Judge — September 15, 1894 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

When the goat ‘* presses the buttin' things have to go.—Plain Dealer. Cook's Imperial, World’s Fair “highest award, excellent champagne; good efferves- cence, agreeable bouquet, delicious flavor.” The church treasury now beginneth to pick out mutilated and foreign coin brought home vy seashore visitors, —Pailadelphia Call. Mrs, Winstow’s Soorttinc Syxur for Chil- Iren ‘leething ; soothes the child, softens the sms, allays all pain, cures wind colic andediar- rhoea. - 25 cents a bottle. TO BE A BRAKEMAN. T want to be a brakeman, Dog gone ! Legs hangin’ over the edge of a flat car; Train goin’ ‘bout twenty-live mil'n hour ; Kickin’ the dog-fennel ‘long the track— ‘That's what a brakeman does. I want to be a brakeman, T jing! the boys git off the platform ; Cussin’ the drayman if the skids is lost ; Hollers ** Back ‘er a length,” and the engineer has to— ‘That's a brakeman for ye! No conductor for me; just a brakeman, By hen ! Can make a couplin’ on dead run ; Mas spring-bottom pants ‘n braid on his clothes ; Carries a lantern at night ‘'n cap over his ears— | That's a brakeman, I'll tell ye! I want to be a brakeman, Geeminently ! Stand in with the agents and operators ; Knows the number of the trains; chaws ter- backer— He's a regular one, you bet ! *N want to be head brakeman, Gol-lee ! Vwistin' ‘er hard ; smoke rollin’ round ye ; Country people stoppin’ work to look ; Girls wavin’ at ye all the way to Perue— T'll be one too some day. —Chicago Recor For Chafing, DANDRUFF, Prickly. Heat, and Odors from Perspiration, use that delightful balsamic cleanser and Antisept Packer’s Tar Soap. Admirer—"' Where did you get all this w derful strength?" Famous strong man—"1 was a carver in a boarding-house for three years."—Syracuse Post. We don’t believe a long-haired man knows any more about medicine than a short-haired man,—Atchizon Globe. The fashionable ladies’ corrective tonic is Angostura Bitters, the world-renowned tonic of Dr. J. G. B. Siegert & Sons. Ask your druggist. The Georgia rattlesnake is out in all his glory, and the snake-liars are sewing on the buttons and rattling away at a great rate,— A‘. Janta Constitution, * How did Officer Dulan get the silver medal he wears?’ “It was for bravery.” “* What did he do?" ‘* Walked by three fruit-stands without taking anything.""—/uter-Ocean. A FOOLISH QUARREL. First Biddy Cluckcluck found a nice crust of bread, But Biddy Cutarety snatched it instead. ‘Then Biddy Brown got it and scampered away, And after her ran Biddies ‘opknot and Gray. But with racing and chasing and fighting for it ‘They could not get time to just nibble a bit; ‘And what do you think? When their bed-time had come Not one of these chickies had tasted a crumb! —New York Recorder, Stealing a man’s clothing when he is bathing is a pretty safe business, as it is evident that the victim has no redress.—Lored! Courier. + Wren they’s fifty of us together,” said Mr. Walkabout Beggum, “they feed us an’ pay our railroad fare sos to git us to move on. strike a town they make me move on in’ me on. I'm goin’ to organize an ABSENT MINDED. Mas.. DANAR.—" You have forgotte n your hat again, Professor.” Proresson DANAR.—‘‘Dear me, so I have. The fact is, my love, it's a Knox Iat and fits so perfectly that I never know whether I have it upon my head or not, unless somebody calls my attention to it.” THE CELEBRATED SOHMER Pianos are the Best. 149-165 E. 14th St., New York. he buving public will please not con” found the ‘Sonmex Piano with one of a similarly. sounding name of cheap grade. Our name spells— | GNADIAN (By WHISKY ‘The age and genuineness of THIs Whisky are guaranteed by the Excise Department of the Canadian Government by certificate over the capsule of every bottle. From the mo- ment of manufacture until this certificate is affixed the Whisky never leaves the custody of the Excise Officers, No other Govern ment in the World provides for consumers this independent and absolute guarantee of purity and ripeness. “Ganadian Club” ‘Whisky is particularly adapted for medici- TH VIN MARIANI FORROURISHES Body and Brain STIMULATES REFRESHES Indorsed by eminent Physicians everywhere. ‘ect ir pavecters ano cnocrns, Sent Fre@, atsom: 75 portmarrs| and AUTOGRAPHS of Celebrities. 