Judge — October 27, 1894 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Oh, mother! please, mother, come home with me now ; ‘The afternoon ‘s slipping by fast. You said you were coming right home from the polls As soon as your ballot was cast. Poor father came in for his dinner at noon ‘And not a’ mouthfal could he find, And the words that he said as he slammed the front door Left a strong smell of sulphur behind, —Kansas City Republican, Mxs. Winsto: DOTHING I~ dren ‘Teething; soothes the child, softens the gums, allays all pain, cures wind colic and diar- fiwea. 25 cents a bottle Ars, de Flat—* Nave you anything new in folding-beds?” Dealer—"' Only this, madam, and it really is quite a success, On arising you touch a spring and it turns -stand and bath-tub. After your g and it becomes a dressing. plate mirror. If you breakfast in your room a slight pressure ill transform it into an extension-table, After breakfast you press these three buttons at once and you have an upright piano. ‘'hat's all it will do, except that when you die it can be changed into a rosewood coffin. —Spure Ao. ments, Cook's Imperial, World’s Fair “highest laward, excellent champagne ; good efferves- cence, agreeable bouquet. delicious flavor.” Dust on the ** bargains“ and dust on the floors, Dust on the windows and dust on the doors, Dust on the counters and dust on the shelves, Dust on the coats of the salesmen themselves, Lust on the cash-boys, dust on the stools, Dust in supremacy everywhere rules, Except in one place—it will cause no surprise— No ** dust” in the till, for they don’t advertise. —Printer’s Ink, Mrs, Wickwire—"" Goodness! there are fifty. two car-loads of tooth-picks turned out in this, country every year. I wonder who uses all of them?” Afr,” Wickwire —* About fifty car- loads of them slip down into the lining of fel- lows’ vests, I guess. "—/ndianapolis Journal, Packer’s Tar Soap. “Wonderfully soothing and heal- ing.” —Journal of Health, New York. “Excellent in dandruff, chafing and itching."— Medical and Surgi- cal Reporter, Philadelphia. “It leaves the skin soft, smooth and supple. A luxury for shampoo- ing.”"—Medical Standard, Chicago. | The fewer our wants the nearer we resemble the gods.— Socrates. What's the difference between a man anda mad dog? Whatever the man can make it.— Philadelphia Record, First convia — you've got a watch? Second convict—" You don’t mean to say What did it cost you?" two years.""— Waterbury. Frousy Fred—'* Wot's de matter, Bill? Yer lookin’ blue.” Bibulous Bill—* "feels blue, Frouzy; I feels blue. A doctor told me de other day dat { had water on de brain, an’ I've been a-tryin’ ter tink ever since how it got dere."—Brooklyn Life. Ignatius Donnelly’s treatise on how Bacon wrote Shakespeare is now sold only by the pound.— Whe General Manager, De trumpet mek moh noise dan de violin, but dah ain't no true music in it. Same way wif good many men,—Uncle Eben in Midland Monthly. It was a neat touch of the appropriate that led Queen Victoria to send the duke of Vork a box of kid gloves.—New York World. Even amung thoze people who think they are Christians there are more who fear God than there iz who love him.—/osk Billings, Aman must be a fool who does not succeed in making a woman believe that which flatters her.— Balzac. The man who can smile and won't do it cheats others and robs himself,—Ham's Horn. Used in Sleeplessness, Excesstve Study. Over Brainwork. Nervous Debility, Dyspep sla, Fat gue of Travel or Shopping. For sale by all leading druggists, by dose or bottle. Mrs. Klock of Denver is running for the legislature in Colorado and expects to win, hands down.— Philadelphia Ledger. abe Bars ee natin 8 Five pacar, Ramune FON ra ewante rind Ser 0.7. FLSNYDER, M.D, Malt Dept az, MoVickers Theater, Chicago, 1 “On what does Sniffins base his suit for libel?” "On a casual reference to him as the ideal juror in a capital case."—Mashington Star, The age and genuineness of THIs Whisky (QNADIAN (By WHIsky are guaranteed by the Excise Department of the Canadian Government by certificate over the capsule of every bottle. From the mo- ment of manufacture until this certificate is affixed the Whisky never leaves the custody of the Excise Officers. No other Govern- ment in the World provides for consumers this independent and absolute guarantee of purity and ripeness, “G@anadian Club Whistry is particularly adapted for medi nal use. When not obtainable from local dealers we will gladly supply consumers direct upon application, A Sounce sample, with the usual Government guarantec, will be sent prepaid, by expre 5, to any address in the United States on reecipt of S06. in stamps, Distilled and Bottled by HIRAM WALEER & SONS (Limited), Walkerville, Canada. LONDON, Ge DManx Lax, EC NEW YORK, 1232 Broapway. CHICACO, 22) & 224 Moxapsock BLoce, 27 ‘A Colchester paper avers that a hotel in Col chester has a cook so good-looking that she mashes the potatoes by looking at them.