Judge, 1895-01-26 · page 10 of 16
Judge — January 26, 1895 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct satirical pieces: **"The Police Investigation"** mocks corrupt police officials during the Gilded Age. A police captain, questioned about his sudden wealth, offers absurdly implausible explanations: an ice-pond investment, a magic tree that grew money, catching silver dollars from a magician's act. The satire exposes how police brass accumulated fortunes through graft while providing laughably transparent cover stories to investigating committees. **"An Ingenious Idea"** depicts a homeless man faking a seizure outside a saloon to attract sympathy and free whiskey from the bartender—a commentary on urban poverty and exploitation. The phrase "best drink" suggests the man finds this survival strategy effective. **"Swallowing the Pill"** (bottom) shows a man grimacing while swallowing something, likely satirizing acceptance of unpleasant political or social realities, though context is unclear from this page alone. The cartoons reflect Progressive Era concerns about urban corruption, poverty, and moral compromise.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Futter Notutn'— ‘Gosh! I'm cold— but [ have an idea, — THE POLICE INVESTIGA- TION. Counsel (to police-captain on the and)—" Now, will you please tell the committee where you got the one hundred thousand dollars with which you bought that Fifth-avenue Captain —* Certaiily, In the fall of 1891 I got a straight up that the following summer would be the hottest in forty years; so | went up to Rock- land county and bought an ice-pond for wo bundred dollats. When I reckoned up accounts at the end of the summer of 1892 I found that 1 was just one hundred and two thousa dollars ahexd on the transaction.” Counsel —"And where did you get the two hundred and_ fifty thousand dollars which you paid for your stock farm?” “Oh, I got that easy AN INGENIOUS IDEA, —I'll lie down before this saloon an’ have a fit." “The bes’ drink I's had fer twenty years. ‘Valk about yer Edison — he ain't in it.” * Jake, get some hot whisky, quick !” make a fortune for anybody for one dollar, I sent in my dollar and received a small package of green seed, with directions about sowing it. 1 sowed it in my yard one evening, and when I woke up next morning I found a tree covered with greenbacks where the leaves ought to be. That.crop yielded me just six hundred and fifty thousand dollars. 1 paid five hundred thousand dollars of it for the houses and laid out the remaining one hundred: and fifty thousand on more seed. So, if 1 should happen to buy a few railroads or a couple of steamship ‘lines 1 hope this committee won't consider it néces- sary to go into my private affairs again. HE DID. Woopman — "I'm sorry, sur, but I'm ‘fraid [Il have to ask you to move away from here, as my boss has sent me to cut down th R. Case —** Oh, go ahead, my Il get out of the way betore she T've seen trees cut before.” mai falls, enough. One night I went toa variety theatre and saw a magician catch a lot of silver dollars in the air. After the performance [ made friends with him and finally induced him to let me into the secret catching two hundred and fifty thou- sand silver dollars, but | managed to do it in three months by working day and night.” 2 Counsel — Petbaps you obtained in the same way the half-million dol- lars which’ you paid for the block of apartment-houses in the annexed dis- trict 2” Captain —"No. Catching silver dollars was too slow, so T answered the advertisement of a man who offered to It was rather slow work SWALLOWING THE PILL. comicbooks.com