Judge — September 8, 1894 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

154 JUDGE IN THE SHOE DEPARTMENT. Mrs. Potter (who is stout)—" Seven dollars? Oh, dear, no! Something for three or four.” The experienced salesman (who wishes to close out a certain line)—“ The difficulty with the cheaper grade 0° shoes is, you can’t never fit ‘em to a foot like yours. I might slip this on?” Mrs. Potter Salesman— niling)—" But I can’t pay ""— This is 3 double A, { believe. That's S"the regulation size fer elegant- shaped feet. Look a’ that fit!” Mrs, Poller (in a weakening murmur)— “Yes; but, you see, just for or- dinary use "— Salesman (musingly)— “Let's easy enough fer me, with my expe- rience, to tell a lady jest by her foot. The ta- perin’ shape and the instep—you couldn't deceive me.” Mrs. Potter (flushed and complacent ) — “Perhaps you'd WIPING OFF THE SLATE AT DEADGULCH. Bab MAN (entering bar)—"* Size up dat muscle, old Redeye, an’take better show me plenty o’ time. Now, how much do | owe you fer drinks 7” Prorkinror (meekly)—" Five dollars.” x Bab MAN (roaring )—"* Wot! Come ‘roun’ dat bar an feel o' dat tle dif“— . Salesman —* something a lit- muscle, an’ den say how much L owes you. Nn WHAT YOU LIKED, TOO. A’ OLD maid came across these hints amongst some of her youthful serib- blings : When you are married and have daughters of your own remember ‘that once upon a time you liked — To giggle at the choir-boys To kneel on the street-c: ook out of the window. To lick all pans, kettles and dishes which had held any sweet substance; also the egg-beater when it was covered with frosting. To play guessing games with the F all in bed at night. at the scum from boiling jelly. y shiney and ball with the boys. your best clothes sometimes seat and DISCREET JUDGMENT. Keuey (captain of the Grasspullers, menacingl\—"* Fair decishun, dere. empire. I tagged de coon afore he teched de plate. Fair jedgment, dere. He's out ™ SWATTSY (captain of the Neversweats, who has licked the umpire, ferociousl)— “Dat man’s safe, empire. He cud read er book on dat plate afore Kelly tagged “im. J-e-d-g-m-e-n- StuMPIE (the umpire, end who has licked Kelly)—" S-A-¥-8! dead safe! An’ I fine Cappen Kelly t'ree bats fer tryin’ ter intimmerdate de empire. D-l-a-y ball!" NECESSARY MEASURES. Manacer Mucains (Aarshiy) —"" See here. Fangsy, dis is a continerous performance, I'll allow. But I wun't allow dis conti erous performance o' yer g in’ out fer a drink after each ack. Fust ting yer knows yer'l git nailed by wun o' ce snakes !” Puoressor FANGS (the snake-charmer)—“* Say, boss, you ain't onter my snap, Dere’s nuthin’ like havi yer system chock fall 'r de antidote w'en yer fust gits bit. See?" Idon’t knowebut we sell more 4 A’s than 3 dotle A’s, even Pror to ladies with the han’somest feet.” Mrs, Potter (feebly) —" These shoes are so thin. I wanted "—— Salesman — ven a han'some foot looks bad in a cheap shoe; and, besides that, a common shoe on such a foot hurts its conture after a while. Yow hadn't ought to wear nothing, but shoes o” this kind—never. You'll wear these home and have your old ones’ sent, won't you?” Mrs. Potter (seeing by the mark that they are 44 C, but with her gratification unimpaired) —" I—er—I may as well.” KMIMA A. OFFER. A GREAT COUNTRY. Dennis (just over)—" Phat’ things runnin’ up thim buildin know?” O'Loon—"Thim's fire-escapes, shure.” Dennis “Ye don’ say! An’ do the fire escape up an’ doon thim things ?” thim iron » 1 don* TOR ( gleefully)—"* You don't owe me nothin’ now, Dan; Thad a headache before you come in, Wot'll y" have ?” Dar ah news.—D aot make who kin | des’ nose. home is a tah how | sits quite fo’ shower widout er Cook's award, € cence, ag “How d br Task “1 know sa * But Mrs. dren ‘Te gums, al rheea. } Heart are ripe —Kate Le Tot me to: toon w! titled * indeper | otic thi proud patron If fore United and fe go bac with © free. ernor \ office | ing fla comicbooks.com