Judge — September 7, 1895 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ALWAYS THUS, A CARD-TRICK. Changing the ace of clubs into the king of spades. SEASONABLE ADVICE, A DECLARATION, G2 70 tothe sea, athletic one, WILL not pawn my Sunday suit, Nerves, health and strength to reach ; My watch, my chain, my scarf-pin, no; For sand and grit you'll find galore My books, my overcoat, my flute, ‘And mussels on the beach. Because—I've pawned them long ago. REASONED OUT. The drink they get ——and the drink you invariably take Countryman (regarding ship heavily laden and settled low in the water)—" By — When you treat—— when others treat. jock! if that there sea was a little higher that ship would go to the bottom.” WHEN ONE’S WIFE IS AWAY. Mrs, Dorcas —* When you returned from the country I suppose you found the place all upset. It’s always that way when a man is left to keep house.” Mrs. Cobwigger —"Yes, my dear; the litter was ter- rible. The only place that was cleaned up was the wine- cellar.” FOR A LONG TIME, TOO, SOYVHAT do you think of that?” said Mr. Taddells to his wife as the two looked at an Egyptian mummy. “T think the gentleman must have been pressed for time,” replied Mrs. Taddells. SUMMER LOVE, H, ME! Now when fond memory brings My thoughts back to the past I see that, like so many things, It was too good to last. WISE MAN. Bagley (in Brooklyn)—" You ride a good deal in the trolley-cars, don't you, Bailey?” Bailey—" Yes; a good deal.” Bagley—" Do you have to, or is it only a fad?” Bailey—" Well, you see, Bagley, Mrs. Countrytows—" Now, children, hold yer heads up an’ look smart an’ people won't know but what we if you're inside a trolley-car it can’t run are members o' the New Vork four hundred when they see us at the seashore,” over you.” CALLED AND FOUND WANTING. __PARSON JOUNSON (swith his eye on Sporty Jackson)—" Ef dar am a po'r. misabul sinnah yar toe-night T want toe call him toe repentance. (Raising his SPORTY JACKSON (waking suddenly)—"* Ob, blame it! taik de pot ; taik de voice.) Ef dar am a lost lamb yar toe-night T want toe call him ”— pot. I's bin bluffin’. comicbooks.com