Judge, 1894-07-07 · page 6 of 16
Judge — July 7, 1894 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from Judge satirizes American Fourth of July culture and contemporary social attitudes circa the late 1800s/early 1900s. **Main Satirical Targets:** 1. **"The Hero of the Hour"** mocks children's dangerous behavior with fireworks—the "hero" isn't a boy taking blind children to school, but one who can light firecrackers between his teeth, referencing the common childhood injuries from Independence Day celebrations. 2. **"The Glorious Fourth"** poem sarcastically celebrates July 4th's noise and chaos (toy cannons, fireworks, eagle screams disrupting sleep), critiquing the holiday's dangerous excess and social disruption. 3. **"A Dead Give-Away"** jokes about children making homemade explosives ("powder-mines"), highlighting parental anxiety over unsupervised dangerous play. 4. **"The Worst Always Happens"** darkly notes a child's concern is less about falling overboard than losing his firecrackers—commentary on misplaced priorities. The **"Judgments"** section offers cynical observations on relationships and social customs, typical of Judge's satirical wisdom columns. The overall message critiques Fourth of July recklessness and period gender/social attitudes.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AN EXCEPTION. OST storms are mysteries to the mind Of men like you and me: Rut snow-storms seem *¢ be the kind THE HERO OF THE HOUR. q ff Bobby Bright—" Tommy BL Kelly is the most popular .. boy on the block.” Mrs, Bright —" He must be the little dear who takes the blind children to school every day.” Bobby Bright —" Naw, he ‘A COOL-AIR MACH ain't. He's the feller what Mr. Heavyweight’s scheme for keep- 2" fire a cracker off between ing cool during the summer. his teeth.” The drift of which we see E SS al A FIGHT AND WHAT DEN CHAN ME OF IT; OR, A SUD- NOSES. A DEAD GIVE-AWAY. Brown —" How did you find out where Johnnie made the powder-mine?” Mrs. Brown —"When 1 sent him up to the garret he begged’ me to lock him up in THE WORST ALWAYS HAPPENS. Merritt—* Jonnie fell overboard.” Cora—*Is that what he’s crying about?” Merritt—" No; he had all his fire-crackers in his pocke THE GLORIOUS FOURTH. POLETY boom! Pop-ity boom ! "Kah for the fourth of July! ‘The eagle's loud screams bother our dreams, toy cannon—and die— Oh, fire a toy cannon and die! JUDGMENTS. NLY a fool fishes with a gold hook. Custom is oftentimes an ignoramus grown old. * Love me little, love me long, me of it occasionally. Day when our fathers stepped on the tail, ‘Tail of the Hsitisher’s beast ! Why, nbeck’s show is painfully slow Since fion-taming really has ceased— Oh, lion. 4g Teally has ceased ! and remind Daughters and sons, daughters and sons, a nd dames, all boys for making a noise 4 your pedigree’s claims— Ves, shouting your pedigree’s claims ! s “Put yourself in his place,” but don’t expect to stay there for- ever. To kick the man who S present pastime of tresses seems to be Vatsy and Fritz, Henri and John, o lie off, that of making assorted col- lections of husbands. ion the Fourth ‘es, Americans all on the Fourth, the dog. There are many good wo- men who make bad wives, and vice versa. Vop-i-ty boom! Pop-i-ty boom ! Fireworks and picnics and speech, The dam that's done with unloaded gun Kemembet and then let him screech ! Ves, ‘tah! Let the big eagle screech ! EDED SALTING SUNDAY-SCHOOL TEACHER" Why was Lot's wife turned into a pillar of salt ‘Tosimy —"* ‘Cause she was too fresh.” comicbooks.com