Judge — May 11, 1895 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

306 INEXCUSABLE, Mrs, Sunuxn A FINE TONIC, SOLDIER of the legion Lay dying at Algiers, When a comrade stopped beside him With a platter full of beers. Ile reached out quickly for them And swallowed cig! Then lit right out for Bi Fair Bingen on the Rhine, wef. LaMrroN, THE WORST OF IT. Benedict —" Are you at Oldbach (firmly) —" No the worst of it.” Benedict "Nn?" Oldbach —"V'im going to ve next week.” ried man?” ind thatisn’t E KNEW THE DIFFER Did you ever kiss a man before, darling?” “Oh, no; only dudes.” You are becoming awfully vulgar, Reginald. ‘The idea of your not taking off your hat to the Stuyvesants !" Ta = ‘4 Sudge BISMARCK AT A DISCOUNT.: FIRED by the tong accounts so lately. read ) Of birthday honors heaped on Bismarck’s head, I seized a smiling Teuton by the hand, “ Weigates?” [ eried, ‘‘von Bismarck, ~ vaterland. Think of “that army, dragoon, Uhlan, Yager !” ** Dot's all righd,” he said ; some lager.” The grand old iron chancellor I praised Until that German looked on me amazed, $% ** United Germany beneath his hand High in the scroll of nations took her stand. "Twas Dismarck’s genius put her in such oo ease. WI) “Ish dot so? Yost pass dot Switzerkase.” “+ Base ingrate ! hast no patriotic pride In that fair land where heroes bled and died— ‘The land of song and art beyond the sea?" *Younk man,” he said, ‘you vhas mistook in me, I vhas a Yankee porn"—my senses reeled— “ Undt Bismarck undt der Dutch vhas oush k spield.” FAULT OF THE COUNTRY, MAR8JORIE'S utter inability to correctly name‘ colors often furnishes amuse- ment. A recently-landed Irish girl, with hair so vividly red that it distracted my at- tention from matters in hand, applied fora position in my household. Marjorie eyed her gravely several moments and then cried in shrill, decisive tones, “No, no, mamma! Not her — no, no! She has green hair, and I don’t seem to care for green hair.” The angry blood rose to the girl's temples as she quickly answered, “Oill not be takin’ the place, mum ! Oi've bin called ‘ grane’ ivery day since Oi landed, but Oi niver knew till now ‘twas me hair they mint. Shure, ’tis a foine counthry this, where they doan’t know rid whin they sees it.” BYE S > & , EEE! mabipneity 7 BY PROXY. THE PENALTY OF MATRIMONIAL REBELLION, [F AUGUT you're anxious to forget— 1. This is the man who got his beard shaved off Some memory that hovers o'er you, Za _ because his wife said she'd never speak to him again if Just tell it to a woman friend ; he did, ‘She kindly will forget it for you. KNEW THEM, THERE was plenty of standing-room in a Broadway car, and as I was packed like a sardine on the platform, I said to the con- ductor, . “Won't you ask those people to move forward ?” “Faith, thin,an’ I won't,” id he with great frankness. i ———— ——— ; | ii Kuti AAW Q Than Bayz 9A wave “They're yer own six, an’ I at i My Ml mi can do noting wid ‘em.” HI ; tli Hida) AT WORK ONCE i ” MORE. Strawber—" You know Spicer, who has been out of a job so long. I hear he has something at last.” Singerly—" What is he doing >" Strawher—" Running 7“ 2. This is the man, next day, requesting his barber te shave off an employment agency.” what is left on his head. ly retu forefatt well, b washed kept th score. bottle o ury ago the end ed int to brev brew be tion of A pai for the Sons, H BEARI THIS NAME ARE T Bes: Pairs ma fe A coco log an Propert delicate comicbooks.com