Judge — September 7, 1895 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

uae away, and on no account let him go away.” With these instructions and a five-dollar bill the porter made his way to the compartment where Traverly sat quietly read- ing a newspaper. The porter sat down and became wrapt in the moving panorama, only a stealthy glance now and then showing where his real attention was. Traverly looked up and frowned and muttered some- thing about the “confounded impudence of these porters.” Five, and then ten minutes went by, and still the porter sat there. Traverly became furious. = “Look here, you, porter,” ave ai eats fours has! he exclaimed, “I don’t want you Para pie (proud/y)—"" You are right, my dear; he is certainly “Dat's all making a perfect hog of himself.” right, boss,” re- 4 . oa { turned the dar- y key with the proud conscious- PARALYZING A PROHIBITIONIST, ness of a duty Mr. WATERS (indignantly) —“* The very ‘idea of shicl having a saloon and a church so near together !" which must be Caseyv—"' Yez be roight ; but aven wid all me in- performed; flooince Oi can't get thim to move thot church.” “ dat’s all right.” ‘All right,’ you fool?” retorted Traverly ; “ what do you mean by your impudence? If you don’t get out of this seat in four seconds I'll go to your conductor and have you put out.” The porter remained tranquilly seated, This was too much for Traverly. He jumped up. But the porter jumped too. “No yo’ doan’, boss. Yo" set right heah.”” Traverly was now wild with rage, and if the porter had had any doubts about his insanity before they were immediately dispelled. They grappled and the porter was getting the best of it when the conductor appeared. He had been given the “tip” by Dickson and Johnson, and surveyed the scuffle, in which the porter had almost overpowered Traverly, with a calm, judicial satisfaction. This was too much for Traverly, and he managed to gasp out to the conductor that he was a disgrace to the road, when he caught sight of his friends, Johnson and Dickson, roaring with laughter. The porter, too, saw that some joke was up, and relaxed his hold. The conductor be; to laugh, and ‘Traverly summoned up strength to make a rush for his friends, who had again retreated into the smoking-room; and then, with that sickly air which becomes such exigencies, he finally stopped their hysterical explanations with a push of the button and a careworn “Take the orders, porter.” 1. THE WIDOW'S “BIKE.” ‘The favored successor of the dear departed will take the front seat. REFORM. oe W AS Jason successful in his reform work ?” “Ob, yess very. He got the office.” TRAVERLY’S TROUBLE. [TIS the essence of the highest art in practical joking to play upon the victim’s most sensitive points, as two well-known Buffalo bank- ers did upon a friend not long ago, when all three were returning from New York. Traverly had a somewhat exaggerated sense of his own importance, and his manner toward any species of servant could not be called exactly conciliatory. This his friends Dickson and Johnson knew, and resolved, as the afternoon wore on and the * Empire state express” had brought them to ennui and almost to Buffalo, to play a bit of a trick on him, They quietly. withdrew to the smoking-compartment and called the colored porter to them. * Porter,” said Dickson in a casual but convincing tone, “ you may have noticed that rather good-looking man who is with us on the train ?” "Yes, sah.” “Now, that man is hopelessly insane. We're taking him to the asylum in Buffalo, and as we have been with him for along time to-day and wish a little rest, we would like you to look after him a bit. Just go in and seat yourself in the same compartment with him and, no matter what he says, on no account allow him to leave his seat. His symptoms are bad; thinks he’s a floor-walker—must be perpetually moving. He may object to your being there, but don’t you move The successor in this case will take the rear seat. comicbooks.com