Judge, 1895-06-29 · page 7 of 17
Judge — June 29, 1895 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several unrelated satirical pieces typical of Judge's format: **"The Goddess of Reform"** depicts a domestic dispute where a wife refuses to accept her husband's excuses for working late. She rejects each explanation until he offers her fifty dollars for shopping—satirizing how materialism can resolve marital conflict and undermine reform-minded principles. **"Two—Company; Three—A Crowd"** presents a child's literal interpretation of religious teaching. A girl finds it awkward that God accompanies her everywhere like an invisible third party, asking Him to stop "tagging after" her—humor derived from the innocent misunderstanding of theological concepts by children. **Additional brief comic pieces** include jokes about literary plots, a suitor discovering his rival is the woman's father (who approves the match), and a man giving up his seat to avoid a draught—all relying on wordplay or ironic twists. The bottom illustration appears to show a baseball/sports scene, though details are unclear. The satire throughout targets ordinary domestic life, religious instruction, and social conventions rather than specific political figures or events.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
‘Me man hasn't touched a drap fer a wake,” : - eh ae Samay —"* Why don’t yer go up an’ tackle that “Vis; Oi heard thot Casey had shtopped his I’m only a little girl—you please wait till I'm Yall ter it (Then the fight began.) THE GODDESS OF REFORM. S*P)ON'T tell me that you're at the office every night till twelve o'clock,” sobbed the young wife hysterically. “But, my dear "— said the young husband, racking his so- called brain and wishing the in- ventive lobe thereof were as fertile as Edison's, “Don’t but me, sir!" she in- terrupted. “But really” “Don't really me!” “But will you ™ “No, I won't Then won't you "—— No!” My dear, wouldn't you "—— “No, | wouldn't!” ——" like to do a little shopping to-morrow with this fifty dollars?” The sobs ceased, silence suc- ceeded, and the star-eyed goddess of reform was herself ag WO wrongs never made half a right. Suage TWO—COMPANY; THREE—A CROWD. +¢MAMMA.” said Marjorie one day, “my Sunday-school teacher says that wher- ever I go God goes too. Does she mean that when I go to the: candy-store God goes along too, same as Bounce ?” “Why, yes,” I answered, feeling sure there were breakers ahead. “When me and Bounce go in Gracie’s to play, does God go in there too?” « Always. Why, dear?” “ Nothing,” replied Marjorie wearily. ‘That night the child.remained kneeling after her usual prayer, “ Dear God,” she said with a ring of impa- tience in the childish voice,“ please don’t tag after me any more. I can't seem to get used to it. I don’t mind having Bounce along, ‘cause he is my dog and takes care of me; but you— ; : beau o' yer sister's fer a half ter git some fire- grown up! Amen. crackers?" Tommy—* It won't work now. She's accepted him.” LOTS OF IT. + HAVE you read Dumley’s new book ?” “Yes; he calls it ‘On the Lawn.” “ What kind of a plot has ANOTHER MAN. GITE refused me! Vd hoped I had won in the race. Tt rankled me, rather ; For there was another man in th- case— And that was her father, Her father said yes when I asked him. You see I'd asked if he'd any objection to me, A REASON FOR IT. Trévvet— Skidmore gave his seat in the street-car to a lady this morning.” Diter—* Oh, come now; don’t impose on my credulity.” s Trivuet—" I's a fact. He told —"' Why, goodness me. Ike!.if thet's ther best fit yer could g* me afterward that there was a hole yer had done better by buyin’ yer clothes ter hum.” Son—* Thet's all yer know about it, ma. The Jew I bought ‘em of said. in the window back of him and he thet it war ther correct style now.” was afraid of the draught.” 2. MOW THY BLACKVILLES NRW PLAVEK DECEIVED THE DAKKEYTOWN CATCHER. —ober, yo’ amachewer playah !* comicbooks.com