Judge — March 30, 1895 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

is Baxnwaro Giitas. 'M. Guncony, Sditor. PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBE UNITED STATES AND CANADA IM ADVANCE copy, one year, or s2 numbers - $5.00 One copy, six months, or 26 numbers = 2.30 One copy: for thirteen weeks - 135 Incliding the Curistas Juoce. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS-To alt foreign countries in the postal union, $6.00 year. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (Jupce BurpiNs), Corner Fifth Avenue and Sixteenth Street, New York, GB THE FUBLISHERS of the New York weekly JUDGE notify the public that the wse of JUDGE im local advertising schemes by printing and inserting advertising pages between its leaves it a direct vielation of the publishers’ rights under the copy: right law, and all copies of JUDGE are sold upon the express condition that they will not be used for such purpotes. No one is authorized by the publishers to use JUDGE in this rand they will take prompt measures to stop anybody from so using their paper. is hereby given that the United States circuit court has recently granted an action restraining the use of JUDGE in that way. JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY, 110 Fifth avenue, New York, £9 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Junce are protected by copy- eight in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. FATHER HOLMAN on his enforced retirement—* I object.” eee THE POISONING of prize dogs is doubtless a result of puppy jealousy. eee THINK of the sufferings of the lady who will some day be known as the grand old woman, eee WARNER MILLER had bet- ter be careful. Having dug up the hatchet, he is liable to cut off his own nose. see A FRENCH DUEL has resulted in the death of one man. We knew there would be an accident of this kind some day. WE BELIEVE Li Hung Chang ‘was cut out for peace pur- poses, and in that respect China will stand by him to the last man. ee ENATOR HILL says he has never yet run from a fight; but then, like the president, he may have occasionally furnished a -sub- stitute. eee WE HEAR of persons homely enough to stop a clock; but the last congress was ugly enough to stop the machinery of the entire country. company.” Dewey Eave—"* Yer don't say! Nex’ act dere’s an elopement, end engineer is crushed under de engine eee THE SULTAN has sent the kai- ser a Damascus blade. We hope it isn’t the one that for some time was suspended over the sultan by a single hair. wuz him, ancores.’ THE WOMAN'S LEAGUE of this town have-decided by ballot that men are more just than women; and yet they say that women are not competent to vote intelligently. THE NEW GOVERNOR of Delaware is said to be unable to read or write. If Waite of Colorado had.been equally unfortunate he might have been re-elected as a great man THE JAPANESE say they are going right on with their killing and other powers must not interfere; but we suspect the other powers will be in at the death and take the main charge of the funeral. R. HOWELLS will hereafter give his autograph to no one who hasn't read at least one of his books Mr. Howells has business as well as literary ability. It is thought that there are five million autograph-hunters in this country alone, and think what a boon this new resolution will be to his publishers and to himself. TOO MUCH HANGING. Dewey Eave—"* Where yer bin fer de las’ month, pard ?” z Brake O'Day—"' I've bin travelin’ wid de ‘Power uv Love’ teatrical Wot part did yer act?” Brake O'Day—"' Well, in de fust act dere’s a love-scene, endin’ in.a prize- fight, in which one uv de principals is killed by a blow on de jaw. na gran’ railroad wreck, in which de noble I wuz him. lered by a gran’ steeple-chase, in which de favorite falls an’ kills his jockey. I ‘Las’ act, reconciliation an’ gran’ lynchin’-scene. dat too, but in jay towns dey wanted ter ring up de curtain ‘bout six.times fer DECEPTIVE FOAM. HE CHURCH SALOON established by Bishop Fallows in Chicago sells drinks that are a close imitation in appearance of intoxicants, but lack the inspiration of alcohol. It seemed on one occasion to be very successful, but it transpired directly that the alcohol had been surrepti- tiously introduced by some mean person. Perhaps here is a good hint for Dr. Rainsford, who proposes a similar experiment here. PERFIDIOUS FRANCE. HE BOYCOTT by France of American meats fills us with apprehen- sion as to the safety of the French government. No government that does that sort of thing can last long; and we are half inclined to think that the services of Lafayette to this country a hundred years ago have been overrated. The sudden worship of the memory of Washington by the French nobility is gratifying, but the boycotting of American meats bodes evil to two great republics. BABEL AT THE CAPITAL. HE DAUGHTERS OF THE REVOLUTION who met in Wash- ington recently were at times as much excited as if more tea had been thrown into Boston harbor and a new battle of Lexington was about to be fought. “Is this a congress of daughters or the tower of Babel?” shrieked one daughter, and another daughter cried out, “Neither; it’s a mob.” And yet they say that women would not be able to hold their own in the senate of the United States. THE MATHER WITH O'CONNOR. STATE SENATOR O'CON- NOR speaks of the newspaper representatives at Albany as “men who are permitted to enjoy our courtesy,” and refers to one of them as “one Mr. Mather.” This man had better remove his feath- ers, his airs and his yellow jacket. The newspaper-men are as ‘good as he is. and they represent more men than all of his constituents or the constituents of all the members of the senate put together. What has Mr. O'Connor done with his com- mon sense? A LIVER GONE WRONG. . ‘| THINK," says the Rev. H.W. Smith, a Universalist preach- er of Massachusetts, “that when a rich man hears that a number of people have been killed in a mine he rejoices.” Again he says that the time will come when men will go out hunting for rich men as they now hunt for squirrels. Finally he says, “The republic is a delusion, freedom a dream, and the song of liberty a funeral dirge.” Something must be done for this man. Will he take medicine or shall he be made an editor of the Evening Post? THE WAY TO WEEP. LEARN from the woman's page of a daily newspaper that a woman should never*cry in-an Eton jacket, because that garment “expresses pertness, up-to-dateness, liveliness,” etc. These little sugges- tions as to propriety show much thought and the profoundest respect for poetic harmony. Perhaps for the present the crying had better be done in a large sponge; and meanwhile a garment must be invented for the purpose, to be attended with an automatic powder-box to relieve the red- nesseof the grief-stricken nose. CHURCH TOLERANCE. THE RELIGIOUS MOB has become too numerous and combative. In several towns the Polish Jew has succeeded in practically wreck- ing his own church, his own pastor and his own conscience; and in Sa- vannah not long since a howling assemblage of religious law-breakers prevented a lecture by an ex-priest who proposed to talk against their church. We trust the time is not coming when the pulpit and the plat- form will have to do business under the protection of the police. That would be a libel on every church in this world. 1 wuz him. Nex’ act de marriage, fol- I could er stood comicbooks.com