Judge — November 10, 1894 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AN IMPORTANT DE- CISION. $+} {OW did you come out in the breach-of-promise suit?” “Got a verdict in my favor.” “T thought the young woman had a preity clear case against you.” “Well, so did 1; but the jury held that a man is not responsible for what he says at the seashore.” POETRY. AS! those lays neglected, No bosom will they thrill, Ie's written by the barrel, But it's published by the gill. EXPLAINED, AT THE boarding-school. First girl— What is the mat- ter with these pickles?” Second girl—" Don't they taste right?” First girl— No: they're hor- rid.” Third girl— V'm sorry, girls; but I was just out of hair-pins and so I took a fork to get them out of the bottle.”” FIRST MAN laughter.” QUICK CONVERSION. Deacon Raxpotrn—"t When mah son Abe kem home frum SEEING ON TRUST. This must be an awfully funny play.” * What makes you think so?” 293 A DIREFUL THREAT. *© ARE you going out to-night, dear?" said the husband to the emancipated woman. “Lam, It is the regular week- ly meeting of the lodge.” “Then I want to say to you” —and there was an unusual defi- ance in the mild man’s tone—"I want to say that if you are not home by eleven o'clock I shall go home to my father.” A COLLEGE LAMENT. IFE isa grind; Work is a flunk. You think, think, think, And you get nothing thunk, FIXED. Higgins—* How do you like your new boarding-place?” Stoppit— First rate, and 1 in tend to stay. Higgins—" But suppose your landlady doesn’t like you?” She can move any “* Just sce how these women in front of us are shaking with JUDGMENTS. NEASY lies the head : that wears a false- hood. Only a morbid mind is on the lookout for slights. Silent people are mis- understood, and they de- serve it. He who gathers no wisdom from experience has no future Beware of a man when he begins to dis- parage himself. Never let thy right hand know what thy left hand doeth badly. Wise men eat their words; fools chew them and spit them out again. No man is lovable un- less he has some womanly qualities, and _no woman is respectable unless she has some manly ones. What we call luck in our neighbor's case and A GIVE-AWAY. Conpuctor—"' You'll have to pay another fare for that basket. It takes up as much room as a passenger.” Mrs, Levinowsky—" Oh, Fadder Abraham! A. poot vidder voman dakin’ home coats to sew has to pay fare fur her basget. Oh!" (IWeeps.) college he war powerful doubtful ‘bout de bible; said he couldn’ swaller de story ‘bout de whale swallerin’ Jonah. Parson Jounsox—"* Den why did he jine de chu'ch ?” Deacon’ Kanpotrn (complacently)—"* Simple ‘nough. 1 whaled it intoe him.” special Providence in our own is probably but a fort- unate accident in either. MADELINE ORVIS, Ae . z Nei > 2 Lrrtie Jakey—‘'I gouldn’t shtandt id no longer, mud- Dot goose has mine ear shewed off alreadty.” THE EVOLUTION OF A POLICEMAN’S HELMET. comicbooks.com