Judge, 1894-07-21 · page 6 of 16
Judge — July 21, 1894 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains six separate satirical pieces typical of late-19th-century American humor: **"The Cheese Market"** mocks rural clergy—a parson complains the deacon's cheese rent payment was poor quality, mirroring the parson's own weak preaching. **"According to the Code"** jokes about hiring deaf-and-dumb servants, with a man claiming expertise from prior "signal-service" work (military signaling). **"Nothing Mean About Her"** presents dark humor about elderly relatives, with a grandmother hoping to outlive younger family members. **"Testimony That Counts"** satirizes insanity pleas in court, suggesting writing comic operas proves mental illness. **"We Learn..."** expresses anxiety about women's suffrage, mocking an Indiana newspaper report that girls are extracting teeth to create dimples—questioning whether such "frivolous creatures" deserve voting rights. **"Roses"** is sentimental poetry about choosing flowers for a sweetheart. **"His Achievement"** and **"The Burglar Made a Mistake"** are brief humorous anecdotes. The page reflects period anxieties about women's rights, rural-urban divides, and class distinctions.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE CHE Country Parson —"'I don't like to say nothin’, deacon, but Deacon —" I"r'aps it wuz, parson ; but so wuz the preachin’,”” MARKET, at cheese you sent me for your year's pew rent wuz powerful poor.” Jy , ACCORDING TO THE CODE, f / + + LJOW do you get along with the deaf-and-dumb servant?” “Very well. You know I once belonged to the signal-service.” NOTHING MEAN ABOUT HER. Auntie—* Never mind, grandma, if you are sick. You'll outlive us all yet.” Grandma (with a sigh)—" 1 hope so, dear.” TESTIMONY THAT COUNTS. $+) YOU suppose his plea of insanity will work?” “It ought to; he claims to have written three comic operas. WE LEARN from the Indianapolis Suz that the girls of Marion, Indiana, are pulling their side-teeth with the purpose of produc- Own serrurk— Call this er flood? Why, I kin recollict "— ing dimples. What are we to do when these frivolous creatures get the right to vote? ROSES. WHICH shall 1 choose for my sweet to-night— Roses of yellow or red or white? Gold for her smile and her sunny hair, Red for the flush that her cheeks shall wear, White for her soul and the secrets there. Which shall be laid on her childish breast ? Caskets of perfume hold thou the test— Yellow for gold and the world’s decree, Red for a love and its slavery, White for the robe of a saint to be. Strange how I shrink from the sweet design ; *Tis but a fai Fate would not come at a mortal’s call To lurk in the rose of a girl's first ball— I-I think I'l take violets, after all awhim of mine— HIS ACHIEVEMENT, Marjorie —" Charlie broke the record.” Mildred —" What record?” Marjorie—"Nou know this house is five minutes’ walk from the station? Well, he walked it in three-quarters of an hour.” THE BURGLAR MADE A MISTAKE. BuRGLar—"‘Hist, some one 's comin’! Guess I'll make er jump fer it out of dis window.” ee comicbooks.com