Judge — June 1, 1895 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE EXODUS TO NEW MEXICO. *eVYVJHY, uncle!" said Colonel Jerkwater to Reverend Juniper Brisket; “what ails you and your people now in this move?” “It's laik dis, kurnel,” said the | \J Reverend Brisket. “ Yo" see, I done bin readin’ Darwin on de change in races, an’ we all's done got tired hangin’ roun’ "— “Well, why don't you go to work, then ?” said the colonel. —"hangin’ roun’ on teller- graf-poles an' apple-trees, 1 war fix gwine toe say,” calmly resumed the Reverend Brisket. “ Now, ‘cordin’ toe Darwin, yo’ kin see de results ob our race bein’ hung up so much sence de wah. De las’ ginerashun ob infants got necks t'ree inches longer dan normal—dat's whad de book say, kurnel; longer dan nor- = AN HUMBLE ADMIRER. mal—an’ we is slowly revertin’ toe de ‘riginal type, de black snake. UnsuccessFu AUTHOR—"* Jack;:your fame is spreading wonderfully. Only Now, kurnel, de cullud race doan’ want toe git no longer; dey wants this afternoon a friend of mine asked:me-to try and secure your autograph for him.” toe git broader—ain’ dat so?—an' I guess we got mo’ room toe spread SUCCESSFUL AUTHOR sure, Tom ; : sum'tes else.” glad to oblige him. Who is it 5 behets , = . oe Ussuccessrut av- E en And the Reverend Juniper winked humorously ani THOR—"* Isaacstein, the looked up the road for the train, note-broker. He. wants it on the back of my note," INFERENCE. 6 ¢\OTHER,” said M little Tommy, “was Samson a foot- ball player?" “No, dear. What made you think’ he was?” ‘Cause he wasn't any good after he got his hair cut.”” A ROMANCER. “Yes, young feller; I'm a graduate uv Vale college, 1 am, an’ yer kin lay'ter dat. I wuz stroke-oar uv de 'var- OBBY doesn’t use sity crew fer four years, an’ yer kin lay ter dat too. After dat I it ‘chig Wozcaptin uv de N’ York Giants fer quite er while before I went @ nail to repair his ter Englan’ an’ won de Derby six er seven times, 1 did.” suspenders with, as his SMALL BoY—" What are you now, si father does. He takes Weary Wracs—" Why, jist at present I'm Bill Bones, come ‘ il back ter life agin, wot use ter be mate under ol’ Flint de pirate a slate-pencil or a king, an’ yer kin lay ter dat. Jist swipe me a piece uv pie out uv match. yer mother's pantry an’ I'll let yer watch me lay ter dat.” PHOTOGRAPHY IN AFRICA, ANOTHER MRS. PART- INGTON. HE said her son was in the war And for his country ** fit,” Till in a**squirmish" both his legs Were by a bullet hit. And when the captain found it out (He'd known him on a ranch) He had him carried off the field Upon an “avalanche.” NELEN W. cRovE, LAPSUS MEMORIAS. War - veteran —"Yes, my friends, as I was a-sayin’—when I fell,-pierced by the enemy's bullet" Chorus of listeners — But you said: it was.a hand-to-hand encounter with bayonets.”* War-veleran—"So | did! Soldid! My memory’s gittin’ awful treacherous lately. It was my friend that was shot at An- tietam; and I who fell, pierced Uncie Brsjamin—" No, I's neber bin struck by by @ bayonet-thrust, later in the lightnin’, but I's powerful skeered ob it dough.” day. comicbooks.com