Judge, 1894-07-07 · page 11 of 16
Judge — July 7, 1894 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising**, not political satire. It contains commercial ads for products like beer, soap, bicycles, whiskey, and patent medicines typical of the era. The few non-advertising items are brief **humorous quips** rather than political cartoons: - A joke about bald men at the ballet - A tall tale about a naturalist shooting a snake that takes seven hours to die - A comment on Colonel Oates' weight and tendency to talk excessively - Observations on grammar and modest behavior These are gentle, domestic humor pieces—no political figures or events are identifiable or referenced. The page reflects late 19th/early 20th-century American magazine conventions, mixing light social commentary with extensive paid advertising. There is no significant satire to decode; the content is entertainment and commercialism.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The ballet, ‘tis no solemn show, And yet it oft appears That bald heads in a shining row Suffuse the front in tiers. —Vale Record. Low's Soorittne SyKur for Chil- 1d, softens the ail pain, cures wind colic and diar 25 cents a bottle. thea. + Suddenly, to his horror, a large portion of the log detached itself from’ the parent stem and, in the shape of a big snake, evidently ready for dinner, made straight for the tooth- some spectator. ‘The naturalist withdrew to his base of supplies, some thirty yards away, seized his gun and considered the situation’ The snake was approaching rapidly ; flight was impossible. So he stood his ground and put a charge of heavy shot square into the reptile's brain, ‘The snake recognized that this was his cue to die, and he proceeded to do so in a man- ner that left no room for criticism. He took seven hours to finish the scene, dying at the rate of six feet an hour.—Rechester Democrat. Cook's Imperial. World's Fair est award, excellent champagne ; good efferves- cence, agreeable bouquet, delicious flavor.” Colonel Oates looked at him with emotion. He considered him as the venerable father of the income-tax ; asa heavy man weighing three hundred and twenty five pounds; as the man who wound up the cuckoo clock; with a fine career behind him; sixty inches round the waist. then, as he heard him pound the white- house mahogany and declare that he was — if he knew what to do, his hearer burst into tears over the folly of to be saved.—Lveni For Chafing, DANDRUFF, Prickly Heat, and Odors from Perspiration, use that delightful balsamic cleanser and Antiseptic, Packer’s Tar Soap. *‘Imperial” Is the Beer Of Health. Just right flavor {Just right body | Imperial Beer is the beer of beers—full of purity— without impurity—any first-class grocer will sup- ply you. Just right color |2 His good strong mouth! He wields it well. He works it just for all it’s worth, Not Samson's jawbone, famed, could tell Such mighty deeds upon the earth. He pulls the throttle open wide ‘And works it hard from side to side Up hill and down, through swamp and sand, It never stops, it never balks. Through air and sky, o'er sea and land, Me talks and talks, and talks and talks ; He talks and talks, and talks and talks; And talks and talks, and talks and talks, —Bob Burdette. For Cripple Creek Gold Field investments write Frank G. Peck, Colorado Springs, Colo- rado. Keference, Exchange National Bank. “Is Snyder what you would call a modest man?" ‘*He is that. Why, he is so modest that he always gues to sleep before beginning to snore."—Boston Transcript, ILL-TEMPERED BABIES are not desirable in any home. Insufficient nour- ishment produces ill temper, Guard aguinst fretful childresi by feeding nutritious and xestible food, The Gail Borden Eagle Iran Condensed Milk is the most successful of all infant foods. As illustrating the principle of patience on a monument, for old Billy MeGarrahan the Wash- ington shaft is about the proper place and size. Philadelphia Times, To flavor your Soda and Lemonade and keep your digestive organs in order get a bottle of the xeut Angostura Bitterg manvlactured by Gob, SIEGERT & SONS. Kill Shakespeare never studied English gram- mar in his life, nor Milton, nor Dryden, nor Pope, nor Spencer, nor the old man of the Netw Idea, We are glad of it, Grammar is all right for people who have time to speak it correctly and write it with clearness, but we are not built that way.