Judge — November 17, 1894 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE END. JN CHICAGO an Irishman was given a position as guard on the ele- vated (" through in- flooence”). As he had difficulty in re- membering the s.reet- ames his THE CORNET. patron wrote them The most univers- down in order 6n a ally blasted instru- card, and for two iment by muvicianand days he called them ally the public), all right. The third day, however, he forgot his card, and, attempting to call them from memory, succeeded very well until he reached Centre avenue, when he opened the car-door and shouted, “All av yez must git out here. Oi've fergot me car-rd.” QUITE A DIFFERENCE, IUDE and a locomotive— Quite a difference there, ‘tis said ; For one, you know, has a head-light And the other a light head. BOOMERANGS. SOYES, he was our defeated candidate, The voters of the district for some reason struck back at him.” “Ab, he suffered from election re- turns, did he ?” ASKING TOO MUCH. Mr. YALEMAN (tragicalls)—"* My darling, won't you name the day for our marriage? I shall be utterly wretched until T can call you my own * SHE—" Very well, Say Thanksgiving day.” Mr. Yateman—"' Great Scott, girl! are you crazy? That's foot-ball day !" FROM A WORLD'S-FAIR NOTE-BOOK. AUNT JERUSHY from down in Eelynoy "stepped into the Wash- ington state building late in May. The ambitious Washington- ians were just placing the great mammoth in the rear of the building. After watching the workmen awhile as they braced and stayed the monster skeleton with small iron piping Aunt Jerushy stepped up to the omniscient guard and guilelessly asked, “ What air they a-pipin’ this thing fer—gas or water ?” CONTRARY TO UNION RULES. Physician—* How did the vaccination work on the boy?” Labor-leader's wife—" Wt took splendidly; but my husband says it is the last time he'll engage you for anything like that.” HE WORKED. Physician—* Wasn't he satisfied ?” Day—"* Didn't you never work, Bill?” Weary Wituiam—" Yes; once. I swallered a yeast-cake when I wuz a ki Before and after Miss Prettygirl left the room, comicbooks.com