Judge — October 20, 1894 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

FATAL REPETITION OF A FAKE. Proressor LARYNX (the ventriloguist) —"Thanks for your applause, ladies and gents. I will endeavor to repeat the parrot imitation !" A PRIEST-RIDDEN PATRIOT. SOYVHAT! you are going to stay away from the polls on election- day? You a Democrat too!" “ Well, I'm conscientious about it “Ah, vote as you pray, eh?” JUDGE NOTHING STRANGE. © 6OJIT, MY love she is so sweet !” Exclaims her ardent Charley, “* She seems sweet enough to eat!" Which she does quite regularly. ALWAYS HAPPENS SO. Chicago butcher —" Vve been hand- ling so much pork to-day that I never want to see another piece of it.” His wife—"1 should think you would get sick of it. Well, come to dinner.” Chicago butcher—" What have you for dinner ?” His wife —" Some nice roast pork.” A BIASED COMPLIMENT. Paxson Loncitzan —" Brudder Diggitts, 1 wishes toe heartily fo" yo" benefit o' dis chu'ch. 1 also requests, in regyard fo" dat yo" ‘lows Elder Bimms toe pass de plate dis mawnin’, ul congregashun dat saw yo' magic lars’ ebenin’ am all speckerlatin’ on seein’ dere money changed intoe de ‘widder's mite’ befo’ de plate reaches de chancel.” OF COURSE. Freddie—" Ma dirty. Please wash i Mamma —-“* Freddie, where in the world do you learn to say ‘me face,’ like a little street Arab? Why don’t you say ‘my face is dirty?” Freddie — Because your face isn’t dirty.” PAT’S PUZZLE. Paddy — Oi wonder how the divil the shtrate- car company thinks a man could git aff av their car widout bein’ in mo- tion.” , me face is PROFrSSOR LARYD want a cracker 7" SuPPoseD PARROT — “* Polly wants a cracker. Proressor Lar kind 2?— PIN- FEATHERS. Freddie (who has been watching cook prepare dinner) —"* Mamma!” Mamma (in an agony of apprehension) —" Yes, Freddie; but don't “9 bother mamma now. Don't you see she’s busy ?” Freddie —" Ves, mamma ; but Mr. Baldy’s head needs singein, Tue raxror—"Any kind !" PROFESSOR LARYNX (fo himself) —"* Holly gee! Blamed ef der supe didn’t fergit ter giv’ “im one on der encore.” 1!!! Wild applause! Curtain! HER! SOE GET from this story of Moses,” Said the eloquent woman in specs (Asa final essay to illustrate ‘The masculine might of her sex), ** A striking example that gives us A proof of the truth T aver — ‘There's equal demand in a crisis For aid from both Aaron and /ur /* MES. GEORGE ARCHIBALD. NOT ONE ESCAPED HIM. Nrece —“ Did you see the obelisk in Central park, Uncle Abner ?” Uncle Abner—* Yes. \ seen all the animals.” THE INSCRUTABLE LAW OF OPPOSITES. Why is it that a little man, who can grow King —this young giant, who is obliged to nurse a Humbert mustaches, invariably selects an amazonian —_‘* base-bail” mustache, is always eminently happy in, consort like this, while the possession of a little wife of this description? comicbooks.com