Judge — June 15, 1895 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HER VIEW OF IT. Lam leaning o'er the rail, And my face is very pale. ‘Am I looking for a sail ? No, I'm not. I'm my father's only daughter Casting bread upon the water Ina way I hadn't oughter— And that's what! A HUSBAND’S LAMENT. HEN’ bonnets—Dutch—our wives did adopt At fashion’s unyielding behest, We thanked the kind fates in a frenzy of joy And thought that we truly were blest. But woe is on us poor, misguided men, With misery we are o'erfed ; For money saved by those butterfly hats Now goes to cure colds in the head. “BRIMSTONE AND TREACLE.” Effie—* We are all taking some Minnie —* What kind is it? ‘fie—" | don’t know the name of it exactly, but papa calls it (whisper) *bad-place an’ molasses.’ ” a J HE WAS RIGHT, uage HIS LATEST. Me. JOHN STETSON, “manager and publisher,” leaned back in his chair and dropped the fluff from his cigar. His vis-a- vis did the same. The third of the trio picked up the thread of the conversation. “It is a curious fact,” said he. vegetarian.” Mr. Stetson uttered an exclamation of surprise. “They say Wilson Barrett is a “A vegetarian?” he repeated doubtfully. “ You don’t mean it! Why, I had no idea he was so old as that.” A NEW JERSEY PRECEDENT. Chairman (of investigating committee)—" How do you justify the use of governmental funds for your private purposes” Official —" Custom, sir—long-established custom ; prevailing for many years.” Chairman—"And when did your immediate predecessor retire from office?” “Let me see; it must have been some twenty-five —— THE BOSTON BABY KICKS. Brownino Bean, jk.—"* My very dlear governess, I sincerely regret your inability to refrain from an unconstitutional exercise of your prerog- ative, and I desire to state succinctly that when my inclination is to ram- ble on the incoherent masses of granulated stone and nof to liquidate my drapery my determination is adequate and your threats and impor- tunities are absurd. Kindly remember there exists such a thing as in- dividual liberty.” URBAN SCENERY. Four of the most admired spots in America, ACCORDING TO SCIENCE. HERE was a man in our town (His name my memory slips) Who kissed ten thousand microbes Off his sweetheart’s ruby lips. And when he found what he had done, With all his might and main He rushed up there another night And kissed them on again. cw. A SACRED PROMISE, “No MRS. LAKEFRONT; I have no intention of getting a divorce this year.” “Why, Mrs. Wabash! What nas occurred to make you change your mind?” “Well, John doesn’t want to be released, and besides I have promised Ethel that she shall have the same papa until 1896." FRANKNESS OF OUR YOUNGEST. ++ ARE you going to stay all day?” * Why do you ask?” ‘Cause my mamma's going to be pretty busy, for when papa went away and she told him you were coming he said, ‘"Member an’ saw wood.’ A WESTERN VERDICT, ® (severely)—"* Now, sir, for the last time, what's the square of use of ar igled triangle equivalent to?” Coroner (of Woollytown, Arizona)—"' What is your verdict, gentlemen Boy (desperately) —"* It's equivalent to a lickin’ fer me, sir. of the jury, as to the deceased’s death ?” Go ahead.” Jury—" Thet he committed suicide by not drawin’ his gun in time.” comicbooks.com