Judge — October 13, 1894 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Ww, J, Anke Barwnarp Gittam. J: AMINE. Gascony. Bator PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AND CANADA. IM ADVANCE. One copy, one year, of s2 numbers - $5.00 One or % One copy. forty weeks + Tnclading the Cwmsrwas juocs. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS— Teall fom ier im the postal unica, THe Jupog PUBLISHING COMPANY (JuDGE BurLDINa) Cor. Fifth Ave, and 16th Street, New York B81 guarantee advertizers a larger circulation than any other American satire. cal paper published. Juvan's Lineary and Jucr's Quarranty are all for sale at Brentane's, " ‘Smith, Ainslee & Co..25 Newcastle The International News Co, Breams Building. Chancery Lane, E bach's! Never Birch 18 Leipuie, German Cable mdidren— E. Alioth, Geneva, $27 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Junce are protected by copy- cight in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. T° VOTERS—Kill Tammany hall or forever hold your peace. THE OLDEST CIVILIZATION, that of China, is in its fifth or sixth childhood. CHINESE WARFARE—He who fights and runs away will live to run another day. [F EVERY MAN could manage a party to suit himself there wouldn't be any’party or any party victory. HAREKARL is not as popular in Japan as formerly. It is now thought better to disembowel the Chinese. THE JAPANESE at Ping-Vang and the Platt men at Saratoga covered themselves with yellow gar- ments and golden glory. THE DEMOCRACY of Ohio in- dorse Cleveland and strike out for free silver. Consistency is a jewel, but it comes high. Wccsars A WOMAN in New married in bloomers. She must have carried a revolver too, else how did she capture the man? jand was ‘Sutherland 2” SECOND WORSE: in summer and a fire-engine in winter.” eee A PARIS PAPER speaks of the “large blue, green and yellow eyes of Mrs. Langtry.” Thus the humble but meritorious cat is at last vindi- cated. T IS WELL that Colonel Breckinridge is retired; but the retirement was that of a good fighter and shows that blood will tell if it can com- mand the requisite vocabulary and articulation. [7 NEVER RAINS but it pours. The west has suffered dreadfully with forest fires, cyclones and ruined crops, and it is not impossible that Waite will be re-elected governor of Colorado. NDIA is the best country in the world, according to Actress Potter, the natives having sent her six gold watches in one week. With such an outfit as that the lady has an advertisement for every day ex- cepting Sunday. MB: CROKER retired. Mr. Sheehan got out. Mr. Gilroy has no fur- ther relish for office. Mr. Murphy resigned. And simultaneously with the nomination of Mr, Morton Mr. Flower remarked hastily that his friends must select some other man for his place—he had business in Watertown, The Chinese had better learn wisdom from these men. It is not wise to wait to be whipped. HIS CHOICE. First norse—"'Cables, cables all around, and what ‘Il become of us, Well, if I had my choice, Lucy, I'd draw an ice-wagon HIS EARLY DIPLOMACY. ONCE, when a small boy, Roswell P. ran away from his ma, who had a shpper in her right hand. “Why did you do that, my son?” in- quired the lady. “Because,” said Roswell P. with charming frankness, “I preferred to have you lick me little brother.” GENIUS. R. PLATT is a man of resources. He can make six blades of grass grow where there never was a blade of grass at all. It was written of him years ago, “You can put him ashore on an uninhabited island and he will make a living peddling maps to the inhabitants.” There is nothing reprehensible about that. That is genius. FIGHT FOR ’NINETY-SIX, THE RESULT of the election in this state this fall wll have a tremen dous influence in the national contest of ‘ninety-six, as to nominees and majorities. With New York safe there can be little doubt of a na- tional victory. Therefore no good Republican will fail to do his utmost for his state ticket. It is a fight for the nation as well as for the state. THE RIGHTS OF WEALTH. ET US BE FAIR. It is no sin to be rich. Wealth has rights as well as poverty. The latter may not dictate to the former and say it must come down to its financial level. The honors of office are as much the property of the rich as the poor. Let there be no bar against any class. No Democratic candidate must be beaten because he is rich, but because he is not desirable and belongs to the wrong party. TARIFF CALAMITY. **D)ON'T BE a calamity-howler,” say the Democratic newspapers. “Trust in the new tariff law and give it a fair show.” The Roch- ester Post Express reminds these solicitous sheets that this suggestion would have been better in 1892, when things were prosperous; but the calamity howl was incessant and painful, and every Democratic throat was hoarse with it. And there is this difference—then the calamity was afar off and now it is our con- stant company. Then it was forced, and now it howls itself, A HORRID WRETCH. A LADY tells of a ticket-seller on an elevated road who gave her five pennies in change. She asked him politely for a nickel, and he gave it to her with the remark, “I accept pennies and so should you.” “What right had that man to speak to me?” she asks indignantly, The sentence filled her with rage and danced up and down in her mind until she went to sleep. “For my part,"’she concludes, “I wish Amer- ica was and always had been a monarchy.” Perhaps here is the starting-point of a monarchical par- ty, and if that base ticket-seller hasn't a rope handy he had better pull himself up by his plebeian necktie and be hanged to him. THE RULE OF THE CONTRARIES. CHINAMAN does everything exactly as nobody else does it, You read his writing from left to right, and his fighting is done with his back to the foe. His best weapons are his legs, and on those rare occa- sions when he toes the mark he does it with his heels. If he is condemned to execution he can hire a man to die for him; and if by some accident he wins a victory he passes it back to the enemy, like an American mug wump, along with the flags and honors and emoluments that belong to it. He is a fatalist and a fool, and his government is half right in classing him among the vermin whose life and death are of no significance. . HONOR TO WHOM— NLY A GREAT-MAN could pull himself out of the ditch in which Thomas'C. Platt found himself at the end of a senatorial campaign at Albany several years ago. Let us give Mr. Platt the honor his sharp- ness, his shrewdness, and his great ability deserve. Success is the test of merit, and he wins where anybody else would fail. There is talk of a composite picture of the great Republican leaders of this state. Get just a picture of Mr. Platt and there you have it. He leads them all, he #s them all. And still the wonder grows. That one small hand can take each by his nose. comicbooks.co