— Red Lodge (Montana) New Idea, Hit is about as hard fer a man toe git out ob de white-house as hit is fer him toe git into hit, only hit ain't de same kind ob hard.—Ardan- saw Thomas Cat. ‘Is it possible the colonel is running for office?" ‘No; he hasn't run since the war.” —Allanta Constitution, As a specific against dyspepsia and as an appetizer, also for mixing in drinks, nothing is superior to MOKER'S BITTERS, renowned since 1828. If woman ever gets the ballot she will insist on the floating vote being displayed on bargain- counters. —Chicago Dispatch. ust think, captain ; the major has actually marvied the rich old maid.” Obviously he wanted to have his golden wedding at once.” Fliegende Blatter. The college man is not as great A man as he is rated. Even thermometers have degrees ‘And thus are graduated. —Boston Budget, Why is a good speller in a class of school children like a glass of champagne? Because they both goto the head.— Zexas Siftings THE CELEBRATED SOWMER Pianos are the Best. Warerooms: 149-155 E. 14th St., New York. Ccaumion-—the baying pull will plate not con found the ‘Sonwen Piano ‘one ef «similarly fending same of cheap grade: Our ame a Ry NINE PATTERNS, a POPULAR WEIGHTS. Are the Best. #2 Design, material, Workmanship and Finish. $100 to $135. Fitted with the world-famous Bartlett ** clinche "or Palmer Tire, SEND FOR HANDSOME CATALOGUE. REMINGTON ARMS COMPANY, Manufacturers of the Remington Fire Arms, of world-wide reputation. 313-315 Broadway, New York, gives vigor! Served at all Fountains and Buffets.| Sold in bottles by Druggists and Fancy Grocers. our & Company, Chicago. Extra Qualité Sec, uminy vintage 1854. Vin Brut, nin. Champagne. Sour Acewr ron U.S, AMTHONT ORCHS, Mo. 61 Ware ft, Hew Tort Cty, sgeeveucennncucaan nee 2You should ride a Columbia’), The popular mind is awake to the physical benefits and pleasures of wheel- ngasnever before. Fashion has set the seal of its approval on & the safety bicycle as a a means of out-loor exer- Ee > cise, Tobe in “good forin,” ride a Colum bia, which is the standard of bicycle “excellence, com! ig in the highest degree every essenti ality of design and construction. It is a wheel of lightness, grace, and beauty, with great speed and durability, and is lly guaranteed in every particular, The Idest riders, the best riders, the most intelligent _wheelmen of the country are iders of Columbias, POPE MFG. CO., Boston, New York, Chicago, Hartford. ‘Our catalogue is beautiful, interesting, and instructive. It is free at our agencies, oF we mail it for two two-ceat stamps, chy} Beadleston & Woerz, Empire Brewery, N. Y. City. ‘SUuensn cocuuvaneneuvavasnneacacceay auunsuangnecnnncun cuenta SOAP VASE PREVEN TS dues, wane, piteing of an, logging of asta pipes, sia. of SALA ‘RANE, RANTS. ‘more prompt attention and better service ig JObUE When auswering advertisements, ANITARY) FOR BEAUTY For comfort, for improvement of the com- [plexion, use only Pozzoni's Powder; there is nothing equal to it. THE POPULAR FRENCH TONIC VIN MARIANI REFRESHES Indorsed by eminent Physicians everywhere. Sent Fr@8, aisum’35'rorteams and AUTOGRAPHS of Celebrities. DING Tes iher Distilted and bottled by HiRAMWALKER&SPNS, LIMITED WALKERVILLE, CANADA ttle. Whist in the for m consumers direct upon appleaton. a owpesnampe, withthe unl Goperanra athe atted States on ei i a Granny 7 ince The age and genuineness of THs Whisky are guaranteed by the Excise De- partment of} the Canadian Government by Zertificate over the cay psule of every From the moment of manufacture until this certificate is affixed the never leaves the custody of the Excise Officers. No other Government ‘orld provides for es this independent and absolute of purity and ripeness. ‘Canadian Club’? Whisky is particular! icinal use. When not obtainable from local dealers we will gi: tee adapted ly supply at guaranteo, wil be sent prepald,by expresso any address “Heke RK. way. 293 & 298 'Honadnork Block. comicbooks.com