Judge — April 20, 1895 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

254 2 AN UNSUCCESSFUL ERRAND. HEN he entered the sanctum he endeavored to ingratiate himself in the editor's good graces by observing, “I didn’t bring any spring poetry.” Encouraged by the smile with which the editor received this announcement, the visitor proceeded, “My wife and daughters think your paper-is the very best in the world.” The editor modestly admitted that the visitor's wife and daughters were right. ™ The fact is,” the caller went on, * they couldn't do with- out it, What it says is law and gospel to them, and they would as soon think of disobeying the whole ten command- ments at once as refusing to accept as ultimate truth what- ever it may say on the subject of feminine attire.” . The editor candidly acknowledged that the publication - enjoyed an enviable reputation for the accuracy of its fashion information, and ventured to ask if anything could be done in behalf of the caller. “ Well, yes,” he replied as he shifted uneasily in his chair. “T called to see if I could make it an object with you to print THE CYCLIST’S SONG. ee EL —Beautiful spring ! OBESITY AT A DISCOUNT. Ture Lux (disgustedly)—"* You is a star fer luck, you is! De lengt'iest an’ flower- iest kind uv a ‘spel’ I gives a lady nowerdays only gits me de chase.” Cuicken-peeasteD Ike—"* Luck ! 1 ! Ver off dere, par yer tink dat wen I draws in meself like dis ter a lady dat she kin b'lieve anyt'ing else but dat I'm starvin’? Nixey!" - something to the effect that it will not be stylish: nis year to wear new bonnets on Easter Sunday, and that no woman in the highest circles of society would think of putting on a new gown for the first time on that day.” The caller took out a pocket-book, and as he opened it he proceeded, “T would like it put in a prominent place. in fair-sized type, and if you could put it in stronger language I would like it better. For instance, you might say that it has come to be regarded as vulgar ostentation, or something of that sort, to make a parade of new garments and head- gear on Easter Sunday.” He fingered the bank - notes which his open pocket-book re- vealed, as he asked, What would it be worth to print something of this nature?” “My dear’ man,” replied the editor, “you are laboring under a great mistake when you insinuate that the dictum of this journal can be purchased. It is impossible to bribe me. Allow me to wish you good: morning.” The man rose from his chair with a crushed look. He went away exceedingly sorrowful, for he had seven daughters. WILLIAM Wexny stviTaR, VINDICTIVE, Mrs. Huspanp—"* Mother says she will be here to-morrow, What room shall | we give her?" Mx. HusBaxp—"t The one with the folding-bed in it.” As: beat a Mr dren ‘ gums, rhoea. It i ficult Dor of wir Inper An his th Bad Drin comicbooks.com