Judge — May 4, 1895 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ude. W. J. Ameett. aro GILLAM, LM. Gi + Editor. PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITRD STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. One copy, one year. or s2 numbers - $5.00 One copy, six months, or 26 numbers - 2.50 One copy. for thirteen weeks - res ing the Cuxistaas Jvoce. +OKEIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all foreign countries in the postal union, $0.00 0 year. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (JupcE BuILDING), Corner Fifth Avenue and Sixteenth Street, New York. CR THE PUBLISHERS of the New York weekly JUDGE notify the public that the use of JUDGE in local advertising schemes by printing and inserting advertising pages between ite leaves is a direct ion of the publithers’ rights under the copy- right law, and all copies of JUDGE are sold upom the express condition that they will not be used for such purports, No one it authorized by, the publishers to use JUDGE in this ver. and they will take prompt measures (0 stop anybody from so using their paper. hereby given that the United States cirewit court has recently granted an junction restraining the use of JUDGE in that way. JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY, 110 Fifth avenue, New York. $97 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Juoce are protected by copy- right in both the United States and Great Britain, Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted, AT THIS WRITING no man is a hero to his truckman, . WEDEN and Norway will pres- ently be known as the unheav- enly twins. CAPTURED OFF MONTAUK WEIGHT 40, Admission HE NEW WOMAN may not want to raise a mustache, but she scorns tweezers. cee HE DEMOCRATIC PARTY has so much of a past that it can never have a future. ee FREQUENT REMARK of the governor of Arkansas—" Don't shoot! I'm out of spit.” THE WOMAN with a melancholy past is never so happy as when she weeps and talks about it. . THERE IS ONE good thing about the income-tax. The congress that made it is dead. ‘THE NEW MAYOR of Chicago is an Ohio man, We had sus- pected this from the way he run. SCIENTIST says he is con- vinced that the Keely motor has a future. Why, certainly, It has had one for the last twenty years. Farmer Waynack—* Let's go i future king of England for only ten cent: ATTL GETS twelve thousand dollars for singing six consecutive nights in London, However this lady's voice may give out, there is no danger as to her pocket-book. MBS: DON CAMERON in objecting to the nomination of her husband for president reflects Republican opinion so thoroughly that she ought to be very popular herself. AUTHORITY says there are sixty thousand opium-smokers in Chicago; but we must remember that it is a Chicago authority and is naturally given to large figures. PLAYING BILLIARDS on Sunday having been lifted out of the list of crimes, perhaps the time will come when a man can kiss his wife on that day without going to jail for it. . ee THE SUPREME COURT leaves the income-tax an inarticulated skele- ton, There is nothing left of it but its most objectionable bones, and the next congress ought to bury them. The Astors escape and the man of business is taxed for the crime of enterprise. It is a tax to make the rich richer, the well-to-do poor, and the poor poorer. A DECAYING POTENTATE, Mxs. WaYBACK—"" No, Josh. I'm a Yankee, and if the prince looks any- thing like he smells I don’t wonder there's distress in England.” NO FOREIGN RULE HERE! HIS GOVERNMENT would have no choice of action in case England made unjust war on Venezuela. There would be only one thing to do. It would obey the command of the people and take sides with the republic, That is not jingoism, but ordinary protection. And if our good cousins do not understand this situation they lack very valuable informa tion, “GOOD-BYE.” HE LAST NUMBER of Mr. Astor's Pall Mall Budget opens with a full-page picture of a lady, with her face turned lingeringly back, passing out of an open door. It is called “Good-bye.” Mr. Astor says the Budget was bought for and mostly managed by his wife, and intimates that the death of the paper is a result of the death of the wife; so that the picture has a double and a pathetic meaning. THE MONOTONOUS COUNTENANCE, THE DAILIES reproduce pictures of great men too frequently. It is tiresome. One doesn’t like to look at great men as a regular busi- One tires of Bismarck when one sees him in six different attitudes for six consecutive days, and when one remembers that he has seen the pictures a thousand times before one is badly fatigued. They say the prince wept recently in memory of his old master, but it was significant that he wiped his eyes with an illuminated American newspaper. GALLANTRY IN LAW. FORTY-EIGHT WOMEN were recently graduated as lawyers in this town. We beg, therefore, that the disposition for quarreling be cul- tivated as fast as possible. It has been said that there are too many male lawyers, but it must never be remarked that there are too many of the other kind. Will somebody hit somebody else with a club? Shall we not have more disputes over last wills and testaments? Will the av- erage cashier help the new lawyers ness. out of their emergencies? Let us see to this at once. THE FATAL POCKET. KATE FIELD has discovered that a man fully dressed is surrounded by nineteen pockets. It is a great question how women get along with no pockets, but they are much better off than if they have one. That pocket is so situ- ated that they lose everything they put in it. We know of one lady who has lost a purse from that pocket once every three weeks, and glasses and hairpins and tickets ga- lore. It is clear that women were not born for pockets. That is a part of their lamentable incapacity. Give a woman three pockets and she will die of regret and anxiety in three weeks. nda, Only think of seeing the THE DESERTED HELPMEET. HE NATURE of Phoebe Couzins is kindly and gentle, and it is the more strange for that reason that all the rest of the world disagrees with her. Her quarrels have been so numerous and so loud that it is painful to recall them; but she must be gratified with the fact that she has always been right and all her opponents have been wrong. Doubtless Mr. Fair's chief regret in dying was that he couldn't take her along. He must have felt that if there were to be any trouble on the long journey she would argue him through, and herself as well. THE JOYS OF UNREST. HOSE FAMILIES that move every year ought not to suffer from indigestion or die of dyspepsia. Theirs is an active life from May to May. It takes them six months to get settled, and by that time it is nec- essary to look up another house and make gradual preparation for the annual departure. Meantime there is the pleasing expectation of change and disturbance, which really never leaves them, ‘They escape nervous- ness because they have got used to the causes of it, They ought to be as happy as gypsies and as sound in health as if they had never seen a doc- tor. And it must seem strange to them when they are dead to stay in one apartment as the years go on. comicbooks.com