Judge — October 20, 1894 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

I} so. RATIONAL DRESS. (A reformer's note to a current controversy.) 0, ungallant must be the man indeed Who calls ** nine women out of ten” kneed"! Aad he should not remain in peace for long Who says “the nether limbs of women" are “all wrong.” Such are the arguments designed to prove ‘That woman 's ill-advised to make a move To mannish clothes, ‘These arguments are sucl 4s to be of the kind that prove too much. I. woman's limbs in truth unshapely grow ‘The present style of dress just makes them so, —Punch, “knock. Mrs. Winstow's Sooritnc Syrup for Chil- dren ‘Veething; soothes the child, softens the gums, allays ail pain, cures wind colic and diar- Thoea. 25 cents a bottle, Out in Kansas a man was shot for insisting on selecting some dress-stuff for women who were shopping at the counter where he was purchasing things for himself. And yet women f] will take upon themselves to select neckties for male relations, and the latter will sometimes even wear them.—Evening Sun. First youngster —"Vve got a new baby brother what came from heaven last night. Second youngster—"* That's nothin’, My little baby-brother went to heaven yesterday." First youngster (reflectively)—" Pete, I bet it's the same kid." —Spring field Farm and Home. Angostura Bitters, the world-renowned South American appetizer, cures dyspepsia, etc. Dr. J. G. B. Siegert &' Sons, sole manufacturers. At all druggists, It is much easier to run a newspaper than a government. That is why journalism is so much better than governments and editors are f] so much happier than kings, emperors, presi- J] dents, governors, mayors and constables.— Brooklyn Eagle, |] Married man—" Not married yet chun—"" No, Vm not." Married man— see here, old’ boy ; times are changing mighty I) fast. You take my advice and marry before women get any more emancipated than they are already."—New York Weekly. Brotwon—" Jones seems to be working hard |] for the nomination.” Smith—""I should say Just published his fourth letter saying that he is not a candidate,"—Brookiyn Life, D Gentleman Smoke "9 a as the breeze And As Sweet As ifs The Flowers alo oe ea A 202 Trial package postpaid tor Raab Butte’ BRos he American. Tobacco Co Successor’ BALTIMORE Md, THE ONLY COCOA WITH RICH CHOCOLATE FLAVOR. THE PNEUMOGASTRIC NERVE. Upon an average, twice a week, When anguish clouds my brow, My good physician friend I seek To know “' what ails me now.” He taps me on the back and chest ‘And scans my tongue for bile, ‘And lays an ear against my breast ‘And listens there a while, ‘Then is he ready to admit ‘That all he can observe Is something wrong inside, to wit— My pneumogastric nerve. Now when these Latin names within Dyspeptic hulks like mine Go wrong a fellow should begin ‘To draw what's called the line. Tt seems, however, that this same Which in my bulk abounds Ts not, despite its awful name, So fatal as it sounds ; Yet of all torments known to me T'll say without reserve There is no torment like to thee, ‘Thou pneumogastvic nerve! This subtle, envious nerve appears ‘To be a patient foe— It waited nearly forty years Its chance to lay me low : Then, like some blithering blast of hell, It'struck this guileless bard, And in that evil hour I fell Prodigious far and hard. Alas! what things I dearly love— Pies, puddings and preserves— Are sure to rouse the vengeance of All pneumogastric nerves, Oh, that I could remodel man ! T'd end these cruel pains By hitting on a different plan From that which now obtains. The stomach, greatly amplified, ‘Anon should occupy ‘The all of that domain inside Where heart and lungs now lie; But first of all I should depose That diabolic curve And author of my thousand woes, ‘The pneumogastric nerve. STAMPS CASH PAID. New 241 ‘stamp dook, 10 centa. teribes ‘rare U.S. stampa, Worth from $1 to $610 each, And gives prices. We pay for every ‘Kind of stamp COLUMBIAN STAMP & COIN CO., La Crosse Wisconsin, eee Zio ee apaany ace 0. W. F. SNYDER, M. Br Heli epee pet Aa TEhoate: The cops with lanterns every night ‘Through Central park must wind To lead belated couples out— For love, you know, is blind. —New York Herald. DENVER MORTGAGES, Sper cent. to10per cent. Ont 1s promising city with, i tribotary territory yet to erelop.” Oreat gold:mlaty expansion. Safely-made far {ho Vent Investment “Low valuations rule ow. Aan! dant references. Free ctreulars. Joux £, Laer, 1515 Tremont 8t., Denver, Colo, We buy stamps of all kinds, ‘Tare “or “comtinon, SAD OLD coiNe, Valuable ietormatton sbout old coin for 2eeat stamp. Write us, Youwm Ml et more prompt attention and better service by mentioning 1g Jcboe when answering advertisements, D. L. DOWD'S HEALTH EXERCISER For Gentlemen, Ladies, Youths’, ath- ,, lete or invalid. ‘Complete gymnasium ; Xo, takes 6 In. of floor room: wow, sclentit= ‘ie, durable, cheap. Indorsed by 100,000 piyaictans, lawyere, clergymen. ations ‘others now using it illustrated jeircular, a) engravings, free. Address D. L. DOWD, Sctentifc Physical and Yosh Cutture. 