Judge — April 27, 1895 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

274 Suage TOO GOOD BY FAR. WE HEAR and read of many mea Whose honor is like flint ; But I know a man so honest That he never took a hint. PREPARING FOR HOUSEKEEPING. Mistress (to colored cook,who is about to leave to be married) — “Now then, Cynthia, where ‘s surrianien: that large earthen - ware tea-pot ?” Cynthia —* Well, ma’am, I done set dat dah earfen: ah tea-pot out on de fiah-escape de uddah day, chuck full ob tea, fo’ to make ice’-tea; an’ de win’ come along an’ done blowed it away ; right ‘fo’ my face an’ eyes.” Mistress —" Nonsense, Cynthia! What kind of a story is that for you to tell? I suppose you'll say that stone crock of pickled peppers blew away too. The idea of iced-tea, any way, at this season of the year!" Cynthia —" Well, ma’am, I'se powahful fon’ ob ice’-tea any time, I is; an’ I'se powahful fon’ ob pickle’ peppahs too; an’ yo’ done tole me I mout eat all I + JONES. vIpN'T W Carpi (at club window)— sweeper and tell him to let the mud stay on that crossing for a couple of hours.” wanted ob ‘em; an’ aftah I done eat de las’ ob dose peppahs 1 nebbah see no mo’ ob de crock.” Mistress —" Open your trunk, Cynthia, and we'll have a look for windfalls.” (Cyn- thia opens her trunk with apparent alacrity.) —"Why, you wicked girl! There’s the tea- pot and the crock.” Qnthia —"No, ma'am! No, ma'am! Dat dah tea-pot_ my ole missy done gib me jes’ aftah de wah! Deed she did! I'se done toted it roun’ wid meebbah sence. ‘Deed Thas! But (reflective- ly) how in de wohld dat dah stone crock done got inter dat trunk 's mo’ ‘n I knows !" MADRLINE ORVIS. ale - AN AFFRONT. Reverend Goopsan —"* Why are you sobbing, my boy ?” SMALL Boy—"* ‘Cause I'm ten years old termorter, an’ fadder prom- ised me a pair uv long pants.” Revexend GoobMAn—‘* But why these idle tears ?” jov—"* ‘Cause mudder says dat times is so bad she's goin’ t’ pair uv me sister's bloomers fer me.” IMPORTANT APPEARANCES. Essie — My dolly is better dressed than yours.” Ethel —*\ don't care to have my dolly so very finely dressed ; it makes me appear like a nurse.” TIMES MUST BE IMPROVING. Sap the sad, morbid man, ‘* What a pity! I thought that you surely would die When they took you away to the city That tough operation to try ; But in asthma or in meningitis cut down We to desperate remedies fly.” “ "Twas a case of appendicitis,” Said the invalid with a sigh. Said the sad man, ‘I thought it bron- chitis, ANT HIS SHOW SPOILED. For everything 's getting so high.” Heah, waiter ; go out and give this dollar to that AT we gis Sith. Ferry A SAVING. **It am sometimes mo’ economical ter hab one leg dan two." ** Please gib dis ole darkey er ferry-ticket fer one, sah.”