Judge, 1895-09-14 · page 6 of 16
Judge — September 14, 1895 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several disconnected satirical pieces typical of Judge magazine's format: **"Where He Went"** is a poem about a man who courts the fair Margery, then abandons her for another woman. She sues him for breach of promise—a common legal action in the era when broken marriage engagements were actionable offenses. The satire mocks inconstant suitors. **"An Up-to-Date Answer"** jokes about a Sunday school boy applying modern slang ("football hair") to a Biblical story, satirizing how youth modernize everything. **"The Symposium"** ridicules sentimental Victorian poetry by suggesting editors receive dreary verses about emotional ailments and proposes printing them together as an "affliction symposium." **"How Some Are Healed"** mocks superstition and folk medicine—a man credits a horse chestnut for curing rheumatism, then can't find it, undercutting his own belief. The final comic strip shows a worker understanding his boss's dismissal of a raise demand perfectly—he gets fired instead, illustrated through sequential panels.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
WHERE HE WENT. E WENT to court Miss Margery, ‘A maiden sweet as sweet could be, A maiden wonderfully fair, With eyes of blue and golden hair— The very soul of poesy. She smiled on him so lovingly, No wonder that so full of glee He felt whene'er this lass so rare He went to court. But ab, for love and constancy ! He met another maid, and she So charmed him with her amorous air, That Margery, full of despair, For breach of promise sued, and he— He went to court / NATHAN a, taVY, AN UP-TO-DATE ANSWER. SUNDAY-SCHOOL TEACHER—"And now, James, how came Joab to slay Absalom in the tree?” James (promptly)—"*’Cos his foot-ball’ hair got ketched in de limbs when he was makin’ a rush fer safety.” THE SYMPOSIUM, HE editor of the Weekly Repository of Facts and Fancies recently received two poems, one entitled “The Throbbing Brain” and the other The Bleeding Heart.” He announced that both verses were reserved for publication, and as soon as he received a poem entitled “ The Aching Stomach” he would print all three together as a symposium of affliction. HOW SOME ARE HEALED. 4‘6Q)H, WELL,” said O Flotsam, “you may laugh at it as a su- perstition, but the fact re mains that it cured my theumatism. I suffered for ten years, but since I've carried that horse- chestnut in my pocket I haven't had a twinge.” “You carry a horse- chestnut, do you?” asked Skepticus. “Yes.” “Let's see it.” “Great Apollo! I can't find it. I must have left it in that suit of clothes my wife gave to the rag- man ‘ast fall.” A GREAT nature is oft- en more easily dis- turbed by trifles than by Mr. CLerky—“' When that dod-gasted old gump of a boss comes in real vicissitudes. I'm going to strike him for a raise, and bet I'll get it too.” HE UNDERSTOOD IT PERFECTLY. icbooks.com