Judge, 1895-06-29 · page 3 of 17
Judge — June 29, 1895 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page contains several brief comedic sketches and jokes typical of Judge's satirical format: **"Very Much Alike"** mocks class pretension—an employer asks if a job applicant can write, learning the man's son signs his name "Dennis Donovan Gillhooly" rather than his actual Irish name, suggesting false gentility. **"Had Experienced It"** is a simple joke about an insurance agent being "shunned" by those who recognize him as a professional pest. **"An Example in Subtraction"** satirizes an Irishman hauling water, using dialect humor and a counting joke about water loads. The remaining pieces—"Possession," "A Gentle Hint," "Her Choice," and "Called Down"—are brief domestic or social humor sketches with accompanying illustrations, typical of the magazine's light satirical approach to everyday life and social interactions.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Suage VERY MUCH ALIKE. Employer —" Could you write your signature to this paper, Brian?” Brian—" Whin enny wan asks me fer me signachure Oi jist makes a wheel wid round corners, an’ thot's ‘nough fer ‘em.” Employer—"Can your son write, or does he do like you ?” Brian —* Me son wroites his name, Dennis Donovan Gillhooly, Brian?” read aithe than rich, Copyright by B. J. Fath, 183. JUDGE'S FAVORITES. BLANCHE WALSH AS “*TRILBY.” Brava! to thee, our New York girl, Shining amidst the mene whiek From girlih aruessness to art Rising with each successive part. To what you are, add what you will be, ‘And, lo! ‘quite ideal Trilby. HAD EXPERIENCED IT. Tramp—“Do you know what it is, sir, to be shunned by all; to not have the grasp of a single friendly hand?” Stranger—" Indeed, | do. I'm a life-insurance agent.” ? EXCLUSIVE. Milicent —“ They say that Mrs. Bentonby is very exclusive.” Miriam (whom she snubs)—* Yes. I hear that some of her teeth even don’t move in the same set as the others.” A GENTLE HINT. BASHFUL SUITOR —"* May I kiss yo’ cheek?" ‘THe coy MAIDEN —"* Ef yo" do I'll scream.” THe BASHFUL SUITOR —"Oh, sho ™ ‘THE COY MAIDEN —"* Bat don't yo" dar’ to kiss me on de mouf, yo" hateful thing, so’s I kain’t scream.” jist iMlegant, but afther thot he’s jist loike me—so he is.” Employer —“1n what way, Brian —“ Faith, an’ he can't van wurrud av it, nor me T MAY be better to be born lucky All the same, it is mighty unlucky not to be born rich. this moment, dearest !" VERY LIKELY HE WON'T. He (who has just been accepted) —"* Never, never shall 1 forget SHE KNEW THEM. ** What will you do if you find both of your husbands in heaven?" “Oh, but [ won't find them there.” AN EXAMPLE IN SUBTRACTION. AN IRISHMAN was hauling water in barrels from a small river to supply the inhabitants of the village, which was not provided with water-works. As he halted at the top of the bank to give his team a “blow” before proceeding to peddle the water a gentleman of the inquisitive type rode up and, after passing the time of day, asked, “ How long have you been hauling water for the village, my good man?” “Tin years or more, sor,” was the simple reply. Ah! And how many loads do you make a day ?” From tin to fifteen, accardin’ to the weather, sor?” “Yes. Now I have one for you, Pat,” said the gentleman, laughing. “How much water have you hauled altogether?” The Irishman jerked his thumb in the direction of the river, at the same time giving his team the hint to start, and replied, “All the wather that yez don't see there now, sor.” NaKOLD PAYNE. POSSESSION. RISELDA is a winsome maid, Possessed of many charms and graces. She's modest, sensible and staid, ‘And has the frankest of all faces. I tried my best to win her, for Her “* yes” of joy would be forerunner, But now, in sooth, I try no more — Because, for good and aye, I've won her! NATHAN M, LEVY. HER CHOICE, ‘+S BETWEEN Dick and Harry which do you like best?” " Jack.” “CALLED DOWN,”