Judge — September 29, 1894 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

CHOLLY'S FOUR EX. PRESSIONS, uit) BORED NO MATTER how the skies may frown, “This world is rollin’ right— A san for every mornin’ ‘An’ a star for every night. Then shout your hallelujah An’ raise your sweetest tune. If we're freezin’ in December We'll be warm enough in June. No matter how the tempest blows, ‘This world is rollin’ right. The summer burns to red the rose, The winter makes it white. Then shout your hallelujah In mornin’ ti If we're freer “That's a mighty pretty We'll be warm enough in June. girl coming. — No matter what the people say, ‘This world with beauty beams. ‘There's sun enough for makin’ hay An’ dark enough for dreams. ‘Then shout your hallelujah, For we'll git to glory soon. If we're freezin’ in December We'll be warm enough in June. TRANK L. STANTON. IT WON'T BE SEEN. just look, Maud how long that horrid dressmaker has cut my bathing-dress !” ‘There are no men here, any way.” THE ASYLUM FOR NOVEL-READERS. M|SS SAMANTHA SNIGGINGS had long con- templated founding a hospital for disabled novel-readers, and for that reason hoarded her in- come to a point of miserly impecuniosity. Alter years of self-denial she at last had pos- session of a generous sum with which to erect a noble monument to her name. As a result there arose in Hagerstown the world-famed institution known as The Snigging: The first patient admitted was a follower of the realistic school. He objected to the ice-cream because it was too cold to be natural, and insisted on a temperature of seventy degrees to make it comport to the ideas of Howellhewrites, Jameshis- mark, and other noted realists. He derided Miss Samantha’s pickles as having metamorphosed the cucumber. He declared the pie-crusts to be mere imitations of leather. He swore at the red nose of the cook as a plagiarism on Mr. Pickwick, He drift ed into hopeless insanity at the sight of the crazy- quilt on his bed as a work of imagination. He was then shut up in the strait-jacket and died because the interior was not done in terra cotta to harmo- nize the light and minister to his esthetic senses. The Sniggings was closed abruptly after the funeral, Miss Samantha was willing to care for poor beings who had suffered from reading the works of fictionists, but she couldn't stand the Bowser’ Svanceas "tay, bums gems a deiok welll ser? graduates of the school of naturalness who wanted Bar-TENDER—" Naw! Me orders is ter give drinks ter nobody.” _her to whitewash the pig when he was dirty. Bowery STAccers—" Dat's me, boss. I'm nobody.” WILLIAM Mt. BALLOU. Pouce Z| STATION ZASTATION, —cur, by Jove NOT ON THE SURFACE. ++ DID you see'the man that spoke to me Know him?” my great- dum! I didn’t no- THOUGHT IT WAS DYNAMITE, tice anything great about w i il elie ILD-EVED STRANGER—"'T have something here that will Speake in.” him, knock the daylights out of 8. ——cockroaches, water-bugs, and all other vermin.’ comicbooks.com