her best. THE AFFLICTED WILLIES. HERE 1S SOMETHING pathetic in Hill's frequent allusions to the poor man and his beer and the humble saloon. Why not, however. shed tears over the suffering tramp and the small but honest growler? What have they done that the law should persecute them half to death ? Alas! the senator has aristocratic preferences too, else he would carry his sympathies to the jagged tomato-can and the uninviting ditch PAYING THE DAMAGES. JHE MEXICAN LAW which sends a duelist to jail for three years, compels him to pay the widow of the man he murdered forty-five hundred dollars a year for eighteen years, and makes him pay a fine of eighteen hundred dollars and the funeral expenses of his victim, is made up largely of good, practical justice. To be sure the man ought to be hanged, but in that case the widow would. be punished for his 7 THE STATE OF THE AST. NULLIFIERS. THE EDUCATIONAL TEST proposed in South Carolina’ as a means to practically disfranchise the negro, and the further propo- sition to pronounce him ineligible fof office. are certainly in opposition to the intention of the fourteenth and fifteenth constitutional amend- ments; but the fact of a black ma- jority of forty thousand confers ex- treme ingenuity on the law-makers and the legal wisdom that construes constitutional and smaller enact- ments. THE UNFAIR COUNT. ¢eTHIS IS YOUR THIRD ap- pearance here,” said the magistrate with severity. “No, your was an interval between the first and second, and therefore it is only my second.” “I have not by me the peculiar arithmetic of Senator Gray of Delaware,” said the magistrate reflectively ; “ but I guess the mis- demeanors count without regard to the intervals, and therefore according to the written and printed law you are elected to the strictest seclusion for a third term” And when Mr. Cleveland heard of it he sneezed vio- lently and looked sadly after the biggest fish that always gets away. A NAVAL PRECEDENT. E DAY in 1812 a naval battle was about to open. The British commander had complained that on a previous occasion his line of retreat had been corrugated by the vessels of the spectators, and he wanted that sort of thing stopped, On this occasion the gun for the action to begin was fired promptly and the American vessel began to bear down upon the Englishman, when there was a loud cry of "Alt!" and a flag of protest went rapidly up the Englishman's baby-spanker—we believe that is the name. “What's the matter?” asked the American in a hoarse voice. “There's a blawsted row-boat right in front o' me bow an I cawn’t move without gettin’ her blawsted wash,” shrieked the English- man; and his vessel backed into the dock with such force as to carry the greater part of it away. Of course, the fight was off. History records the event as a British surrender, but the intelligent reader at this end of the century knows it was merely a British protest with a few unfortunate results comicbooks.com