Judge, 1895-04-13 · page 10 of 16
Judge — April 13, 1895 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple brief satirical sketches typical of Judge magazine's humor: **"The Bottle Trick"** (top): Mr. Scrape, a cheapskate, suspends an empty bottle from his clothesline over a canal where coal barges pass, hoping boatmen will toss coal trying to knock it down. The joke satirizes penny-pinching schemes and exploitation of working people. **Other sketches** mock various social absurdities: a prison barber who's never cut hair; a dime-museum manager questioning paying for a bank thief as an attraction; schoolchildren tattling; and a "lonely wood society" where class divisions prevent social mixing even in small towns. **"At the Telephone"** satirizes the then-new telephone technology and dishonest businessmen ("Dunham & Cheatham") evading police. The overall tone ridicules human greed, pretension, social hypocrisy, and the emerging modern world. These are gentle, observational humor pieces rather than hard political satire—typical of Judge's middle-class audience appeal.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
It so happened that Mr. Scrape’s back-garden wall overlooked the canal ; and as coal-barges were continually passing. Mr. Scrape thought of a novel idea—suspending an empty bottle {rom the clothes-line. for the passing canal-me ably tried their skill. OUT OF IIIS LINE, Jattr (fo new prisoner) —“* Do you know any particular business 7” New prisoner — I've been the tonsorial artist for the swell students at Yale for the past two years" JaiLeR — “Ab-ha! you're just the man [ want. Tl s to cutting the prisoners’ hai NEW PRISONER — eat Scott, man! I never cut a man’s hair in my life.” THE SPRING FOOL, HIS obseauies. 1 Took place this afternoon. He had a lovely overcoat, But left it off t00 soon, STARTLING, Manager (of dime-museum) —*No, I don’t see it at all You had no business to pay five thousand dollars for a bank- cashier just because he stole a billion, Advance agent —" But, heav- ens and earth, man! he had only cone wife, and was not generally respected.” rieve to note, Scnoor-vistrox — ScHOOL-VistroK —" 1 Boy nuamer on Which tempting morsel, as Mr. Scrape had anticipated, was too much n, who invari- fect harvest, ‘This in a short time proved a pers And Mr. Scrape no longer had to pay for his coal, IN GOTHAM. Uncle Forecorners (who has just returned from a visit to New York)—* Down ter yer cousin Tiptop’s they hev a little pair o' silver tongs ter pick up the sugar with ef yer fingers are dirty.” AT THE TELE- PHONE. ssLTELLO!” H® Iello!” Put me on to the firm of Dunham & Cheat- ham, number three Ball street.” “Too late! The po- lice got on to them this morning.” LONELY WOOD SOCIETY. Miss Townsend— “You live at Lonelywood. Do you know the Misses Brownkin? They live there too.” Miss Subbubs (confi- dentially) “No. You know they don’t go in on our train.” HAVING GREATNESS THRUST aR Mr. Eptror— : “As you returned my poem entitled * The Maiden’s Prayer,” because it was written upon both sides of a sheet of paper, t have taken pains to write it entirely upon one side of the sheet, anil trust that it will now be found satisfactory. * Sincerely, * Beatuice Burrercur.” un N HIM, Now then, boy number one. who wrote * Macbeth’ ?” know you didn’t Moy NemueK Ok (trembling violentir)—" Please, sir, J didn't.” but who did?” vith a spasm of virtue)—"* Please, sir, I don't wanter be a telltale, but it wuz Bob Buster, over in de corner seat. 1 seen him a-doin’ of it,” In spite powns will Bonnets st they are si hanging de no wear bla At For cou: jon, take Pal Mis. su If you Riche Now.is EVA comicbooks.com