Judge, 1894-06-16 · page 6 of 16
Judge — June 16, 1894 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from Judge contains several brief satirical pieces targeting American society circa late 1800s/early 1900s: **"Something Wrong"** mocks the postal service for employing fourth-class postmasters to handle first-class mail—a jab at civil service incompetence. **"Not Mated"** jokes about a poet "wedded to the Muse" marrying an actual woman—suggesting artistic pretension creates poor real-world relationships. **The sketches on the right** appear to depict a man attempting to stop a "hot grounder" (baseball reference), with comedic results. **"From the French"** tells of an artist marrying a butcher; after his death, the artist becomes fat, silent, and butcher-like—satirizing how marriage and business corrupt artistic souls. He reveals he has four other wives, mocking both infidelity and the artist's hypocrisy. **"Effect of an Initiation"** shows a stock exchange initiation hazing, where Mr. Heavyswinger gets beaten up upon joining—commentary on Wall Street brutality or exclusionary practices. The overall tone targets postal incompetence, artistic pretense, marital discord, and financial institutions.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
SOMETHING WRONG. +S THERE'S an incongruity for you. ~ What is?” “The idea of fourth-ciass postmasters handling first-class mail.” HE AYS that he is wedded to the Muse (Ab, what a curious combina tion !). I do not see how she can help refuse To sue him for a separation. NOT MATED. ON BUSINESS. Hazel—"Will you believe it, during my long and serious illness only one of my relatives called on me.” Nutle—"And why did he 7el—" Oh, he is an un- AND HIS OUTRAGED FEELINGS WERE RELIEVED. Voice (from above, to Smith, who, in search of cider, has oth ' hea come a**header")—"* John, dear, have you broken the pitcher?” SMI =" No; sikh, “Bat here Itigoes dertaker. YES, BUT WITH CUSS WORDS. SLEEPING IT OFF. TIE ocean's heaving breast is stilled ; The swaying deep In quiet lies, appearing filled With heavy sleep, Like one who, drunk with luscious wines, In stupid slumbering reclines Two breezes skim that sea of glass, In softest tone Says one, ** Old Ocean, ab, alas! Ie should have known, That yacht he swallowed down, my dear, Was just a drop too much, I fear.” FROM THE FRENCH. HE artist was tall, the butcher short; the artist was slim, the butcher fat; the artist talked much and said little; the butcher talked little and said much; the artist was SFFECT OF AN INITIATION. Percent (sith coat torn and hat smashed) —"" Let me antroduce Mr, Ieavyswinger, the famous ex-half-back of Princeton.” STKEET—"'I'm pleased to meet Mr. Heavyswinger. But what the deuce has happened to you, Percent, to make you look so dilapidated?” Prxcenr—" Mr. Heavyswinger became a member of the stock exchanye to-day and we initiated him.” dark, the butcher red; the artist could draw a land- scape, the butcher a cheque. She loved the artist; she married the butcher. Withm the year the butcher was gathered to his fathers; within the year the artist forsook his easel and went into beef and pork; within the year the artist be- gan to grow short, fat, red and silent. “T thought I loved you,” she said; “but now I see you had the soul of a butcher.” “LT have four other wives living besides yourself,” AN ARDENT LONGING, he answered naively. CAPTAIN OF THE RANGERS—“* How does de game stan’ now. Jimmie?” Jina “It's de end o° de ninth i Brooklyns is t'ree erhead, an’ de New tree men on de bases an’ hev two outs agin ‘em.” CAPTAIN OF THE KANGERS (teith a sigh}—"* V' gib er million dollars ter be in de batter's place at ¢* L® T bygones be bygones !"—by whom is it said? dis moment.” Then you are indeed a true artist. Forgive me for doubting you,” she lisped sweetly and sprang to his protecting arms, You'll only hear that from the man that’s ahead. — with this result? comicbooks.com