— Hamilton Register, i Mamma—" What was the sermon about this morning, Willie?" Willie—"* Well, I guess it was tellin’ about cash-boys.” Afamma—"* What did the minister say about them?” Willie “ Nothin’; but his text was, ‘All the days of my appointed time will 1 wait till my change come.""—Chicago Record. Prattle (to his wife)—'* You don’t seem to have the courage of your convictions." Afrs. Prattle—"* | should like to know how you get at that conclusion?” Prattle—"* You say there no use talking and then you talk for hours."— Boston Home Journal, George was taking her for a sail. She real- ized that the time had almost come, and, in fact, he seemed on the point of putting the question, when suddenly a squall capsized them. “Oh, George.” she gasped, “‘th-this is so s-sudden !"— Vale Record. “BELLE GF NELSON.” The whiskey that made Kentucky famous. Used in United States government hospitals after a thorough, chemical analysis, and pronounced to be the purest and finest whiskey in the world. Distilled and bottled by te Belle of Nelson Distiliery Co., Louisville, Ky. For sale in cases, containing twelve bottles, or by wpe bare, “Address Acken, Muarats & Coworr, New Belle of Nelson Distillery Co., LOUISVILLE, KY. PHE CELEBRATED SOWMER Pianos aro the Bost. Warerooms: 149-155 E. 14th St., New York. Cavtiox.—The buying public wiil p'eate not con’ found the Soumex Piano with ove of a similarly sounding name of cheap grade. Our name spells— S—0—-H—-M-E-R. TROY IMPROVED CHLOR ders no Losa of Nerve force. Patients treated Corresjendence sollelted. Nv D. CRARY, 7 BIE irk Building, syracuse, N.Y.” Ment Scpox. TO THE YOUNG FACE Pozzoni's Complexion Powder gives fresher charms, to the old renewed youth. Try it, OF GOLD CURE. An obedient wife commands her husband.— Tennyson. zoth Edition, postpaid for ase. (or stamps). THE HUMAN HAIR, Why it Falls Off, Turns Gray, and the Remedy. By PROF. HARLEY PARKER. F. R.A. 5. C.K. Lone & Co., 1013 Arch. St, Philadelphia, Pa. “iBvery one should read this little hook.” — A thenaum. No one can broaden his own views by spread- ing himself. —Ga/veston News. Clara—"* Were there any marrying men down at the beach this summer?" “Cora—" Yes; there were two ministers and a justice of the peace.""— Yonkers Statesman, ‘The editorial page of the Brooklyn had to be locked up Wednesday before the Saratoga stampede began Consequently its editor wrote, “" Tne bark of contingency is too near, both in time and space, to the shore of decision to render prediction other than extra- hazardous.” In the domain of horoscopy $ Clair McKelway is a conservative radical.— vochester Herald. Boggs (pathetically)}—"* Good-bye, wife; 1 have to go on jury duty.” Ars, Boggs (vear= fully)—""'Now be back as soon as you can. Don't belong to the ‘ obstinate eleven.'"—Nerw York Sun, C. C, Shayne’s name in a fur garment isa |guarantee of reliability. Awarded highest prizes at the world’s fair. Shayne’s, 124 and 126 West Forty-second street, New York, is the leading fashionable resort for reliable and elegant furs. Fashion-book mailed to any ad dress, DEAFNESS and HEAD NOISES relieved by using |ON'S COMM FAR DRUMS. New scientific tnventlon. entirely éif- ferent {n construction from ail other de- Vices. Assist the deaf when all ether de: Vices fail, and where medical skill has kiven no relief.” Sate, comfortable, tp- Nistble, have ‘no wire’ or string attach. ment.” Write for pamphlet. Witso EAR DRUM CO.. Mentioe Jones: Cruievilte. During the summer a little girl was standing | at the end of the piazza at the Oriental, look- ing toward Manhattan beach, when ex- Mayor mith Ely of New Vork passed by.“ Well, little lady,” said he, * husband?" ‘Yes, sir,” replied the tot; mamma's busband.”— Pittsburg Bulletin, FORTIFIES NOURISHES STIMULATES REFRESHES Brain Seal Fie accretion and AUTOGRAPHS of Celebrities. TMARIANUA O0., 1? West 15th St, New Yous. GSR GSR =< => FSTER CSTR AIF YOU ARE A MAN BN Ask able ourself these questions. Are your Suspenders thoroughly comfort- 7 As much so as ever? Couldu't you imagine a better kind? M M ™ re There is a better kind, unless you wear the Made with ends of “graduated”? elastic cord, the most ingenious textile fabric ever put intoa suspender. Stretches in some places, and in some not. Makes them the best, most comfortable, serviceable, neat, and elegant. fort. A cheaper model, the pairs mailed for the price. M BNA 2 oe WARK. ‘Ove of these lapels on the back ‘ofeach Fifty cents brings a dead sure dividend of continuous com Workers,”” at twenty-five cents. Notice the “graduated”? cor. CHESTER SUSPENDER ar ceed Avenue, Roxbury, Mass. Sample comicbooks.com|