9 Hast itn street, New ‘ork. C.F. J jeago agent 269 Dearbora street. He who loves and loves in vain ‘Thinks he will not love agai Rails at woman and her wiles And loves the next time woman smiles. —Anon, 2oth Edition, postpaid for ase. (or stamps). THE HUMAN HAIR, Why it Falls Of, Turns Gray, and the Remedy. y PROF. HARLEY PARKER, F. R.A. S. ©, K. Lone & Cou, 1013 Arch St, PI fadeighiay Pa. Sigvery one should read this little book,”"—A fhenarum, TROY IMPROVED CHLORIDE OF GOLD CURE. Hngeoders no Loss of Nerve force. Patients treated ss Home. Coreppansgory mulches, Op Geant, Here is a specimen of dramatic criticism as she is written in Chicago—" The first scene of the second act shows a forest of phosphores- cent fungi, full of fascinating phantasmagori- cal fire-fies, fitfully flitting fast and furiously. An argument alliterated artfully as above awak- ens asthetic appreciations.—Evening Sun. Cook's Imperial, | World's Fair," highest award, excellent champagne ; good efferves- cence, agreeable bouquet, delicious flavor.” Cholly—* 1 wondah where—ah—Algy pwo- cures his beautiful accent, dontcher know?" Dolly—"* Why, didn’t the deah boy tell you? He has all bis teeth diwect from—aw—Lon- don."—Jewish Messenger. Wife" This is the third time you have come home tipsy this week.” //ubby—" D.don't be so p-pessimistic, my dear, You should think of the four nights I come home sober.” —Boston Home Journal. For steady nerves and good sleep use Bromo-Seltzer. Contains no anti-pyrine. ‘A judge in crossing the Trish channel one stormy night knocked against a well-known witty lawyer, who was suffering terribly from sea-sickness." ‘Can I do anything for you?" said the judge. “Yes,” gasped the sea-sick lawyer, ish your lordship would overrule this motion,"— White Mountain Echo, xplorer Peary returned from the arctic re- gions with a daughter, which he has named Marie, from a song entitled ‘Sweet Marie,” said to be quite popular among the Esquimaux inhabiting the far regions in which he has been making a temporary residence.— Zray Press. THE CELEGRATED SOHMER Pianos are the Hest. Warerooms: 149-155 E. 14th St, New York. Cavriox.—The buying public will pleate not con’ Pie gnrtintin dees penlenyioatnss sounding name of cheap grade. Our name spells— S—0—-H—-M-E-R. Mr. Bibber—" I've just come down in the Kitchen, love, to get a point or two, for if you go away next week I'll have to do my own cooking. What are those you are dumping in that pan—beans? Why, do you have to soak ‘em before cooking?’ "Ars. Bibdber —"* Of course.” Ar. Bibber—“ That's funny. Now, if I was going to cook myself "—— Ars, Bib- ser—“Ab, if you were going to cook yourself any additional soaking would be unnecessary. FIRST MORTGAGE GOLD BONDS. — Yonkers Gazette. THE YUMA IMPROVEMENT Col mie cu Ge gee faa tor ‘Gola can. Trustes of cation and subscription pro Tala. at Paina eid Benste 2 be haa of TOMA i avait G3.” ‘Vaited Bank Building, # Wall Brest, Now ¥ ork, OL vax Da Wares, Secretary. Elder Berry—'* Joblots tells me he still has serious doubts about the miracles.” Dr. Third- ty—"* Why should he have?” Elder Berry— * He can't get over the fact that the witnesses to them were mostly fishermen.”"—Wew York World, ‘As a specific against dyspepsia and other troubles of the stomach, also as an appetizer and for mixing in drinks, nothing superior to BOKER'S BITTERS. Tommy—* Paw, what makes them have the weather-office away up on the top of a high building?" Mfr. Figg—" That is so that it will be too much exertion for a fat man to climb the stairs and kill the weather-man,"— Indianapolis Journal. C. C. SHAYNE’S FUR HSTABLISHMENT. 124-126 West 42d 8t., New York. Fashion Cut mailed free, Send name and address. VIN MARIANI roR NOURISHES Body and| Brain STIMULATES REFRESHES Indorsed by eminent Physicians everywhere. Sent if AVOID SUBSTITUTIONS. 128, atbom, 75 PORTRAITS| and AUTOGRAPHS of Celebrities.’ TARANTA COW Wes DEAFNESS and HEAD NOISES by si ‘eNSE nes ‘3 COMMO} NEAR ORUMS. New scientific invention, entirely dif- ferent In constraction frota ail other de- vices. Assist the deaf when all other de. Vices fail, and where medical akiii has #iven no relief.” Bate, comfortable, fa- Visible, have no wire’ or string atach- megs | Wate or Damp steal 80! ZAR DRUM C Couisvill 3 GENTLEMEN! Don't suffer longer with imperfect and unreliable Coutan Buttons. 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