Judge — August 17, 1895 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

STILL WAITING. Mr. Brooke Lyn- ite—* What gives your ceilings that peculiar look, Brownstone ?” Mr. A. Brown- stone—" That is some sizing that was put on, ready for the kalso- miners, in eighteen- seventy-eight.”” Mr, Brooke Lyn- sle—"And they haven't got round yet?” Mr, A. Brown- stone —" No; but I've just got a postal from the contractor that I may expect them in July ‘ninety-one.” HIS DEPARTED. é * JeNKINS—"* Whose photograph is that in your watch 2” SK advice of two That's a likeness of my departed wife.” officials and fall (dolefully)—"* Alas! in heaven?” between two fools. J N (more dolefully)— hotel-bills { receive weekly.” Copyright by Fath, 18. , YI] Yip} \\\ — JUDGE'S FAVORITES. nf) Ne ayy | MARIE. JANSEN, WM, ii | ee * Miss Dynamite” don’t suit you, quite, i 5 Hy ‘As a characteristic name: For you, dear child, it's a trifle wild— ‘Though, of course, you are not tame. Vet, che Marie, whate'er it be, You'll bring it friends and fame, THE COMING WOMAN. : [T bezins t0 look as if one would er Not 7 am ry see Meaty, Little more of the maid divine ; The girl of the future is going to be ‘The one with the bicycle spine. ON RIVERSIDE DRIVE. First pedestrienne —"\ see you haven't * Puggy’ with you this morning.” Second pedestrienne— No; the damp weather is so apt to take the curl out of his tail.” HE. people who furnish out- ings for sick babies find that it takes as many grown people to get one puny infant out on the water as it does to take one IMPEACHING A WITNESS, small boy to the circus, Lawyer (for the defense)—"* You were in the saloon when the shooting occurred ?* Wrtness (for the state)—"" I was.” Lawyer—" State the location of the saloon.” Wir * Four hundred and eleven Chestnut street, Lexington, Kentucky.” Lawver—' What was the defendant doing when you entered the saloon ?* Writwess—"' He was treating the crowd.” Lawyer—"* What did he say?” Witwess—" He said, * Mister Beauregard, will you and Mister Blublud and Mister Fireater and Mister Ked- eye and Mister Cornbred and Mister Jefferson join me in a drink, suhs?""* Lawyer— Your honor, the defense rests. I would respectfully submit to this intelligent jury that there are not six plain misters in the whole state of Kentucky.” A MODERN INSTANCE, K USSNER, he vowed, should do her miniature Ere of the honeymoon was spent one half ; But brought home to her, when a year had passed, A club-rate ticket for a photograph. A MATRIMONIAL MARK, Bridget McGavin— Ver owld inimy, th’ owldest McNulty gurrl, is mahrried.” Mary Ann Casey—" Oi knew 't.” Bridget McGavin—" How did yez know "t whin NOT IN IT, norfe av yez is on shpakin’ turrums ?” Tue Toucw pov—"" Say, fellers, le's go swimml Mary Ann Casey — Didn't Oi mate her on Tinth TASS TENDER BOW 6 Our icthes won niet Tux TOUGH BoY—"* Oh, shucks! Why ain't yer erpha avuny wid a black oye? like Tam?"