Judge, 1895-03-09 · page 10 of 16
Judge — March 9, 1895 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from **Judge** magazine contains several humorous pieces satirizing late 19th/early 20th-century American life: **"A Good Word for a Bad Habit"** mocks the then-common social practice of snuff-taking (powdered tobacco inhaled through the nose). The poem celebrates a man who, though poor, was socially accepted because his expensive snuff boxes and theatrical sneezing fits made him the center of attention at gatherings. The satire targets both the absurdity of the habit and how it conferred undeserved social status. **"Mercenary Wretch"** jokes about a corrupt lawyer who is unhappy his client won a case—he wanted to lose so he could appeal and earn more fees. **"A Change That Meant Something"** depicts a servant being offered a chair to sit on while waiting, suggesting improved treatment of servants (or mockingly suggesting it's an unusual courtesy). The other pieces are sentimental poetry and brief comic dialogues about marital dynamics and social etiquette. The illustrations are typical Judge-style satirical line drawings.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
154 uage “Vell, phy don’t ye gift me er light !" THE HAMMOCK THAT SWUNG IN THE PAST. AGAINST the clouds of memory two trees stand tall and high, ‘With arms outheld entreatingly before the glowing sky, To gather all the happiness of dreams fast floating by And hold them for the dreamers that beneath their shelter lie, For {rom those trees there used to hang. in long-gone childish days, ‘The hammock of our silent times, the hammock of our plays; ‘That swung and swayed to laughing heights and wild and romping ways, While all looked haply hazy in the sunlight’s reeling rays. Or else it rocked and wavered with a creaking, sleepy strain As dreams dropped from the shadows to a story-weaving brain, ‘Tall birds and bees about me sang a drowsy sweet refrain That slipped away upon a thought where slumber came to reign. from present time tll life is yet aglow. ih mists of thought and tears of years { see the long ago; For childish hours are brightest and the world I used to know ‘Was sweetest in the hammock old which swung me to and fro. TEDITH LIVINGSTON CRARY, A WOMAN'S REASON. Dorcas—“1 never knew any good come of keeping Lent.” Mrs. Dorcas —" Why, my dear, look at Mrs. Hillaire. She was cleaning a fish the other day and found a diamond ring in its inside.” MERCENARY WRETCH. Client —“ Well, did 1 make a good witnes: Lawyer —" Yes; between you and that stupid jury you knocked me out of a clean hundred.” Client — “Why, 1 won the case, didn’t 1?” Lawyer —* That's just the trouble. I wanted a chance to appeal.” A GOOD WORD FOR A BAD HABIT. THOUGH not as wise as many, he was always up to snuff ; You found him handy at a pinch in fort- une’s stern rebu! Though modest his equipment in the way of cash or clothes, It is strange how many people he has taken by the nose. He was never to be sneezed at as he met rude fort- une’s shocks, For at every entertainment he would always take a box; And his hearty sternutation as it musically rose Made his angry English neighbor shout aloud, “Oh, blow his nose !" His box was highly scented, he could fill it for a cent, And none might know how many tots filling yearly went; But how social grew the circle as he gently tapped the lid, And each neighbor ‘* took a leetle jest because his neighbor did.” Ah, those days of wily statesmen ne'er again to us will come, When fate and snuff were gently pinched twixt the finger and the thumb, ‘They'd point a moral, end a tale or turn to some good use And then inhale their Maccaboy and sneeze the shingles loose. WILLING TO OBLIGE. Mrs. Darley (pouting) —" You never sty to do anything for me, as you did when we were first married. Then you were happy to render any service in your power.” Mr. Darley —“1 don't see how you can charge me with neglect of your wishes, dear. When I heard you singing +I want to be an angel,’ yesterday, didn't I offer to drop everything and run for the doctor ?” A CHANGE THAT MEANT SOMETHING. SERVANT—** Mr. Softy ter see yer, Miss Alice.” Miss ALICR—"* Very well (handing servant chair), now show him up here.” Edwar Pous' * Las the seve began i throat a Pression accomp: remedies tinued ditions much m pares thought for cuts for any tity on chest. night, I pressior the fear passed. prised | pletene sprains effects mend w. chemis “1 and te my m chemic ing an injury nerves fault, | gether ria me . I comicbooks.com