Judge, 1895-03-02 · page 7 of 16
Judge — March 2, 1895 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces reflecting late 19th-century American concerns: **"Grandpop and Israel"**: A dialect story mocking patriotic hypocrisy. An old man lectures about duty to country while recalling how patriotic Harry enlisted after Bull Run, while opportunistic Hoke—who made speeches about patriotism—stayed home and profited making military supplies. The satire targets hollow nationalism and those who exploit patriotic sentiment for personal gain. **"His Reason"** and other brief comics: Light humor about dialect speech and Southern stereotypes (African American characters with exaggerated vernacular). **"Result of the Word Method"** and remaining items**: Gentle domestic humor about spelling instruction and children's behavior—standard magazine filler. The page's main satirical thrust critiques Civil War-era profiteering and the gap between proclaimed patriotism and actual conduct, a common Judge theme during Reconstruction.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
4¢¢YA-AS, Isrul,” said 4 Grandpop Ketch- / um as he pulled his mug of hard cider toward him and meditatively puffed . his black clay pipe ;**ya-as, wren yer sce them stars an’ stripes a-floatin’ over yer school-house yer wanter remember yer patri'tism an’ thet a man’s fust duty is ter his country. « Jes’ afore th’ war bruk out Harry Simson, thet wucked in our shop, uster allus hev a copy uv ‘Uncle Tom’s Cabin’ afore him, tryin’ ter read an’ weep an’ knock out bobbins at th’ same time, till fin'ly he got fired fer rustin’ th’ machinery with his tears. An’ Hoke Hodge—he wuz a red-headed wretch— said ‘twuz a shame t' fire a feller fer cryin’. He got Harry's job. “ Waz-al, w'en th’ call cum Harry's name wuz fust daown, an’ he went ter th’ front with a bible an’ a‘ Uncle Tom's Cabin’ an’ a hunk uv angel-cake thet his mother made a-packed inter his knapsack. Hoke he said he'd like ter take th’ trip too, but th’ war ‘d be over so quick ‘twan’t wuth while; but he HIS REASON. a : . . estaaey Paxson JouNson—"* Why, chile! wuz a great talker, so he uster go raoun’ makin’ speeches an’ hollerin’ an’, Pawson Jounson--~" Why: chile | de mos’ cur‘ous haid ob ha'r I ebber : seen.” THE WICKED SOMETIMES ESCAPE, Eruraim —"* I wuks in a feed-store now. pahson, an’ de oats hab taken root in mah hair.” askin’ th’ fellers ter stan’ by th’ ol’ flag, an’ whar wuz their patri’tism anyway? “We never heard uv. Harry arter Bull Run, but Hoke he fin'ly got th’ con- trac’ fer makin’ impervious:socks fer th’ soldier-boys, an’ arter th’ cruel war wuz over hg jes’ retired ter his stock-farm, “Ya-as, Isrul;_patri'tism an’ politics .is great things if yer only know how ter handle ‘em, an’ so is dynamite an’ prussic acid; an’ a man’s fust duty is toward his country, s‘long ‘s he don’t hev t’ shoot off nothin’ bat his mouth. “E{T'd jumped bounty.ez offen: ez Ted Hoskins did, thet arterward built th’ Hoskins block, I-wouldn’. hey ter send you out this very minnit ter git trusted fer two gallons uv hard cider.” * RESULT OF THE “WORD METHOD.” Mrs. Ward.(on Friday)—' Dear me, Richie ! it’s dreadful for you to be so NY behindhand with your spelling. Now see if you can spell * yesterday '?" Richie (with one eye on the calen- dar) = “ T-h-u-r-s yester, d-ay day, yesterday.” A KNOWN dan- ger is a guide- post to safety. CREDIT .TO WHOM,‘ ETC. ORGAN runs into the par- lor with hair brush- ed, clean collar, face and hands. Sister says, “Why, Mor- gant who dressed you so nicely 2” Tapping him- self on the breast AN ACCIDENT. with his fore-fin- Now don't be alarmed, Reggy, for the fall didn't 8¢f. “ Mother and hurt me one bit.” ditto.”