Judge — July 20, 1895 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

UNCLE BEN'S RUSE, TOWN-MARSHAL—"* How is it that there are no shooting affrays in your saloon, Uncle f Ben?" UNcie Ben (of Bloody Run)—"* Wa-al, pard, th’ boys knows thet every one 0° them boxes back o' th’ bar is full o” dynamite. They also knows thet I'm th’ only duck in town thet's got religion an’ is prepared t’ die, an’ they holds their fire accordin'ly.” HIS TRAINING. She—" Your friend's conversa- tion strikes me as being very in- sipid.” He—"Yes; he cultivates it on purpose. She—"And, pray, what may his purpose be?” He— He writes society plays.” SO ENGLISH. Fyles—" l wear pants on week- days and trousers on Sund: John Bullson—“Aw! 1 sup- pose the trousahs are of superiah British manufactuah.” Fyles—* No; but the pants are paid for.” age UNFORTUNATELY. HEY were driving together when Miss Rocks unsolicited gurgled forth her views upon matrimony. “Love is a dreary desert,” she said, “and marriage an oasis." Where- upon Mr. Shyly remarked that “it certainly did require a deal of sand.” IN HIS LINE, SS YVHO was the first man to make a mountain out of a mole hill?” “Oh, some real-estate dealer, 1 suppose.” A POPULAR SUMMER KESOKT, THE GROUND. Helen’s husband is suing for a divorce.” was afraid Helen was too advanced for him. What reason Miss Gaskett. Miss Stévetts. does he bring forward Miss Gaskett—" He asks for a divorce on the ground of non-sup- MORE DANGEROUS. “Say, what yer hidin’ fer? See er bear?” “Nope. Dude hunter.” THEY THOUGHT IT WAS A KODAK AND DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS LOADED. comicbooks.com