Judge, 1894-12-08 · page 18 of 60
Judge — December 8, 1894 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several disconnected humorous sketches typical of Judge's satirical format: **"A Terrible Split"** depicts jesting demons/imps tormenting a victim—illustrating the concept of internal conflict or being "split." **"They Never Thought of It"** satirizes young women's materialistic Christmas wishes. The girls initially request luxury items (watches, pianos), then the last girl jokes about wanting "a man"—prompting all the others to change their wishes to match, mocking women's supposed obsession with marriage over material goods. **"Forty-Nine Cents"** jokes about cheap cigars: a husband complains his wife's Christmas gift cigars made him sick because she forgot to remove the price sticker (49 cents), implying their low quality was embarrassingly obvious. **"Bought the Business"** features a child claiming he "bought out" another boy's snow-sweeping job—juvenile entrepreneurship humor. **"Declined"** and **"Not Necessary"** offer romantic rejection verses, poking fun at disappointed suitors and female disinterest in relationships. The overall tone mocks consumer culture, materialism, and gender relations through Victorian-era sentimental and comedic conventions.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A TERRIBLE SPLIT. THE JESTER AND HIS VICTIM, THEY NEVER THOUGHT OF IT. BEVY of pretty girls were talking of the Christmas gifts they would like to receive, ve me a gold watch,” said one. rive me silver bonbonniére,” said another. “Give me lots of gloves” Give me a toilet-box.” ive-me an album. “Give me a piano,” and so in succession. “Give me a man,” said the last; and the rest all snickered and changed their wishes at the same time. ° “FORTY-NINE CENTS.” Merritt Those were pretty rank cigars your wife gave you for Christmas.” Cobwigger—"\ should say so. They made me sick before I tried them.” How was that?” “She forgot to rub the price off the bottom of the box.” BOUGHT THE BUSINESS. “' Are you the boy who swept the snow away yesterday?” “No, mum, That was Billy Binks; but I've bought him out.” Miss Cumso (angrily)—"* I particularly told my dressmaker to have my new silk dress cut décolleté, and here she re- turns it with a fu . and it’s almost time for the party.” Miss Wape—" I wouldn't get angry, my dear; there won't be any men there.”” DECLINED. [ THOUGHT Grisetda smited on me, And oh, I felt love's piercing dart ‘hen Christmas came, most willing! I gave the gentle maid my heart, Kut, ah, how quickly did T pass Into a state of gloom, alack ! What woe was mine, for, cruel lass! She sent my Christmas present back. comicbooks.com