Judge — September 22, 1894 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Ww, J. Amami. a aca PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. ._ TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. GNCTED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. One copy, one vear, or s2 numbers - $5.00 One copy, six months, or 26 numbers - 3.s0 One copy. forty weeks Tncluding the Cnwerwas jupcs. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—Te alt for ign countries im the pottal union, ‘a year. THe Jupox PUBLIsHinL COMPANY (JupcE BurLpINa). Cor, Fifth Ave, and 16th Street, New York. (W-We guarantee advertisers a larger circulation than any other American satire cal paper published. le at Brentane’s ‘treet, Strand, Londo London? at Sa: 18 Con Stephanstrasse id ty Ch. B. Alicth, Geneva, Switreriand. awn $27 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Junce are protected by copy: Fight in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. THEY ARE NOW making guns that eee THE COMMUNE OF PELF—The late Democratic congress of the United States. an resist bullet-proof cloth. HE JEALOUSY among the leading anarchists is bitter indeed. Might we suggest bombs ? [8 CONDEMNING congress for rob- bing the people Mr. Cleveland found it_ necessary to emphasis to rob Tom Moore, vee WRITER says Saratoga isithe wick- edest_ gambling-place in the country. Well, now, what about the senate of the United States ? 3 WHAT CYCLING DID for Mr. Fe guson—He was nervous and hys- and had fits. Now he has nothing but-a cracked skull and epilepsy. eee THERE IS NOTHING left of the Democratic idea of free trade; but there is free speech enough on the sub- ject to blow the shingles off the roof. A MR. KELLY, a burglar, confessed in court the other day that he stole for aliving. If he had been a senator he would have called for an investi- gation, THE HON. MCAULIFFE was other ma cently awarded a fight won by the The referee mugwump and could consistently give no other decision, MOWBRAY, anarchist, hates the effete monarchies, and took a deli- cious satisfaction in returning to the mean thing he had got away from them. GEORGE LLOYD of New Rochelle said the other day that she had been kissed by Mary Lease. because he was eighty years old. about as soon’ as He looked tired, but perhaps that was THE GOVERNMENT of China has men enough without calling for the return of Chinamen here; but it can have them allee samee, if it causes paralysis in Mott street and breaks up half our Sunday-schools. A EADY says that cooking means “the patience of Job, the persistence of the pilgrim fathers, and the martyrdom of Joan of Arc.” She doesn’t say whether these virtues belong to the cook or the cook's victims, LIGHT THAT FAIL NEW DAYS AND NEW WAYS. F THINGS were to be done or omitted solely according to precedent there would never be any precedent. It is fortunate that there are men who have the courage and the ability to create precedent. ‘The grand- fathers were wise men, but their ways were not fitted to all the conditions of this period. THE DEMOCRATIC HOBOES. HE KEYNOTE of this campaign, says Senator Hill, speaking for the Democratic party with a sad, sweet smile back of his ears, is opposi- tion to trusts. He probably refers to the sugar trust, the coal truss, and the iron trust; and doubtless this is his motto for the struggle—" Put your trust in heaven and let your powder flash in the pan.” A VERY CHEAP MAN. T IS SAD to read that Mr. Cantwell of Oklahoma sold his wife for one hundred dollars and a colt, because the value received was beggarly. If he had had a daughter and sold her for a foreign title, paying a differ- ence of a million or so, he would have had a worse bargain; but he would at least have preserved his respectability and he might have got himself into the very highest society. WHY HE SHIRKS. THE, PRESIDENT does his swearing surreptitiously, and relies on Catchings and Wilson to report it to the newspapers. This is not characteristic of the man who was wont to “put his foot down”; but let us not call it cowardly until it is definitely known whether the man has gout or bunions, or whether, like the rest of the country, he feels that there is not English language enough to do the tariff subject justice. THE PARTY OF THE COWARDS. THE DEMOCRATIC “PARTY. will find it hard to defend itself in this statethis year and in the national contest of ‘ninety-six. “Te'is convicted. by. its chief leader of perfidy, dishonor, falsehood, humbug, and all manner of chicanery, and its declarations ‘ts to what it means to do are abortive in the face of the vil- Ieiny of which it confesses itself guilty. As Mr. Cleveland has indirectly suggest- ed, it had better go off somewhere and shoot itself in the back, THE RIGHTS OF A LIBERTINE. A DESCENDANT of Robert Peel de- clares that he will marry a Miss San- ford, an American girl, peaceably if he D. can and forcibly if he must. Her friends ghters vas bositively der Object because he is a libertine; but he sa says in effect, “What young man isn't a libertine?” and frankly adds, “ Of course I took Langtry from Gebhard, but what of that?” One might imagine that this person had been brought up in Kentucky as well as in England, and that he will presently begin to deliver addresses in young ladi i naries, WHEELS AND BLOOMERS, WHETHER WOMAN should ride the bicycle, and whether if she *¥ doesshe may wear bloomers, are questions which are agitating some daily newspapers to the extent of columns every day. Perhaps the woman-can ‘settle them all alone. by herself, It all depends ‘pon the woman. Some women will make anything immodest, and some won't: and as for the blodmers all the woman bas to-do is to put them on and exhibit herself—there is nothing to: prevent—and then go home and cry about it, as any good woman will: SOME. ENGLISH PATRIARCHS. AX IRISH MEMBER of parliament says the house of lords is a house of individuals who are not sutficiently wise to know their own fathers and mothers. Perhaps some of them have that wisdom; but it is a tax on their memories to recall the more ancient history of their several hous which is if possible more disastrous to their susceptibilities, to have any, than the modern records. They certainly do know on which side the English tax-payers butter their bread; and why should they fatigue themselves by painful investigations which can do no good? if they happen comicbooks.com