Judge, 1894-12-29 · page 4 of 17
Judge — December 29, 1894 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page 440: Satirical Sketches This page contains multiple unrelated satirical vignettes typical of Judge magazine's humor: **"Evolution of Grandma's Arm-Chair"**: An Irish immigrant mother's anxious monologue at a doctor's office, using heavy dialect comedy. She worries her baby was injured after falling down a fire escape into a stranger's arms, but is relieved when told the child is unharmed. The satire targets Irish immigrant speech patterns and anxious motherhood. **"A Rule That Works Both Ways"**: A racial joke playing on class hierarchies—a Black man is corrected for informal greeting ("Hello, cot") but points out a white man uses the same casual greeting with his father ("Hello, uncle"). **"Very Disappointing"**: A father regrets sending his son to college, expecting success but the boy became merely a Greek professor—satirizing either academic underachievement or the impracticality of classical education. Additional sketches mock rural/frontier types, literary pretension, and reckless youth behavior. The page is primarily humor-focused with minimal political content, relying on period stereotypes and social observation for comedy.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE EVOLUTION OF GRANDMA'S ARM-CHAIR AT THE DOCTOR'S DOOR. Mrs. Foy—" Arab! worra! worra! Docther, will ye luk at the babby an’ tell me is she hurted altogither or killed intoirely ? Oi'd a pair av silk han‘ker- chifs to do for a gintleman as is very particular, an’ me back not turned to her one blissid minnit whin she was out on the foire-eshcape afther me, an’ the hole, an’ fill onto th’ awning av th’ impidint Dutch grocery below (bad ‘cess t’ him, obsthructin’ th’ sidewark an’ foightin’ me Patsey iviry toime he’s a dhrop the worse for liquor!) an’ into the arrums av an entoire shtranger. “Praise be t’ th’ blissid saints, docther, that ye say she isn’t hurted at all, at all! an’ me a runnin’ wid her iviry inch av th’ way an’ her a shlapin’ as aisy as if she was in God's pocket, which Oi tought moight be owin’ t’ th’ drop av whisky an’ paregoric Oi gave her for her tayth. A RULE THAT WORKS BOTH WaYs. Cotowes, CarTeR—* What yo’ mean, sah, yo' black rascal, to say * Hello, cot 1.’ to me? Henry CLAY—"* Wha’ fo! yo’ jest say to my fadder, * Hello, uncle’? VERY DISAPPOINTING, * So ‘THE old man is disappointed in Charles?” “Yes; he sent him to college and thought he'd amount to ¢, but all they could make of him was a Greek professor.” JUDGMENTS. THE name of the talis- man of success is tact- ful courage. Duty is a stern mis- tress whom we may not love but must respect. Don't burn your bridge behind you, for you may be coming back. Not even an inner consciousness of divine favor can render us supe- Mr. Cuerkiey (of New York)— Well, Cousin Dick, what do you think of our Christmas.tree? Nothing lacking, is there? Cousin Dick (of Deadgulch)—"* Wa-al, cousin, seems t’ me ef yer only hada * 2 couple uv Injuns er hoss-thieves hangin’ on it, it ud look a leetle more homelike.” rior to calamity. JUDGE'S PHOTOGRAPHS. sarki piesoenae Picture of the woman who likes to . be told that she has more intellect than FOR THE NEW YEAR. SORRY HE ASKED. beauty. LEAVE yesterdays to their own dead ; Author —* How is it that you didn’t follow the uni- The present is, be comforted ! versal custom and turn over a new leaf?” To conquer self and circumstance Critic —" | happened to pick up your latest novel.” God gives us each another chance MARJORIE MooRR, LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP. Mn. Broapway —"'Let's climb up that hay: ak eae the other side like: we: used: to Born —* Won't it be jolly fun, though ?° (But it wasn't, for reasons unnecessary to mention.) Mk. BLEECKER ~"* Good, I'll go you.” comicbooks.com