2oth Edition, postpaid for asc. (or stamps). THE HUMAN HAIR, Why it Falls Off, Turns Gray, and the Remedy. By PROF. HARLEY PARKER, F. R.A. C.K. Loxc & Co. 1013 Arch St., Philadeiphia. Pa, “iBvery one should read this little book.”"—A thenaum. TROY IMPROVED CHLORIDE OF GOLD CURE. Hngendera no Loss of Nerve force. Patlente treated, at Home... Correspondence solletted, N. D. CRAY, tnanager, sa1-S2 hirk Butlding, Syracuse, N. ¥. Men: tion Jupox. All in a row upon the stage Sit rye and wheat, the nation’s rations, And corn and oats, and flax as well, Ready for graduation, Exacting days are these afield ; ‘The harvester ’s on top, A-preaching to the cereals there ‘The baccalaureate of the crop. + —Afinneapolis Journal. If the Japs are as long-headed as they are reputed to be they will make all haste to organ- ize an Amazonian battalion among the servant- girls of America, Few warriors could beat them smashing China.—Mevo York Herald. With the advent of summer and its accom- nying disorders of the digestive organs, no family ought to be without BOKER'S BIT- TERS, the surest specific. “Is it true that your bride is very hard of hearing?’ ‘It is. “Why, when I proposed to -}her I had to shout so loud that all the neigh- bors ran out and congratulated me.” Bits, "ide MIXED PROVERBS. ‘A fool and his money love company.—Mis- ery begins at home.—The darkest hour covers a multitude of sins.—A stitch in time saves charity.—A bird in the hand is better than no bread.—All is not gold that dreads the fire. — | Better late than just before dawn.—'Tis a wise son that knows when the cat's away.—Half a loaf is better than all work and no play,—Aus- tin (Texas) Kolling Stone. A woman may forget a slight, but a compli- ment never.—Albany Argus. DEAFNESS and, HEAD NOISES relieved by usin, Wilson's ComMon-SENSE EAR DRUMS, New scientific invention, entirely ait- ferent In construction froth all other d Vices. Assiet the deaf when all other de- Vices fail, and where medical skill has given no rellet.” Safe, comfortable, in- Ninible, have no wire’ or string attach. me tment.” Write for pamphict. DRUM IN WILSON EAR DRUM Co. POSITION. Annap in the daytime is really helpful during the heated season, but it is not necessary to be so formal as to go to church for it.—Boston Transcript, LADIES WHO VALUE A refined complexion must use Pozzoni's Pow. der, It produces a soft and beautiful skia. BARRA, DAA IL M m Marry Your Trousers nal usc. When not obtainable from local the | THE “ CHESTER" is a suspender with an idea, dealers we will gladly supply consumers direct @ESTER viz:—enough strezch, all in the right place, and in Mux a enduring form, Our graduated elastic cord ends ‘upon application. make it the most comfortable and serviceable sus: i wernmen der in the world; moreover, neat, light, an A Sonnet erage we the eae Regant. Sample pair mailed for 60 ceuts. Tho guarantee, will be sent prepaid, by exprers, to Workers," made onrame plan, 25 cents, We also M make the well-known ‘* Century.” Ask for ‘‘Ches- tnd thay wil be contoruiy mp- { tor suspenders. Seo the graduated clastic cord. Leemtabren bab hein GHESTER SUSPENDER CO., No, § DECATUR AVE., ROXBURY, MASS, MARA RADA DOD any address in the United States on receipt of z We. in stamps, Distilled and Bottled by HIRAM WALKER & SONS (Limited), Walkerville, Canada. LONDON, NEW YORK, CHICACO, O27 Mang Lane, EC. 1382 Baoapway, 223 & 24 Momapsock Bock, | DXA Ld in comicbooks.com