Judge — July 13, 1895 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

W. J. Amwete, 1. M. Gurcony. ano Grevas jitor: PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TO SUBS UNITRD STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE, One copy, one year. ors2 numbers - $5.00 One copy, six mouths. or 26 numbers - 2.50 One copy, for thirteen weeks == 1.3 Including the Cunisrmas Juoce FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS— To all foreign countries in the postal umion, $0.00.a year. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (Juncr Bur.ninc), Corner Fifth Avenue and Sixteenth Street, New Yor (A THE PUBLISHERS of the New York weekly JUDGE notify the public that the use of JUDGE im local advertising schemes by printing and inerting advertizing paces between its leaves is a direct violation of the publisher® rights under the copy right lave, and all copies of JUDGE are sold upon the express condition that they will not be used for such purposes. No one is authorized by the publishers to use JUDG id they will take prompt int "110 Fifth avenue, New York. 27 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS. —The contents of Junce are protected by copy- ght in both the United States and Great Hritain, Infringement of this copyright will be Promptly and vigorously prosecuted. needs is a buffer against the law and Laidlaw. W HAT MR PROVERB BY DEBS—Look not upon the cucumber when it is green AGE HICAGO will presently go ahead of New York, but its population will be largely of the fiat kind. see seTHE NAVY is peace,” says the kaiser, evidently forget- ting that the remark originated in Harlem, AN AUTHORITY insists that no kind of shark is dangerous to human life. Very well; you try it— we're busy. +] FIND no inconvenience,” says a lady, “in riding a wheel with a long skirt.” Dear madam, that is not the question, JOSEPH COOK is going around the world with his lectures, and THE DUTY OF DEBT-PAYING. PAIN has owed us twenty million dollars for nine years, and the gov- ernment wants the'money. To seize Havana and collect her customs is on the whole such a reasonable thing to do that we regret having ob- jected to it in the case of the English at Corinto, As has been remarked, it is a small person who isn’t ready to confess his mistakes; and things do change so rapidly at this end of the century. OUR AFFECTIONATE. TRIBUTE. HE GIRL GRADUATE knows a great deal whether she knows any- thing or not. Her first duty is to be pretty, and it is always attended to. If she has nad time to perfect herself in other respects, well and good ; if not, still and forever well and good. A pretty girl is in herself an edu- cation, and whatever she thinks or says or writes is right whether it is right or not Oh, let us cherish that part of our educational system which gives us the pretty graduate. THE CHURCH AND THE BLOOMERS. SOME CLERGYMEN are as pronounced in favor of bloomers and the bicycle as Bishops Coxe and Doane are pronounced against them. That shows that there are two sides to the question, notwithstanding the sweeping assumption of the bishops that there is only the one which belongs to them. Then, too, there is a possibility that women know how to dress and conduct themselves without the aid or the commands of the other sex, church or no church, THE LAW AND THE JUROR. LET THE JUROR be paid a fair price for his services. He is as much entitied to it as judges and lawyers. And why should men be obliged to serve if thereby their business, their health and their patience suffer? What right has the law to a tyranny that belongs to no other institution ? Let us repeat the question, why not professional jurors? Let men’ be educated to that business, and let them be paid for it, The law takes to-itself an authority as imperative ‘as that of the czar. It has no busi- ness to outrage the liberty of the citizen in that way. THE INSULTS OF THE COURT- ROOM. ‘THE NAGGING of witnesses by lawyers is amusing to the nag- ger and the court audience, but is it not amazing that the court should allow it to go to extremes? Is a 7. man necessarily a fool or a scoun- there are people even in Boston who hope he will make a permanent stop when he reaches half the distance. MB. WHITNEY says, “16 the silver men carry the next na- WASTED ADMIRATION. Woman (snappishiy) —" Well, what do you want ‘ Haxnsome Harry (stcetly, almost piously)—"Ah, mum 1 stopped ter. admire dat remarkable child uv yours. If T ever seen a perfect picter uv Na- poleon Bonyparte in his prime it’s dat kid—same shaped head, same nose. eves an‘ mout’, De only difference is, de kid's glance is a trifle more piercin’ dan Hony’s wuz.” “drel because he has to occupy the chair? Would any lawyer dare to insult a witness outside as he does inside of the court-room? If a wit ‘ness resents the impudence of these tional Democratic convention it will split the party in two." Yes, in- deed; and if they don’t carry it, too, Mr. Whitney. Til unchain my bull-dog.” S WE have said, Mr. Bunnell of the Dansville Advertiser is very thin. Sometimes when he looks ardiind for himself he finds that he has inadvertently gone away. [7 IS URGED that ladies must not ride the bicycle because itis ridden by women of bad character. Very well; ladies must not eat, drink or sleep, because those things are done by bad women too. THE EDITOR of the Chicago Times- Herald wants every ex-president to get twenty-five thousand dollars a year. Well now, wouldn't it be cheaper and more generous ta elect our presidents for life? MB: MOODY told a Buffato reporter that Jonah was swallowed by a whale, We do not wish to quéstion Mr. Moody's veracity, but is it not remarkable that this curious fact has not got into print before? HE LADY of Montana who ran for attorney-general, was defeated and married her successful competitor, is triumphant in her defeat, for, behold you, the man will do the work and she will have most of the salary. Woman—"" I never saw that boy before in my life. lawyers is he guilty of more con- tempt of court than the lawyers are? Some of those nagging. bad- gering professors of legal impertinence ought to have their noses squeezed and lengthened. THE LION AS’ A WATCH-DOG. A PET LION in a Bridgeport family tore off the breeches of a burglar, who was so frightened by the animal that he jumped through a win- dow, taking. the sash with him, "At the opening of the rebellion Artemus Ward told of. a southern town that proposed to confiscate a traveling cir- cus. During the proceeditigs the animals got-loose, and the last scene of the last confiscator showed “him. just ahead of a ferocious and rapid lion, with a white rag fluttering from his pantaluon$, “1 guess,” said Artemus, speaking of the lion, “I guess they didn’t confisticate him much.” THE GREAT PROBLEM. GRADUATE OF VASSAR discussed the labor question at great length ‘The new woman evidently intends to devote herself largely to statesmanship; and if she can discover the proper legislation to secure the rights of both capitaland labor she may take her place in legislature or congress without any material opposition. Men have failed to create the desired harmony, and the matter is a worse muddle than ever before. It looks simple. It may require ingenuity rather than breadth of thought. Let this woman succeed and heaven and the world will bless her three times a day world without end. If you don't. move on comicbooks.com