Judge — October 6, 1894 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

CUERIOUS. HE soldiers of Ja- pan and China can exist for weeks on rice’ and parched peas. When they have a pitched battle they will have to look out for their’ rice and mind their peas and cues. WAY UP. Plankington —1 understand that you had to go to law about that property that was left you Have you a smart lawyer?” Von Bloomer — “You bet Ihave. He owns the property LAYING IT AT HIS DOOR. now.” WE ARE FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE. ~ HE following head-lines were clipped from a recent issue of one of our leading dailies: “An Italian shot in the tenderloin district.” “A Jerseyman badly stabbed in the Bowery.” “A bicyclist hurt on the boulevard.” “Child struck in the annex by a trolley-car.” “A Chinaman burnt in his opium-den.” CELERITY, HaCre FOOT-BALL HAIR. CAPTAIN JACKSON (0f the African football tram)—* Can de boys depen’ on yoah suppo't when dey gits deir {oot-ball rigs?” Barbek BLACK—""Suppo't' No, sah! Mah ha'r-cuttin’ profits dun fell off fifty po’ cent. since dem crazy niggahs let deir kinks grow. Whad yo’ s’pose Z'se gwine toe depen’ on fo" suppo't ef dat fad keeps up much longah?” ~.CUPID DEFIED. ¢ “THE spirit of invention is like the measles,” observed Mrs. Marrow- fat; “it attacks most people while they're young. ‘There's my son Zeke. It was only the other day that I caught him working out a most extraordinary crotchet. “ ‘What are you doing there? I asked as I came upon him quite unawares. “*Don’t bothet me now, mommer,’ says he, ‘I'm making something for Sister Jane. She's got so many beaux she needs it.’ “+ What do you call it, Zeke?” “*Lain’t got no name for it yet, but I guess I'll call it the anti-Cupid bullet-proof corset.’” And Mrs. Marrowfat looked as only a woman can look whe is the mother of a.genius. NO HOUSE COMPLETE WITHOUT ONE. Agent—"1 have some new mottoes, ma'am, that are selling fast.”" " FESSION B = Woman—" 1 have all the mottoes I want.” Pe selascabesl GR ANDER Reece Agent—"Here’s one for the dining-room—* Look out for the vermi- Dee Cheek Tee ay! Ne Bie way: form appendix ‘—very appropriate for the grape season.” Sure. He plays de bass-dram in Casey's band.” Woman—V'll take one of those, young man.” THOSE “ TOOTH-PICK” SHOES AS LIFE-PRESERVERS. A tale of to-day. comicbooks.com