Judge, 1895-01-19 · page 3 of 16
Judge — January 19, 1895 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Judge Magazine Page 35 This page contains several unrelated satirical items typical of Judge magazine's format: **"Too Busy Talking"** and **"No Wonder"** are brief dialogue jokes about a teacher unable to grade papers due to constant interruptions, with a pun about a newspaper's "literary editor" being illiterate. **"Judge's Favorites"** is a complimentary poem about "Della Fox," likely a contemporary actress or performer. **"Her Photograph"** is a sentimental poem about a painted portrait. The multi-panel cartoon at bottom depicts a domestic scene with "Little Phinnie's Mistake," showing a child's misadventure while an adult guest visits, resulting in spilled lemonade and confusion. **"A New Beginner,"** "Can't Break Easy," and **"Might Save Fuel"** are brief humorous anecdotes about marital life, religious observance, and a smoke-consuming invention. These appear to be general-interest humor pieces rather than political satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
TOO BUSY TALKING. $6] DON'T believe that Mrs. Lease ever said any such thing.” “Why not?” “Well, I don’t think she’s had time.” - NO WONDER. Teacher (examining excuse) —"This is the worst scrawl I ever saw. I can make nothing out of it. Who wrote it?” “He's a very il- literate man, isn’t he?” Small boy—" You bet. He's literary editor of the Sguall.” Son (suspiciously)—"* Papa, Uncle Horace keeps say- ing ‘Dem it.’ Doesn't that mean d—n?" * FATHER—"* No, no, Willie. Your uncle's a Demo- FEATHERS from Cupid's crat, * Dem’ means Democracy, which doesn’t mean any- wings make very poor beds. thing.” JUDGE'S FAVORITES, DELLA FOX. Sunshine in the ringlets of your golden hair; Sunshine in your presence, Della ¢ebonair— ‘These are your distinctions, in whatever part, Shining through the vestments of your dainty art: So that when the season of "Little Trooper" ends You'll be still commander of a troop of friends, HER PHOTOGRAPH. YOUR portrait that the sun has made! Why, dear, a hundred years ago ‘A man had been awed and afraid To have his sweetheart pictured so. But I—I love you, dear, so much It seems a fitting thing to me An artist from the skies should touch Your features into harmony. How well, how skillfully, he drew ! I thought no hand but mine could trace With such a loving touch and true The charming witchery of your face. The sun sailed downward through the blue In countless fleets of golden ships For countless years to paint for you This tender smile upon your lips. A bundred million miles of blue Your artist journeyed down through space ; ; is A NEW BEGINNER. So would I journey up to you Youxe wire—"' When my husband gets cross I always threaten to go home to my mother." And find my sunshine in your face. Op wirk—" Mercy, child ! how simple you are! You should threaten to have your mother come FLORENCE MAY ALT, to you.” CAN’T BREAK EASY. se THEY say bass are bit- ing good,” soliloquized Lawyer Higgins one Sunday morning. “Guess I'll take my pole and go to see. I need recreation and rest A lady met him and said, “Doesn't this look like breaking the sabbath?” “The sabbath isn’t so rotten as all that; it doesn’t break so easy,” said Higgins as he walked on. MIGHT SAVE FUEL, St. Peter —" Well, who to are you?” Kon Newly-arrived shade— LITTLE PHINNIE’S MISTAKE, “I'm an inventor of a smoke- Mr. Temperance —“Ah, I'll just Mr. Temper. “Ab, thank recta ine consumer from St. Louis.” take a glass of this cold lemonade.” you, thank you, my dear boy. You have Five minutes afterward. when Phin Litre Pins atain’t lem- conferred an inestimable favor upon me THe was left in the room with Bib ik ote ee onade, Mr. Temperance ; it's whi in pointing out my mistake.” voanee you down below. Next! comicbooks.com