Judge — August 25, 1894 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THERE COMES A TIME. THE matter of patience,” said the shade of old Job, ** Tadmit I outrank ; On that I'm a crank (My innermost self; though, you'd better not probe) But lived 1 in Manhattan, And rode on the *L," ‘To be crushed, j immed and sat on, Vm afraid Vd say—well— To hang on a strap and still to pay fare? You can gamble your ultimate shekel I'd swear !" AT THE SEASHORE, Priscilla (just arrived) Phyllis —* Ob, there ar Priscilla shall accept it. “Are there any men here?” a few apologies for men.” Well, if an apology is offered to me 1 WHEN WOMEN SERVE ON JURIES. Mr. B. (ceturning late from the club and surprised to find his wife at home)—* Why, Mary, | expected that your jury would be locked up over night.” “It did look like it, John. There were ten of the most obstinate men on it [ ever met. They wouldn't listen to a word of reason.” “But you brought them over to your side at last ?” “Indeed we did. Mrs. Lilywhite had a fit of hysterics and I think that convinced them how wrong they were.” First narner—" Jiminy ! look at the * Chollys.’ SECOND BAKHER — A KEEN ADVERTISEMENT. Where did they all come from?" sh! Editor Flip jus’ come back from Europe yest'd’y, an’ de boss give him a tenner t’ put in d’ paper dat d" prince o” Wales had shaved off his beard.” THE HEATED TERM. | SAT upon an ice-machine One white-hot day of \ugust, Fearing that I would dessicate To wooden god or sawdust T took my pen to write a sketch Of what I saw about, And lit my pipe with point of it White underneath a-spout. 1 saw a star just tip our air And leave with fiery tail ; Upon a piece of toasted bread ‘There came and sat a quail, A dog picked up a marrow-bone, But dropped it with a how! ; My fingers fried like parsnips As IL lanced his blistered jow!. A cat let off its midnight best ‘And climbed a charréd post, Which saved a little red-hot mouse Ats little red-hot ghost. A MENTAL WRECK. JRALous WiFE—"*[ wish to consult you confidentially concerning my husband, He seems to be completely infatuated with me, but” — DIVORCE LAWYER (interrupting) —" That is sufficient for a divorce, madam ; he is suffering from hallucinations.” PATERNALLY DYED IN THE WOOL. Fatuer Jackson —"* Now we'll see which fambly he tooks aftah.” Farner Jackson —" Kiah ! golly ! A kitten stopped and spat upon The flame that “gan to rise From off its warped, revolving tail, As sparks flew in its eyes. Some hens that went t9 lay their eggs Metamorphosed their cackle From noisy joy and pleasure to A cry demoniacal A cook stood piling ice within The fire-box of a stove ; Her buttons flew like drops of lead, With every heave she hove. A milkmaid lost her plumpness, ‘As she melted on her stool, And said she would not milk again Until the cows got cool. A chambermaid exemplified In one capacious blister Exactly how and when and where ‘The summer boarder kissed her I laid my scorched paper down, For gone the power of writing When fingers dry burst into flame And matters grow exciting. CHARLES MC ILVAINE. He am a bohn Jackson.” comicbooks.com