Judge — December 29, 1894 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

W. J, Ament. axmano GILLAs. T. M. Gencony, Editor PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. ONITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCR, One copy, one year, or sz numbers One copy, six months, or 26 nut One copy. forty weeks = se Including the Cunisrmas Jupcs. IPTIONS—To all for 0 so 3 the pettal union. a year. THE Jupoe PUBLISHING COMPANY (JupaE BurLpina) Cor. Fifth Ave, and 16th Street, New York. BB THE PUBLISHERS of the New York weekly JUDGE notify the public that the use of JUDGE in local advertising schemes by printing and inserting advertising pages between its leaves it a direct violation of the publishers’ rights under the copy right law. No one is authorized by the publishers to use JUDGE in this manner, ana they will take prompt measures to step anybody from s0 using their paper. JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY, 10 Fifth avenue, New York. $87 NOTICE TO*SUBSCRIBERS.— The number following your name on the addreselabel indicates the number of paper with which your subscription expires. Te will be well to renew promptly’ in order to insure a continuous service of the paper. THE MESSAGE—A beggarly array of empty sentences. THE ONLY safe thing for this con- gress to do is nothing whatever. APAN must not let her head get so large that she can’t carry it com- fortably. MB: LANGTRY seeks for a divorce, perhaps, in the Pickwickian the- atrical sense. SOROSIS having joined a state fe-- eration, the question has arisen, which is.the federation? LIX OF RUSSIA is so praised that she may in time come to be recognized as Alix the Great. COLONEL ASTOR gets his title without having to fight for it; but then that’s the way with most of the colonels. JOHN BURNS may talk too much, as an exchange says; but he has a happy faculty of knowing something about his remarks. HE QUEEN of Italy is to be pre- sented with a bicycle of gold. We trust she won't have to issue bonds to keep possession of it. Passencer— Passencer—"* No THE GOULDS are going into the match-making business. Heretofore the newspaper reporter has monopolized that industry so far as the Goulds are concerned. THE WIFE of Governor Waite says the woman who chews gum is not the woman to be intrusted with the ballot, A sweeping decision like that shows that Mrs. Waite is equally unfortunate whether she chews gum or not, A WOMAN in Massachusetts was engaged to a man forty-three years. One day the man drew a corkscrew from his pocket. She was shocked. She grabbed it and drew out every one of her affections, and now the match, as Mr. Corbett would say, will never be pulled off. This is atypical New England love-story, and is rather better as to size than one by Sarah Orne Jewett. THE WOMAN QUESTION involves voting, the right to wear bloom- ers, the right to go half-clad, and the right to preach. The woman is agitating this world more than ever before. and by next year she may arrogate to herself the right of bossing, both in the household and the political field. Then she may acquire the right to go to war, and there are thousands of men who will willingly let her have it. IN CITY-HALL ELEVATOR. * License department.” A CHRISTIAN DUTY. NEXT YEAR ought to see the Christian world at work, persuasively and if necessary forcibly, to protect, if not to avenge, the people of Armenia and other provinces under Turkish rule, There is no English or other national or commercial interest which is half as sacred as the lives and the honor of these persecuted peoples. The Chinese are getting their medicine, The Turk must have his. THE TOTTERING EMPIRE. HE DESTRUCTION of the Chinese empire ought to be complete. There is no call for that empire at this period. It is old, foolish and feeble, and its regard for the ordinary and lower classes of Chinamen is not half as good as that of the master for the dog. Will it be followed by civil war? The powers will probably take care of that, and indeed are already considering the best method of saving the pieces and adapting them to their royal selves, THIS IS TOO MUCH. WOMAN'S PAPER, The Jmpress, chides the lazy man who gets to the box-office first for his deliberate slowness, his failure to have his money ready, etc.; so that the sprightly women at his back have to wait and are greatly exasperated. That is not only impertinence, but false- hood. It is the reversal of a situation that has existed ever since Adam led Eve out of Paradise. Did this woman's paper ever hear of a virtue called truth? THE UNCLAD WOMAN. HE LIVING PICTURE of the opera does not put itself on exhi- bition for money, as does that of the ordinary show-house. Rather, it is an advertisement of the fact that it has money, and perhaps of the supposition that therefore it has a right to go half naked. There is accordingly something to say in behalf of the theatrical pict- ure, which is moneyless; and if Mr. Comstock proposes reform he must begin with the operatic and evening- party exhibitions. GO TO, MR. PARKER! THE REV. JOSEPH PARKER of London is not very generous with his Christian thoughts and sugges- tions. Charging a reporter with theft because the reporter took notes of one of his addresses has a look of mean- ness of which a clergyman ought to be ashamed. But he wanted to sell the address, did he? That is equivalent to the thrift of the writer who sells his. matter to more than one periodical. Is not a sermon delivered as much public property as an article printed ? PUT UP YOUR HANDS. EOPLE MAY WISH, and it is a nice courtesy; but whether it is to be a happy year depends upon yourself. Put that into the little diary to begin with. Luck? Well, there is something in that, too; but to a large extent activity makes good luck, and idleness and despair are bad luck if you have none of a more pronounced kind. Put up your hands against the world, and if it knocks you out you may at least have the sat- isfaction of knowing you are not to blame for it—a fact that involves a good deal of happiness all alone by itself. HERE’S TO THE GOOD FELLOW. F THE GOOD RESOLUTION were to be carried out in every instance we should have very bad business. The distilleries and the breweries would suffer. The stores would sell less. The tailor would be idle half his time. The shoemaker might starve. The theatres would have slim audiences. The jewelers would sell out at half price. All this would in- volve idleness and suffering to thousands of honest men and women, for the good resolution invariably looks to economy and such decorous living as excludes fun. Would this be well? Let us rather, for once, speak a good word for the good fellow who “spends his money free”; and let us revive epithets for the selfish and the miserly whose stockings bulge with idle money the year round. Marriage?” dog.” comicbooks.com