Judge, 1894-09-01 · page 5 of 16
Judge — September 1, 1894 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from the satirical magazine **Judge** contains multiple unrelated humorous sketches typical of late 19th-century American humor: **"Self-Confidence" (Baxter Street)**: A Jewish immigrant character ("Mr. Lichtenstein") warns his wife Rebecca to bring the baby inside because "der healt' officer" is coming—likely mocking tenement-district poverty and health inspections of immigrant neighborhoods. **"One Child's Fancies"**: Innocent observations children make, playing on their misunderstandings of the world. **"Well Dressed"**: A joke about Congressman Breckinridge's expensive suit costing fifteen thousand dollars—likely satirizing political vanity or corruption. **"Sentences Passed by the Judge"**: Philosophical musings on life, weather, and nature. **"A Sure Winner" and "No Doubt of It"**: Sketches using stereotypical African American dialect humor (common in this era) about Pullman porters and domestic servants. **"Living Pictures"**: Contrasts theatrical performance with reality. The page reflects Judge's characteristic mix of political, social, and everyday humor, though some content reflects period prejudices.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE SELF-CONFIDENCE. BAXTER STREET. R Mr. Lichtenstein—"* Repecca, Re- pecca! take in der paby. Der healt’ officer ‘s coming !" ONE CHILD’S FANCIES. GHE thought that all cats were infant dogs. She thought that only good people were allowed to die. She thought that the furry ends of long grass turned into caterpillars. She thought, when the clergyman raised the plate above his head after doughnut Oi kin roide this ma- ” the offering, chine as well as th’ mis- Le that God sus fer all she thinks her- z silf so foine. — é & Pe reached down and WELL DRESSED. YAMS . Lek ahs * HO is the best- fn - Ww dressed man heaven and _ ress afterward in the fifty-third_ con- gave itround gress? ™ Breckinridge.” “Why ?” “Because his spring suit cost fifteen thousand dollars."" — Oi knowed it war aisy.” ¥ A SURE WINNER. Mrs. Jounson— Yo' hab t' hustle now, man. Dat onery Mrs. Jackson's husban’ hab jes’ got a job as Pullman porter an’ gwine t" buy es ~ SENTENCES PASSED BY THE ‘ ™ j ane te Jomssox—"* Calm yo'self, Lobelia, 1 JUDGE. oi Gide jes’ been ‘lected gran’ master an’ hanger-on. le. ie §, treasury ob de brudderhood ob Pullman porters. I'll WHEN its skies are serene the soul has order a strike right away little favor to ask of the weather- fyi gars + es. an’ Jackson will hab t move bureau. —— af een Gq into-a tenement. ‘There is nothing godly in the clean- lines that flips my neighbor's sweepings into my yard, Life is to each according to the square of his mentality; but even an angel, with the advantage of distance and clear vision, could not get more than a bird's-eye view of the world and a glimpse of the universe. Nature is the most determined of her sex and-is not easily turned aside from her course. Emergencies are met with expediencies, she has a thousand precautions for every possible mishap, and if you hope by your arts to outwit her in her simple savagery the chances are that without malice or suspicion she will redouble her efforts and, deviating only to accomplish her purpose, will triumph in spite of you. KATHRINH GROSJEAN. “<Shtop it! Shtop us — Something wrong. NO DOUBT OF IT. Mrs. Pinscrew —"Ate these stockings fast black, or do they crack?” Clerk—*“ Well, yes'm, they LIVING PICTURES. crack a little, byt you will find that How they appear to the audience — —~and what they are. the crack is fast black.” comicbooks.com