Judge — September 8, 1894 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

uae. W. J. Aweene. Baxwnann Giitas. TM. Guacory, Editor PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. [ERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. QNETED STATES AND CAMADA.IN ADVANCE, One copy, one year. of s2 numbers - $5.00 One copy, six months, or 26 numbers - 3.50 One copy for sy weeks es nas Tacluding the Cersrwas Jupos. PORRIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all for (ign countries im the pottal union. A $6 4 year THe JuDoz PUBLISHING COMPANY (Junce BuILDING:, Cor, Fifth Ave, and 16th Street, New York We guarantee advertiers a larger circulation than any ether American satire cal paper published. (2 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Junce are protected by copy: eight in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted, WHAT LI HUNG CHANG needs to look afier now is his yellow hide. ° MB: FLOWER tells how to raise turnips with great theoretical ac- curacy. SEVERAL ANARCHISTS recently met for harmony too, and not a man threw a bomb, THER TALK 2 E IS TALK as to the leaders of the senate. The gentlemen of the sugar trust are the leaders of both houses. CHINA is in that warm place of which Zach Chandler frequently spoke, without a Japanese fan. WILLIAM R. GRACE t the way to whip the enemy is to get at the head of him and lead him to destruction. s+] AM NOT fond of crow,” said Mr. Cleveland at the house ban- queting board ; * but this isn’t so bad — we raised it ourselves, you know.” MUST pick our flints and try it again,” says a leading woman-suffragist. “ Hoora all the other suffragists, flint, will you?” exclaim HI “Give us a > WIAs — THE CHINESE are imitative and learn fast in the domestic and me- chanical arts, They have learned’ only two things in the matter of war, to die and to run away. ET US charitably suppose that when the late Mr. Caserio remarked “Courage, comrades,” he intended nothing worse than a little encour- agement to his executioners. THE“ WORLD" speaks of the compensations of the house surrender. There was the compensation of Jones, who was robbed down to and including his shirt, “Thank heaven!’ exclaimed Jones, “They've left the hide.” A MISS BLY, who claims to have knocked out Mr. Corbett, stipulated previous to the argument that James shouldn't hit/her on the nose. ‘That created a precedent; and. now Messrs Jackson and Corbett are in- sisting with great volubility that neither shall hit the other anywhere. THE SEPARATE BILLS providing for free sugar, iron, coal and barbed wire are a profuse apology for the mischief done by the free- trade, anti-trust, anti-monopoly party. It is common to lock the stable- door after the horse is stolen, but unique and startling to first steal, the horse so that there may be no mistake about it. QUALIFICATION, know you would make a good model ?” ‘Cause 1's sech er darned good sitter.” THE FURTHER QUESTION. ‘THE RIGHT OF SUICIDE having been partially vindicated, let us now reflect upon the duty of it. There are persons and governments that could hardly Occupy themselves more profitably. The question with the latter may even be whether they shall pass out of their own volition or presently be clubbed to death, and surely the former alternative is more graceful and satisfying. FAIR PLAY FOR OTHER MEN. F MR, MORTON were a poor man does anybody suppose he would be mentioned for governor of this state? Granting that he is amiable and deserving, it doesn’t follow that he must have the lion’s share of everything at all times. There are abler men than he who have a right to fair play, and if one of them were to be chosen and elected he would be a natural leader in the larger campaign of ‘ninety-six—and Mr. Morton would not. STATE AND NATION. SENATOR HILL says the new tariff law will give this state to the Republicans by fifty thousand majority, and David's figures hardly ever lie, “If there might be some way to get Flower and McKinley on the mutual stump to talk tariff, as has been threatened, the majority would be larger, and there would be so much fun that the state wouldn't be large enough to hold it. But the head of the Republican ticket ought to be able to run well in the nation as well as in the state. Let us bear that con- stantly in mind, GEORGE'S PERILS. GEORGE GOULD is no sailor. In a moment of inadvertence he stepped from the deck of the Vigilant to the water below, apparently to ex- amine the hull of the vessel, and was recovered with much difficulty. He had been dining with the prince of Wales. We don’t believe that explains the catastrophe, but he ought to know enough about sailing to see the differ- ence between the deck of a ship and the Atlantic ocean. Doesn't he know that he is in danger of being chosen secretary of the American navy? THE IMPUDENCE OF GOV- ERNMENT. THE INCOME TAX means that the government must know every detail of a man’s books and business. He is not at liberty to dissemble or assume. He must give the facts, on peril of punishment; and what the government knows the world knows. Men have fought for a better literty than this leaves them; and this con- dition comes to us as a new war-tax, a matter of necessity, in a period of peace, thirty years after the abolishment of that kind of impertinence as a thing unfit for freemen and not to be patiently borne. THE GREAT ROBBERY. TE = LATE CONGRESS was composed of Smith, Brice, Gorman and Vest, speculators in sugar and servants of the sugar trust. All the rest of it was superfluous, void, without effect, powerless, save as to its voluminous but insufficient wind. ‘There are about seventy million people under this government, and every one of them has been held up that the trust might make forty million illegitimate dollars and these four men achieve very largely increased private fortunes, The ballot-box ought to have something to say about that outrage. GOULD AND SOCIETY. HAVING DINED with the kaiser and the prince of Wales, young Mr. Gould has distanced the Astors and the Vanderbilts. It is neces- sarily a matter of money, and he has handled his money with more dex- terity than any other American millionaire. And he needn't be afraid of his family record. The records of the others are better and older, but at this period nobody inquires about them. Money is king, prince, and so- ciety leader in one, and properly enough; and he is the smartest million- aire who best uses his wealth to the end of his own glory. comicbooks.com