Judge, 1894-06-23 · page 6 of 16
Judge — June 23, 1894 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge magazine page contains multiple unrelated satirical pieces typical of late 19th-century American humor: **"Brain Versus Brutal Force"** (top): A visual gag about a child swallowing a ten-cent silver piece. The "gold-bug" reference alludes to the bimetallism debate—a major political issue pitting those favoring gold currency against silver advocates. The humor conflates personal and economic crises. **"The Depths Not Sounded"**: A dark joke about a ruined man whose wife and children have left, and his only remaining fear is boarding in Jersey (suggesting New Jersey was considered undesirable). **"His Idea of Heaven"**: A gentle joke where a child fears heaven would be lonely, brightened only by George Washington's presence—poking fun at American civic mythology. **"Situation Wanted" and "Had No Use for It"**: Short social comedies about employment and advertising effectiveness among merchants. **"Cause of the Failure"**: A proprietor's failed attempt to train a rude employee in customer service etiquette. The page is primarily humor rather than political commentary, reflecting Judge's mix of social satire and everyday observations.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
BRAIN VERSUS BRUTAL FORCE—A TALE OF WOE AND WE'VE-ALL- BEEN -THERE. —" TOO MUCH LIKE BIMETALLISM. SEYVHAT is the cause of the commotion in the house across the w: The son of the gold-bug that lives there has swallowed a ten-cent silver piece and the old man is nearly wild about it.” THE DEPTHS NOT SOUNDED. Wilson—" Wile and children gone, home taken, and health a wreck. Well, there’s one consolation—nothing worse can happen to me now.” Sympathetic friend —Yes, there could, old man. You might be tempted to board in Jersey.” CUM LAUDE. “VE never yet at college spent a day, And yet so many maids have jilted me I'm sure I ought to be allowed to say That I have won my bachelor’s de- gree. HIS IDEA OF HEAVEN. S+GRANDPA, I don’t want to go to heaven.” “You don’t want to go to heaven! Why not?" “I should be so lonesome there.” “Why would you be lonely VAN. there, my son? . SITUATION WANTED. “ Grandpa, it will be very lone- Young lady of good standing, tired of her present posi- vith only God and George tion, wishes to change it fora more desirable one as soon as Some with only God and George possible. ** Patience," box 1,000, N, Y, Advertiser. Washington there.” HAD NO USE FOR IT. *eYOU can’t sell one of those signs in there," said the jeweler to the agent who had some mottoes, “This is my busy day, “Why not?" asked the agent. “Because the man in that store doesn’t adverti ANY women, according to a writer, are becom- as ing Don Quixotes, CAUsK OF THE FAILURE, They certainly “Now, my boy, when a New nov (as proprictor's heave strike out with vant to smile pleasantly ies? creditor enters shortly after) ni and say very polit jood-morning, sir, Ts ‘Hey. dere, old last-century Ay. 2LOUt as definite a there anything I can do for you?"” by-night! Is dere anythitig me or PUrpose with regard New nov—" I tumble,” de boss kin do yer fer?” tothe thing tobe hit, ProreieToR customer enters y« nomicbooks:qom