Judge, 1894-12-01 · page 10 of 20
Judge — December 1, 1894 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**"Won by a Neck (With a Bill on It)"** depicts a bicycle race where one competitor appears to be winning by extending their neck—a visual pun on "winning by a neck" while literally using a bill (beak/neck) as an advantage. The satire mocks absurd competitive tactics or possibly unfair advantages in races. **"Comparative Griefs"** contrasts a pompous man's dismissive attitude toward a widow's drowned son as merely "quite a little accident" with the citizen's pointed observation that he'd call it catastrophic if it were *his* child. This mocks hypocrisy and class insensitivity—the wealthy man's callousness toward others' suffering. **"Called Back"** is a humorous domestic mix-up: a woman apparently dying suddenly revives, but only because a neighbor mistakenly used his latch-key at their door, not due to medical miracle. The remaining items—aphorisms from "The Judge," a fashion note about using a boa constrictor as a leash, and a prizefighter joke—are lighter filler content typical of Judge's satirical miscellany.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
WON BY A NECK (WITH A BILL ON IT). 4. The finish, COMPARATIVE GRIEFS. $ A CITIZEN met a pompous individual walking up the street and said," Why are all these people in the street ?” The pompous individual said, * Quite a little accident; quite a little accident. The widow Brown's son has been drowned and they are getting him out of the water.” The citizen replied, “ Quite a little accident? If it had been your boy it would have been a deuced big accident, I can tell you.” CALLED BACK. Jack Latebird— The doctor had said at midnight that all was over, and we were closing Maude’s eyes when she suddenly revived and sat up.” Harry Highflyer—* What a wonderful physiological phenomenon !" Jack Latebird—" Well—er—not exactly. By mistake our next-door neighbor had just put his latch-key into our front door.” A NEW USE FOR THE BOA, The way Miss Boawe leads her pet dogs without any trouble, SENTENCES PASSED BY THE JUDGE. A THWARTED principle strikes deep roots. The most irretractable errors are those in ink. Purity is a necessity with women; a concession to mo- rality with men. The lesser the education the greater the susceptibility to slights and offenses. The debt of the rose to the mire is one which indifference grants and nature repays. In her eagerness to create, Nature may sometimes be be- trayed, but she never creates a monstrosity without protest. My neighbor never understands the grounds of my offense against him, for they rest on some things other than the things he did. HOW HE FOUGHT. \ The sympathy that adds another tear to our eyes is "Feast yer eyes, Billy, on dat figger while yer got de chance 1" \ sometimes better than the laugh which would make us forget ho is de gent? : i : Dat's de champion prize-fighter Jawem, wot’s wrote t'ree hundred more that there is any cause for weeping. xatumne crosjtax. coluins in de newspapers dan his opponent.” comicbooks.com